


Together Forever

by PeachesnCherry



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, and then bill gets caught lying, bill and ford have been a couple for a while already, bill comes through the portal early, bills on thin ice, can he worm his way out of this one?, ford gets pissed, lovers to enemies (for like a few paragraphs) to friends-ish to lovers, this has sorta turned into a bit of a, together forever au, we're on the friends-ish bit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2019-10-19 20:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 44,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17608214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachesnCherry/pseuds/PeachesnCherry
Summary: Finally, after all this waiting, the portal is open and Ford gets to meet his muse face to face! What a dream come true! At least, it was a dream until Bill gets caught lying about who he is and where he's from. Will Bill be able to salvage their relationship?





	1. Bill comes through the portal

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello. Thank you so much for checking out my story! I suggest [watching this animatic](https://hopeyoulikemygravityfallsfanart.tumblr.com/post/172161120542/oh-my-gosh-i-spent-so-many-hours-on-this-but-it) I made for this AU before reading this fic. You may also notice that I've made the beginning of this fic in comic form if you check out my Tumblr. I, uh, kinda quit making this fic a comic because I realized I'd spend forever making the comic and I'd hardly get anywhere with it. 
> 
> But! Now here I am making this a fanfiction! I'm sorry if it's not too good, words are my weakness. (´；w；`) I tried my best, honest!! If you have any helpful advice, I'd gladly take it!
> 
> Anyways, I think I've talked long enough. I hope you enjoy my fanfiction!

Tonight's the big night. The night history is made. Ford feels the giddiness building in his chest. He does his best to use the pent up energy to double-check the machines monitoring the portal, though it probably isn't necessary since F had sextuple checked everything. There wasn't much left to do. Despite Ford's best efforts, his excitement kept stockpiling. The only thing keeping him from bouncing on the heels of his feet is his sense of professionalism.

Fiddleford came up to him, a clipboard with a checklist and a pen in his hands. "Seems everything's in working order. I'd say it's high time to turn it on."

Ford grins. "Then let's do it."

With the last few final adjustments done, F set his clipboard down on his desk and they both walked into the portal room. Ford couldn't help the pride he felt at the sight of his portal. All of his work has culminated to this very moment. All they had to do was turn it on and finally Ford would get what he deserved. His name in the history books, up there with the greats of Tesla and Einstein. And, of course, being able to see Bill without falling asleep first.

F took his place in front of the portal, carefully observing in case anything goes wrong. He's always been such a worrywart, though considering what happened last time, maybe he has a right to worry. Still, doesn't stop Ford from confidently striding forward to the lever and pushing it, careful to stay behind the caution line, at least for F's sake.

Ford walked back and watched as the portal sparked to life. F shielded his eyes as an explosion of light spun around the portal entrance. Ford simply looked on, ignoring the way the sudden bright light made his eyes sting. There's no way he's missing a single second of this.

After a few seconds gravity starts to shift. First, a few pebbles start to lift from the dirt floor and Ford felt his stomach get lighter. Then his entire body is being lifted from the ground. He remains upright. From the corner of his eye, he can see that Fiddleford is worriedly trying to straighten himself out so that when the gravity comes back he'll land on his feet.

Ford's attention snaps back to the portal when the light starts shifting and a rainbow of colors pours from the portal entrance. Slowly it spins, gaining speed as the seconds tick by. Ford feels his grin grow wider.

Suddenly, gravity returns and Ford lands on his feet. He doesn't bother to look if F has done the same as his attention is held by the black triangle that has appeared in the doorway between worlds. The triangle grows more detailed as he slips through, revealing Bill's form.

Bill looks around before spotting him and steadily glides down towards him. As he gets closer his colors shift to their usual hues. Before Ford realizes it he's swept up in an embrace as he's lifted from the ground. Ford is pleased to see that Bill looks quite happy and embraces Bill back. Finally, he's actually with his muse. He's spun around quickly and he can't help but close his eyes in mirth as giddy laughter springs from his chest.

His eyes snap open as he feels lips on his, then closes them again as he kisses Bill back. It's a chaste kiss, but his heartbeat thrums stronger anyways. His lips are so soft-

"Er," Ford is distracted from Bill when Fiddleford speaks up, "you didn't tell me you two were a couple."

 _Ah_ , Ford thinks, _I forgot_.

He glances over at Bill to see that he is looking back at him, an annoyed expression on his face. Ford is then unceremoniously dropped onto the ground. Ouch.

Ford chances another look at Bill and sees him silently hovering. Uh-oh. Ford knows full well that if Bill is left to stew in his annoyed thoughts he'll eventually get mad. Before he could do anything to prevent that though Fiddleford had walked over and grabbed Bill's hand. Ford winces. He's had experience in touching Bill without his permission. If he wasn't mad before, he certainly is now.

"It's a pleasure to properly meet you this time, Bill!" F shakes his hand enthusiastically.

A moment passes, and then-

"Oh, please, the pleasure's all mine!" Bill greets back, even tipping his hat. Huh, not what Ford expected.

"Y-yes, "Ford finally gathers himself from the ground and stood up quickly, "so nice to finally meet you in the flesh!"

Ah, Bill looks slightly annoyed again, but before Ford can think to apologize Bill's chuckling.

"Heh, well, not quite. Stand back for a moment..." Bill extends his arms to gently push him and F away from himself.

Bill shifts from his golden form back to the black one. Blue orbs of light start gathering around him and move to splatter across his surface. He's entirely blue, but then shifts to a solid gray when then flesh starts crawling across his body. Once he's fully covered, what looks like solid steel encapsulates his entire form. The steel collapses in several shimmery purple hues while his body is a mosaic of blues. Then he glows brighter. Brighter and brighter still until Ford's entire vision goes white. After a second the light dims and Ford blinks the afterimages out of his eyes. He looks back at Bill to see him staring right at him.

"Now we meet in the flesh." Bill smirks.

"Woah." Ford has stars in his eyes. Absolutely incredible! Bill never ceases to amaze him. He starts walking towards Bill. "Fascinating!"

"Wait-" Fiddlford called out, but Ford was too caught up in his excitement to notice.

"What was that?"Ford asks.

"I've gained corporeality!" Bill reaches over and pinches his cheek. "Now I'm just as fleshy as you!" He then pulls Ford forward to caress both his cheeks. Ford can feel his face heat up at Bill's close proximity.

"You know what? I'm in a good mood, so I'll forgive you for not telling Glasses the true nature of our relationship." Bill leans even closer. "Just don't do that again. Okay?"

Ford gulps. Bill really is too close to his face. Makes him feel flustered. "Okay. Um, I'm sorry."

"Good." Bill finally leans back. Ford's about to let out a sigh of relief when Bill suddenly leans in even closer than before. The way Bill's eye subtly shifts makes Ford think he's checking out his face.

"Hmm?"

Ford can feel himself blush. Is he going to kiss him again?

Before he can mentally prepare himself to get kissed by his muse again, Bill gasps.

"So cute!!" Bill's pupil has changed to a heart?

"I could smush these cheeks forever. You’re so cute, you know that? Cause you really are. Your worried expression is so endearing, what are you so worried about? Don’t worry, I’m not mad at you anymore. So wipe that look off your face. Actually, maybe keep looking worried, since you look so cute and-"

"Um..."

Bill is snapped out of his gushing and Ford abruptly remembers that Fiddleford exists. Ford can't help but notice that he looks a little pale.

F nervously scratches the back of his head. "Are we really going to ignore what just happened? Why did you gain corporeality?"

Bill let's go of his face. "Oh, that? I just wanted my flesh back." He nonchalantly shrugs.

"What in tarnation does that even mean?"

"Wait, " Ford starts, "You used to be corporeal?"

"Bingo!" Bill gives him a thumbs up. "Sixer's got it!"

Ford felt concern build in his chest. "What caused you to lose your previous body?"

"..." Bill looked positively irritated. He glared off to the side. "Somebody forced me to leave it behind."

...

... ..? What does th-

"ANYWAYS!!" Bill loudly exclaims. "I've got business with the two of you!" Bill fixes his already perfect bowtie before giving an intense look at Ford.

"Fordsie, here's the deal. How would you like to allow me to do everything in my power to help you be happy for the rest of your life?"

Ford blinks. "Why?"

"..? Why? Why not? Aren't humans all about the pursuit of happiness or something? I mean, your happiness is my happiness. " Bill pauses. "Besides, you're sorta on the zodiac and I don't want you to team up with all the other members and, say, mistakenly think I'm evil and obliterate me to nonexistence? So keeping you happy along with all the rest of the zodiac would be my top priority.

"What do you say, Fordsie?" Bill sticks out his hand. It bursts into blue flames. Fiddleford squeaks out in surprise.

Ford could feel his concern for Bill grow stronger. "Why would I ever think you're evil, Bill?"

The flame goes out and Bill starts fidgeting. "W-well... uh....." Silence.

Ford frowns. "Who gave you the idea you're evil, Bill?"

Bill looks surprised. He glances away at his hands that are messing with his bowtie. "..."

"Bill, I know that you have some anger issues, but that doesn't mean you're evil. Look at everything you've accomplished!" Ford gestures around at the whole portal room. "You've helped me with discovering the theory of weirdness, the building of the portal and, " Ford takes a chance and gently takes Bill's hand in his own, "you believed in me, and helped me believe in myself." He hopes his expression matches the amount of love he feels for his muse.

"So you see, Bill, you're not evil. And there's no need to make this deal. Just being here with you is enough to make me happy."

Bill stares at him, glances down at their linked hands, and looks back up. Ford internally winces. Ah, he knew he shouldn't have tried to touch Bill without his permission. He pulled his hand away, but before he could take it back to his side Bill grabbed his hand and held it tightly. Ford is startled to see that Bill has turned a bright shade of pink, and what a lovely sight that was to see.

"You really mean all that?" Bill looked at him through his eyelashes.

Ford nods enthusiastically, relishing in the feel of holding Bill's hand. "Of course!"

Bill looked back at their intertwined hands. His pupil swished back and forth, which Ford has learned meant he was internally debating something. Ford patiently waited for his muse to figure out whatever he's trying to figure out.

"...I guess there's no need to make the deal, if you don't want to." Bill looks up from their hands, turning back to his golden hue as he does so. "But, think of it this way! This contract makes things official between us!"

Ford hums in confusion. Bill lets his other hand grab Ford's.

"The deal is like an official friend contract, but for us, it'll make us officially boyfriends! Only people who are serious about each other do this."

Ford blushes. "Officially boyfriends?"

"Yep!" Bill cheerfully chirps. Bill let's go of Ford's hand and sticks out his again, letting blue flames surround it. "So, Sixer, do we have a deal to allow me to do everything in my power to make you be happy for the rest of your life as your official boyfriend and in return, you be mine?"

Ford grins widely. He'd have to be a fool to not take the offer of proving to Bill that he's dead serious about being Bill's boyfriend. Especially knowing now that Bill has some insecurities that he deals with. Ford will reassure Bill whenever that he's a good person!

"Deal!" As Ford takes Bill's hand in his own, he felt a chill go up his spine. Ford is used to the feeling, though the sensation of magic spreading through him still fascinates him every time.

After a few shakes, they let go of each other's hands. Ford feels so tempted to pull Bill into a hug, but he knows better than to push his luck.

"Alright!" Bill claps his hands together. "One zodiac down, nine to go! Let's get the second one a-rollin' with you, Glasses!"

"Wha- Me?"

Bill laughs. "Yes, you!"

"Well, that's quite the coincidence." F scratches his head unsurely. "Are you sure it's me?"

"Sure I'm sure! And it's not just a coincidence, members of the zodiac have a tendency to be drawn together. The only exception is the rest of the Pines family."

"Wait, other members of my family are on the zodiac?" Ford is quite surprised, but then frowns. "Which other members?"

"Well, there's your brother, he's Fez-"

"Stanley?" Ford can't quite keep the bitter tone out of his voice.

Bill ignores Ford and continues on. "-it'll make more sense in the future for why he's the fez, I bet. Then there's your old aunt and uncle who are Pine Tree and Shooting Star respectively."

Ford stews in bitter memories as Bill continues on. He turns to Fiddleford and lights his hand on fire "So, what do you say, Glasses? We have a deal to allow me to do everything in my power to make you be happy for the rest of your life and in return you be my friend?"

F nervously clutches his arm. "I- I'm not so sure, can you give me some time to think about it?"

Bill blinks, extinguishes the flames and takes his hand back. "Sure! Take as much time as you need to figure it out. I just hope that you accept later on so that we can be official friends. In the meantime, I guess we'll just have to go with unofficial friends, haha!"

F relaxes a fraction. "Er, would you mind if I speak to Ford for a bit? Just the two of us?"

Bill forms a baseball bat and hands it to F. "Knock yourself out!"

F stares incredulously at the baseball bat. "Uhh..."

"AHAHA!" Bill wipes a fake tear away. "Your face. Sure go ahead!" Bill floats away before turning back, continuously heading in the same direction. "Keep the bat!"

"...Thanks?" Fiddleford nervously clutches it. Bill turned back around and headed for the door.

Ford snaps out of his thoughts. "Where are you going, Bill?"

"I've got other members of the zodiac to make deals with."

Ford can't help but feel a little disappointed. "But I was hoping you'd show us around your home dimension."

Bill paused at that. And he continued pausing for a few seconds before turning towards Ford and heading in his direction. "Eh, sorry Sixer, I'm not interested in heading back to that crazy dimension anytime soon."

Ford feels sorely disappointed at that fact. Then Bill takes one look at his expression and blurts out, "Later." Bill takes his hand in both of his. "I promise that later I'll give you a tour."

Ford smiles a little at that, mood nearly good again. Though Ford isn't certain how he's going to be able to be patient when he literally has a door to another dimension right at his fingertips. For Bill, he'll try though.

Bill lets go of his hands, apparently satisfied at Ford's expression. "In the meantime, you two better shut down the portal for now. Don't want you to run out of fuel before you can truly start exploring the weirdness dimension. Also, you don't want anybody else coming through the portal too. Not everybody is as nice as I am, you know."

F starts at that, seemingly shocked that he could forget about such things, and rushes to turn off the portal, setting the baseball bat against the wall as he waits for the door to open. Ford turned back to Bill before going to help F. Bill gives him a look of reassurance. "Remember, I promise."

Satisfied at that, Ford goes to help F turn off the portal. He makes his way to the door back to the machines where F is flipping the switches necessary to turn the machine off.

As Ford gets close to help F glances in his direction, then turns back and says, "I really hope you know what you're dealing with. Bill gives me the goosebumps."

Ford frowns. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that clearly something beyond both of our understandings is happening here and I'm not sure I like it. "

Ford pushes the final buttons to power off the portal. "What is there beyond our understanding?"

"What-" F turns to Ford and scoffs, "The weird magic Bill has, obviously! He just gained a physical form like it was nothing and you don't appear to even be concerned! Who knows what else Bill is capable of and instead of questioning it like a scientist you just get flustered like a love-sick fool!"

Ford feel anger rise in his throat like bile. "Now hold on a moment, F. I know that you're superstitious, but you're being ridiculous. Bill isn't some sort of demon or whatever you're thinking he is. He's a muse from a higher plane of existence whose best interests match my own. He just wants to see the advancement of mankind!" Ford crosses his arms and huffs. "Honestly F, have a little more faith, if not in Bill, then in me! I'm not a fool."

The door from the portal room suddenly opens, and Bill slips in. He either doesn't notice the tension between the two of them or ignores it.

"Welp, I'm off to make more contracts with the rest of the zodiac. Good luck with all the paperwork getting the portal officially patented, Fordsie." Bill kisses his cheek before moving into the elevator. He gives a little wave before the door closed and he heads up.

"Oh yeah, he's absolutely terrifying, F. Sweet little kisses of doom."

F gestures a bit wildly with his hands. "That's not-" F sighs before pinching the bridge of his nose, "I just want you to be careful Ford. I don't want to see you, or anybody else for that matter, get hurt." He looks up. "I'm just saying, don't take everything at face value."

Ford sighs himself, his previous anger draining out of him. "Look, I promise I know exactly what I'm doing. I've spent time with Bill for a few years now. I know him." Ford uncrosses his arms. "Sure, I admit, that Bill does have some issues. He likes to play jokes and can be mean sometimes. But he always knows not to cross the line, and if he ever does, he apologizes. He's very sweet and smart and has helped me so much over the past three years. And, not to be rude, but you've only met him twice." Ford lays a hand on his friend's shoulder. He gives F a smile. "Believe me when I say that Bill isn't somebody you should be afraid of."

F looks at his face, searching for a long while. "You really do like him, don't you?"

"I don't just like him, I-" Ford nervously scratches his cheek, "I think I love him."

F looks a while longer before finally sighing. "I hope you're right."

Ford smiles brighter. He'll take this hesitant acceptance for now. "Of course I'm right!" Ford smile drops for a quick moment. "Oh, and by the way, try not to tell Bill you doubt his good nature. I know that he has issues with believing he's a good person. So please be nice."

F thinks for a moment before putting on a nervous smile. "I'll do my best."

Ford smiles again. "Wonderful! Now let's head upstairs. We've got patent documents to figure out."

Ford and F climb inside the elevator together and head up to their study.


	2. Bill gets some business done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everybody who commented and gave kudos!! I really appreciate it! Hopefully y'all will enjoy this chapter too!

Bill flexes his fingers, giddy at the feeling of being inside flesh he can call his own. Being nothing more than a soul entering people's dreams is fun and all, but boy does it feel great having a body again, and having all his powers back is a nice bonus as well. Besides, being trapped inside the Nightmare Realm is waaaay too stuffy.

And it's all thank to his smart yet gullible boyfriend! Bill's so lucky that this Stanford exists. Quick to fall in love and not so quick to catch on to the truth. Cute too!

Maybe Bill feels a tad bit bad about lying to him so much which, actually, is weird. And not the good kinda weird, just a confusing weird. Bill didn't feel bad about lying before, but somehow along the way Bill... grew to care a little bit? He's not entirely sure why though. It's not like Bill ever plans on telling Sixer the truth so it's not like he'll ever get in trouble for it. And thinking about it any more than absolutely necessary just makes Bill feel bad weird, so he doesn't bother with the thought too much.

Bill's snaps back to reality as he reaches the edge of town. He's careful to keep out of sight of the locals who're up in the middle of the night thanks to the gravity distortions. As much as Bill loves the thought of going straight to the middle of town and creating some good old-fashioned chaos, he holds back on these urges and sticks to the trees. He has a job to do, deals to make, and he doesn't want people to be put on edge yet. It'll ruin the surprise party!

As Bill floats further along his path to the closest zodiac member's house he hears snippets of conversations.

"...look at this mess..."

"...happened again?"

"...too early..."

Bill doesn't particularly care about what the townsfolk think about anything so he keeps moving forward. But from what little Bill has gathered it looks like people would rather go back to sleep than deal with anything this late at night. Good. Makes things easier for Bill.

Bill keeps to the forest until he finally makes it to Question Mark's home. Bill heads for the back of the house where he reluctantly ditches his physical form to keep it out of sight. He floats invisibly through the wall to search for Question Mark's room. Bill hears worried mumbles from the far corner of the house. He ignores them in favor of following the sounds of a man's grumbling voice.

"I'll deal with them in the morning."

"But our kids need their dad now!" Bill heard a distinctively higher pitched voice reprimand. Bill enters the room to see Question Mark in bed while his wife, assumedly, stands over him.

"Feh, they're old enough to deal with it." Question Mark grumbles and turns over, covering his head with the covers.

Mrs. Question Mark scoffs and opens her mouth to probably say something more, but then seems to think better of it and leaves the room in a huff. Bill hears her call out to her kids, but really he couldn't care less. Question Mark already appears to be drifting back to sleep. Bill effortlessly slips himself into the man's dreams.

Bill blinks open his eye, taking in all the details of the man's mindscape. Bill's seen his dreams before, but never the mindscape. His first impression is that he hates it and the man himself. The dreamscape appears to be primarily made of an unimaginative casino setting, sounds of slot machines ringing fill the air. The air is also filled with an irritating amount of cigar smoke. Looking up, Bill can't even see the ceiling thanks to it. The smoke almost makes Bill want to blink, and he's sure that if he didn't grow past the need for lungs he'd want to cough too.

Bill spots Question Mark at a poker table surrounded by waitresses dressed as slutty bunnies, a couple of whom are draped over him. The rest are carrying several bottles of what looks to be strong yet cheap liquor. The man's wearing nothing but a wife-beater and boxers. Gross. And he's smoking a cigar. Double gross.

This place is hideous compared to Sixer's mindscape. Clearly, this is a man who's never dreamed big, or even really beyond himself. The man's not even classy. A total cheapskate. Question Mark immediately goes on to a list of people who Bill would never want to interact with, not even with a thirty-foot pole.

Unless something sharp was attached to the end of it.

It's obvious that Question Mark is a simple man, so clearly this is going to be easy. Humans are so predictable.

Bill mosies over to him. "Mind if I take a seat?" Bill asks cordially.

Question Mark takes in a drag of his cigar and looks Bill over. He seems mildly surprised, but his expression quickly changes to irritated. "Fuck off." He says, blowing the smoke directly into Bill's open eye.

Bill screams out as he closes his eye shut, rubbing harshly to try to get the stinging sensation out. He can feel his eye-watering up and blinks a few times to encourage the cleansing flow. Of course, the air around him is not helping at all, so Bill swipes his hand to get the smoke to disperse around him. There, much better. Bill wipes away his tears.

Okay, huff, okay. Bill's okay. Of course, Question Mark isn't going to be okay in the next 3 seconds when Bill turns this place into a nightmare beyond the man's puny imagination!

But... the contract needs to be made...

..............Fine. Fine. Everything's fine. Just, relax.

Bill attempts to find peace. It's a bit difficult though because of all these loud ringing slot machines and the air is disgusting and everything about this place puts him on edge!

Focus, Bill. The contract with this man is very important. Even if he's slime. And curses. And is the antithesis of a gentleman. It doesn't matter.

Take two.

Instead of asking to join the table, this time Bill fires a laser from his fingertip to obliterate one of the gross man's little shadow poker buddies. He takes the spot. Question Mark looks distinctly irked but doesn't move to stop him, or even say anything.

Bill picks up the dead shadow's cards. Hmm, a flush. Not bad. Not that it matters much because he is a dream demon, after all. Bill easily shifts the cards from a flush to a pair.

Bill's pretty good at playing a bad game, especially since he never plays poker all that much anyways. Interdimensional chess is more his cup of tea.

He makes quick work of losing all his chips and does a pretty good job of acting like he's getting desperate as well, if the sleazy man's smugness is anything to go by. The way Question Mark keeps smirking at him as he loses everything really gets under Bill's metaphorical skin, but Bill doesn't let up. He's got a deal to make.

Bill sets down his cards. "Two pairs."

Question Mark is as smug as ever. "Full house."

There goes the rest of Bill's chips. He's out, except for...

"Let's make a deal."

Question Mark raises his eyebrow, looking far more amused than intrigued.

"If I win, I get all your chips, if you win, you'll allow me to do everything in my power to make you happy for the rest of your life." Bill holds out his hand and it bursts into flames. "How's that sound?"

Question Mark smirks, too overconfident to think twice. "Deal." He shakes Bill's hand.

The shadowy dealer hands out the cards. Bill doesn't even need to do anything as they're already garbage. Perfect.

Bill acts irritated at his cards, making Question Mark smirk turn into a full-blown shit-eating grin.

"You have way too many tells, triangle man." He sets down his cards. A straight flush.

Bill throws his garbage cards onto the table lets out a tch.

"Pay up and weep, loser." The filth leans back and crosses his arms behind his head.

"Alright, alright." Bill snaps his fingers and spawns a small mountain's worth of chips in front of the greasy man. He also makes more bunny girls come into existence, letting them fawn over the ugly human. Bill was even nice enough to change the cheap liquor to something a little more classy. Let nobody say that Bill isn't generous.

The disgusting human certainly seems to be enjoying himself. To make certain that he will be happy Bill shifts the dream around so that it remains in the stupid human's good fortune. Bill pushes himself away from the table and decides that this is the perfect time to leave. Question Mark is too caught up in the whispering of the women to bother wondering where Bill is going.

Bill exits the human's mindscape and sighs in relief. Bill looks over Question Mark's body and seethes to see that he's smiling in his sleep. What Bill would give to plague his mind with nightmares. Instead, he creates a good luck blessing and places it into the man's chest. There, now Bill won't have to deal with him for a while. Not enough good luck that he'll become a millionaire or avoid lung cancer in nine years, but enough to make him happy.

It's a mystery this man is married. But considering the fact that Bill just gave him good luck, he could end up divorced soon. If that is what he considers to be lucky, of course.

Now then, who's next?

______________________________________

Ice, Stitches, Pentagram and Llama were all a cinch compared to Question Mark. Just a rinse, repeat of, "Hello. Don't be afraid of me. I just want to be your friend. Make a deal with me. Yes, this is a crazy dream, as far as you're aware. Bye-bye." Give blessing of good luck. End scene.

Well, besides Llama, the old hag. She tried to get more out of Bill, as if he isn't already offering her all her dreams come true on a silver platter. Humans are selfish, Bill knows, but now he knows that it's especially true for the Northwests.

Bill makes it just as the sun is rising back to Sixer's place. What a long night. Of course, time is meaningless technically, but Bill doesn't care right now.

Bill opens the back door of the shack to see Sixer in the living room. Looks like he's still going over patent paperwork. Several books and blueprints are laid open and scattered all over the place. Sixer keeps cross-referencing between them and his paperwork, muttering under his breath as he writes.

Bill floats on over. Sixer doesn't notice, too caught up in writing details of how the portal worked. Bill politely makes a coughing noise to get his attention.

Sixer looks up, momentarily confused, and the smiles at Bill. "Back so soon?"

"Soon? Sixer, do me a favor and look out the back door window."

Sixer frowns a little and glances out the little window. He looks surprised and then bashful. His hand goes to the back of his neck. "Whoops, old habits die hard, huh?" Sixer sets down his pen and stretches out his spine. He lets out a long satisfactory hum as it pops. He goes to take a sip from his coffee cup, but then frowns a little when he finds it empty.

"It's probably a good time for a short break. Besides, there's something I want to talk to you about." Bill says. Sixer nods and stands up to head for the kitchen. Bill follows.

Bill watches as Sixer pours himself another cup, the glass pitcher now mostly empty. Sixer heads to the fridge when Bill decides to talk.

"So, you should probably write a letter to your brother."

Sixer freezes for a moment as he grips the fridge door, his hand tightening before moving again, albeit more stiffly. "Why would I do that?"

"Because I need to make a deal with him as well. He is the fez, remember?"

Sixer pulls out the milk and closes the fridge with more force than necessary. "Can't you just find him?"

"See, that's the problem Sixer, I don't know where he is exactly. And quite frankly, I'm not looking to play a game of cat and mouse just to find him. It's much easier if you just invite him over."

Sixer is silent as he pours the milk into his coffee. He stares at the milk swirling in his cup as he scowls. Bill waits impatiently as Sixer puts the milk back into the fridge.

Sixer looks over at Bill, before turning to get the spoon he used from previous coffees. He moves to his coffee and stirs it. "I have no interest in seeing Stanley again." Ford sets the spoon back where he left it before and takes his coffee back into the living room. "Can't you just do it yourself?"

Bill could, but that doesn't mean he wants to.

"...Sixer, this isn't about getting you to do my work for me." A lie, but that fact isn't very important right now. "This is about fixing what needs to be fixed."

Sixer sits down, taking a sip of his coffee. He doesn't look at Bill.

Bill sighs. Honestly, Sixer is just too stubborn. "I hate seeing you carry this grudge all the time about your brother. Don't you think it's time to forgive him for his mistakes?"

Sixer scoffs. "Mistakes? Stanley knew exactly what he was doing."

Bill rolls his eye. "Uh, all-seeing eye, remember? I know lots of things, including the fact that your brother didn't really mean to sabotage your science project." Bill checks Sixer's reaction. He looks intently at Bill, a disbelieving glint in his eye.

Bill continues. "Look, it doesn't matter whether you believe me or not. What matters is the fact that Fez appears to really feel remorse for his actions, from what I've seen. And, you know, I've seen a lot, because all-seeing eye."

"I get it, Bill." Sixer sighs.

Bill brightens up. "Does this mean you'll write him the invitation?"

Sixer remains silent. Really, that stubborn streak is going to get him in trouble one of these days...

"Look, Fordsie, you never needed that fancy college."

Sixer gives him a withering stare. Ha, like that's going to affect him.

"I mean it! Look at all you've done without it!" Bill gestures widely at all the papers, science experiments, and inventions scattered all over the place. Belatedly, he realizes that he's making a speech incredibly similar to the one Fordsie gave him. Eh, don't break what ain't broken. "The portal, all these inventions, all your discoveries! You've done more in less than ten years than other scientists accomplish in their entire lifetimes!"

Bill floated over to Sixer and gently held his face in his hands. "Don't you see what I mean, Fordsie? You never needed that college to be great. You just needed to believe in yourself."

Sixer looked into his eye, before glancing away. "I guess I never thought of it that way."

Bill smiled sweetly. Finally, he's listening to reason. "So will you please send out an invitation for Fez? I know you miss him, so stop holding this grudge over a mistake that happened when you were kids." Now, the icing on the cake. "Please?"

Fordsie looked back into his eyes, holding his gaze for a few seconds. Bill has no idea what he's searching for, but he finally blinks and says, "Alright, I'll write the letter."

Bill smiles brightly. "Thank you." Bill kisses his nose briefly in appreciation. When he opens his eye again Sixer is blushing so cutely! Ah, Fordsie's such a cute human!

"U-um, I'll send him the invitation once I'm finished with these patents."

Hmm, not exactly what Bill would prefer. Bill backs off a bit to give Sixer some space. "How much more have you got to go?"

Sixer picks up his pen again to start writing. "I didn't think it'd take me so long, but now I'm guessing it'll take me at least a couple of weeks to finish, with F's help of course."

Not good. "How about you write the letter first, just so you can get it out of the way? Better to get it done and over with, I say."

Sixer hums at this, chewing on the end of his pen. "I suppose you have a point. I'd hate to have the thought of having to write to Stanley on the back of my mind as I work. It could distract me!" He nods. "Sure, let me just grab some stationary." Sixer stands up and heads for his study.

Excellent! Sixer's gonna get along with his brother again, which is great on more than one level! Not that Bill cares if Fordsie gets along with his brother... okay, maybe he kinda cares. He doesn't want Sixer to be all mad and mopey every time he thinks of his past. But, the most important part is that Sixer brings Fez here so that Bill can make a deal with him. Even if the brothers fall out again it shouldn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. As long as Bill gets that deal, everything is peachy-keen.

Hmm, Sixer isn't back yet. Shouldn't he be here by now? Bill checks his pocket watch and...

It's been twelve seconds... Welp, no problem. Bill can wait. By himself. Alone.

...

Yep.

...

Okay, he's already bored. Now that Bill is paying attention to the living room he can tell that it is a complete and utter mess. Now Bill loves chaotic messes, but he wonders how exactly Sixer can find anything in this rat's den.

Bill wanders over to the aquarium containing the dinosaur skull hooked up to electrodes connected to a computer. He has absolutely no idea what kind of experiment is even going on. He taps the glass a couple of times. The computer immediately rings out an alarm at the information it picked up from the vibrations. Uh, whoops?

It's then that Sixer runs back into the room, looking a little frantic. He rushes over to the machine.

Bill sweats. "I swear, I only tapped it a little. I was just curious!" The last thing Bill needs is for Sixer to get mad at him. Not that it's ever happened before, but still...

Sixer glances at Bill then looks back at the results on the computer. He sighs disappointedly. He pushes a few buttons and the alarm turns off. "I'm gone not even half a minute..."

Bill's about to suck up his pride and apologize, but then he realizes the humorous tilt to Sixer's voice and the way his eyes appear to be laughing at him. Normally Bill would spike up even at the thought of somebody laughing at him, but Fordsie's face makes him forget his, uh, everything.

There's something about the way the sides of his eyes crinkle into laugh lines and that heartfelt smile that, for lack of a better term, takes his breath away. It startles Bill just how relieved he is that not only is Ford not mad, but apparently endeared to him. Wow, Bill is lucky that this Stanford exists. Why was he worried again?

Bill blinks and then snaps out of his reverie. Invitation, right. Bill focuses back on what Sixer is doing and he's just looking back at Bill, a smug smirk on his face.

Bill narrows his eye suspiciously. "What?"

Sixer goes to sit on the couch. "Oh, nothing. You're blushing is very cute."

Bill sputters. Cute? Blushing? Bill Cipher does not do cute or blushing! It's Sixer who's head over heels for Bill, not the other way around! He straightens himself out and puts on his best affronted front. "I'll have you know I'm not cute, I'm handsome."

Sixer's looking at the letter as he's writing, but his smirk grows. "Sure. I'd even so strikingly so."

Bill thinks that maybe Sixer may be making fun of him here, but he pauses. Hmm, that's a good adjective.

"...Yes, I am strikingly handsome." Bill nods to himself.

Ford huffs out a laugh. Bill ignores that he's being laughed at again. He'll let Sixer get away with it, for now at least.

...Actually, now that Bill thinks about it, he's been letting Sixer get away with a lot lately. Hmm, eh, whatever. If Bill doesn't care then he isn't going to make himself care. He only ever does what he wants after all.

Bill floats over to watch over Sixer's shoulder. Surprisingly, most of the letter is scribbled out. Bill observes Sixer's face to see that he's frustrated.

"Can't come up with the right words?"

Ford looks up from his writing, or perhaps more accurately, his striking out. "I just, " he huffs, "What do you say after over ten years of no contact?"

"I think you're thinking too hard about this, Sixer. Just invite him over and get all the mushy-gushy stuff out when he gets here."

Sixer stops to consider this. "You're right. A letter is far too impersonal for what we need to discuss." He finishes scratching out the rejected writing and then writes out a simple offer to rekindle their broken relationship along with his address.

"There!" Sixer looks up smiling at Bill. "What do you think?"

"Looks good, smart guy." Bill gives him a thumbs up. "You'll be friends with your brother again in no time!"

Sixer's smile grows softer. His eyes start to look distant, perhaps caught up in a memory?

"Yeah." Sixer says, just as soft as his smile.


	3. Ford is very, very tired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, this chapter was supposed to be around 3,000-5,000 words, but instead, it's over 9,500 words long. Oof. Next time a chapter gets to be too long I'm gonna split it up into parts. 5,000 words per chapter should be good enough, right? Unless you guys prefer the long waits with bigger chapters? IDK which is more efficient. 
> 
> Anyways, thank you so much for waiting for the next chapter, and I hope y'all enjoy!

Ford steps outside, letter in hand, and heads for the mailbox. Bill follows him outside and watches as he deposits the letter.

"As fun as it's been hanging out with you Sixer, and it has been fun really, I've got deals to make with the rest of the zodiac." Bill says.

"Oh, you wouldn't need me to write a letter to my aunt and uncle too, would you? Last I heard, Aunt Ruth is suffering from early onset Alzheimers and Uncle John is taking care of her. I doubt either of them is up for a trip all the way out here."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I know that those two won't be leaving for Gravity Falls anytime soon. I'll be going to them." Bill shrugs. "Who knows, maybe while I'm there I'll help fix her brain. Of course, I've never tried curing a mental illness before, so don't expect any miracles."

Ford smiles. "Oh, that would be sweet of you. Thank you!"

Bill tries to appear nonchalant, though Ford can tell that he's pleased. "I do try.

"Well Sixer, the sooner I leave, the sooner I come back." Bill hovers in close. "I'll see you later, Fordsie." Bill kisses the tip of his nose. Ford can feel himself blush. Bill starts moving towards the forest, sticking close to the road.

Ford feels sorely disappointed that his muse is leaving so soon. Before he can think twice he's calling out to Bill.

"Wait!" Ford jogs up to where Bill had paused, turning to look back at Ford. "Let me walk with you. At least for a while. I mean," Ford scratches the back of his neck, "I need to stretch out my legs anyways after sitting for so long."

Bill smirks. "Aww," he pinches Ford's cheek, "don't want to part with me just yet, huh?" He let's go. "Sure, Fordsie. It'll be nice to spend a little more time with you."

Ford smiles in relief. They start walking. Well, Ford starts walking as his muse floats beside him.

"So, how long do you think you'll be gone?" Ford asks.

"Probably around as long as it takes for you to finish your patent papers. Don't worry Sixer, I'll be back before you know it."

Ford hums, but he doubts it. Bill has been with him for a few years now, always showing up nearly every night in his dreams. And now Bill is saying he'll be gone for a couple weeks? Ford already misses him.

Ford is startled out of his thoughts as he feels Bill grab his hand. Ford glances down and then back up at Bill. Bill has a sympathetic expression on his face and gently squeezes Ford's hand in reassurance. Ford finds himself smiling again and squeezes Bill's hand back. Ford realizes just how easy it is to smile around his muse. He's been doing it a lot more recently. Ford guesses that Bill just has that effect on him.

They enjoy a nice peaceful walk, hand in hand. Birds chirp sweetly as the sun warms the morning air. The undergrowth of the forest is no trouble as they stroll through the forest, careful to stay far away enough from the road that no early travelers notice a floating golden triangle.

Far too soon in Ford's opinion, they reach the edge of town. With the sign bidding farewell to people leaving Gravity Falls in sight, Bill and Ford come to a stop.

Bill turns to Ford. "Well Fordsie, you probably shouldn't head out any farther, unless you want Glasses to worry about you."

Ford chuckles. "No, I wouldn't want that to happen." Ford looks down the road, a forlorn expression on his face. "I guess this is goodbye then."

Bill floats back into Ford's field of vision. "Hey, don't act like this is the end of the world. I promise I'll be back soon. Then we can spend all the time you want together."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. You know, this isn't exactly easy for me either." Bill looks away from his eyes. "I'm going to miss you."

Ford blinks at that, then smiles sadly. "I'll miss you too."

They stand in silence, neither one wanting to leave. After a while, Bill finally sighs and let's go of his hand.

"Goodbye, Fordsie. I'll see you later."

"I'll see you then." Ford pauses, wondering if he should say the words that are on the tip of his tongue. As he watches Bill move away from him he decides.

"Hey, Bill, before you go," Ford calls out and Bill turns towards him, "I just want you to know that I love you!"

Bill's eye widens and goes stock still. He doesn't move, but before Ford could get concerned Bill color flipped through several different shades of pink.

"Haha, oh Sixer, you, uh." Bills colors change erratically like he's feeling too many emotions at once. Bill starts backing away from Ford. "You... lo-" Bill chokes over the word. Ford doesn't know whether to feel concerned over this reaction or amused.

"Me? Um, heheh. That's, uh-" Bill stops. Literally stops moving and stops speaking. His color changes back to normal and he looks confused. He flips around and reaches out his hand. A weird forcefield of some sort reverberates out and holds back his hand from reaching out any farther. He taps it a couple of times, watching as the barrier shimmers up, up, and up until Ford can't see it anymore. Bill pushes against it, but the barrier doesn't budge.

"Sixer, what is this?" Bill asks, turning to Ford. Ford is shocked just as much as Bill is.

"I don't know." Ford walks forward. He puts his hand up against the barrier like Bill's hand, but stumbles a bit as his hand phases right through. Weird. Ford walks past the barrier and turns back to Bill.

Bill is pushing against the forcefield again. "No." To Ford's surprise Bill grows multiple arms and starts rapidly punching the barrier. The barrier echos loudly out with each punch, but not a dent is made.

"No no no!" Bill retracts his arms and backs up. His eye starts glowing a pulsating blue. Ford has a split second to wonder what his muse is doing before a laser fires out of his eye. The barrier shimmers wildly, but nothing else happens. The laser ends and Bill blinks the smoke away from his eye. His brow furrows in anger.

"Sixer, what is this?!"

Ford is shocked by Bill's behavior. He's never seen his muse lose his temper like this. "I said already, I don't know!"

Bill starts muttering to himself, too low to make out what he's saying. He puts his hand up against the barrier and closes his eye.

"What are you doing?"

"Quiet, Sixer. I need to concentrate."

Ford lets Bill concentrate. After a couple of minutes, Bill's eye widens and Ford could swear he sees fear in it.

"No. No no no no NO." Bill starts pacing back and forth. "There's no way this can be happening!"

"What's wrong, Bill?" Ford asks, but he's already getting an idea of what's happening.

"What's wrong. What's wrong?" Bill says hysterically. "What's wrong is that I'm trapped in this stupid hick town!" Bill is shaking. "Who could have done this?" Bill's eye starts flashing images too fast for Ford's eye to follow.

"What are y-"

"NOT NOW, STANFORD."

Ford is shocked and takes a step back. He's never seen this side of his muse before. Bill's never yelled at him before. Ford is stunned into silence, anxiously waiting for his muse to finish whatever it is he's doing.

After several long tense minutes, Bill's eye finally stops flashing images. He paces back and forth again. Internally, Ford fights with himself, wondering if he should speak up or not.

Before Ford can build up the courage to say anything Bill reels back and punches the barrier faster than he can see with a loud cr-ack. For a moment Ford thought Bill had managed to break the barrier, but the forcefield stayed strong.

To Ford's mounting horror, he sees Bill pull back his mangled fist and stare at it. Ford's about to voice his dismay when he hears several loud clicking noises coming from his hand and he watches in fascinated unease as the bones jump back into place. Typically Ford would be thrilled that his muse is capable of such a feat, but considering the situation he feels far less enthused.

Ford's about to finally speak up when Bill turns a furious red, his eye jet black besides his piercing yellow pupil. His hands light on fire and for a moment it looks like he's about to start throwing it, but then it seems he notices Ford again. The flames go out and after a few seconds Bill turns back to his usual friendly gold.

Ford finally decides to speak up. "What was that?"

Bill looks like he's barely containing his rage. "I absolutely hate being trapped, Sixer. I-" Bill pauses for a moment and for a split second the rage dims into something more subdued, "...I get claustrophobic really easy. Even though this bubble stretches on for miles I," The rage comes back, "absolutely hate being stuck in one place. I'm meant to be free. To go where I please, Sixer. This barrier is holding ME BACK." Bill turns red again and punches the barrier, luckily not shattering his fist this time. He huffs out angrily and starts pacing. He flickers back and forth between gold and red, like he's trying to reign in his temper and failing.

Ford walks forward a couple of steps, but not enough to cross the barrier again. Ford isn't too certain what the correct words would be for this situation, but he knows he's gotta try something. "Bill, please try to calm down. I'm sure we'll figure this out."

Bill turns to Ford, his angry red fading back to gold. His eye looks thoughtful. "...Yes. We will figure this out." Bill moves towards Ford, but the barrier stops him before he can get in close. Bill looks annoyed for a moment before looking slightly miserable. "Fordsie, you'll help me figure out how to take down this barrier, right?"

Ford internally sighs in relief, happy to see his muse acting like his usual self again. Still though...

"Of course I will, Bill. But I have to ask, what is with that anger? I've never seen you so mad before."

Bill stills before shrugging nonchalantly. "Oh, I was just upset I was trapped. Even I'm not immune to anger, Sixer."

Ford supposes that makes sense. Ford would hate it too if he knew he was trapped here and never allowed to leave for the rest of his life. Ford nods to himself and comes back through the barrier. He decides Bill could use a distraction from being trapped. Ford moves his hand before hesitating.

"Would it be alright for me to hold your hand?"

Bill blinks. "Uh, sure."

Ford takes hold of his hand and tries to smile as reassuringly as possible. "Don't worry, I'm sure that we'll figure this out in no time."

Bill stares at him for a couple seconds before looking down at their intertwined hands. "I hope so."

"Come on, let's head back to the house. Perhaps there's some clue in my research to explain everything." The start walking.

It's a bit harder to pay attention to the scenery this time around. Even though he shrugged it off before, it worms it's way back into his brain how angry his muse got. How he looked like he was ready to destroy something before he realized that Ford was still there. It makes him think back to the warnings that surrounded his muse's summoning ritual. Ford had ignored it at the time and been willing to think whoever had written such warnings didn't know what they were talking about. Ford had reasoned they'd gone mad with knowledge they couldn't handle and blamed Bill for it or something of that nature. But seeing how his muse had reacted when he learned he was trapped... it worried Ford.

Ford chanced a glance at Bill to find him staring intently right back at him. Oh.

"...What's up with you, Sixer? You look like you're chewing on a sour lemon."

"I was just thinking about," Ford wonders whether he should bring up his concerns before deciding that F's paranoid thinking must have gotten into his brain somehow and choosing a different subject that had been bothering him before, "about when F touched your hand without your permission. Why didn't you get mad then?"

"Oh, that? I was mad, I just didn't want to give a bad first impression."

Hmm, well that's one mystery solved then, much to Ford's relief. He was starting to worry that Bill only got mad when Ford touched him. Knowing that F was spared for the sake of a good impression is a load off Ford's shoulders. Then a spike of guilt hit Ford. He shouldn't be glad that his muse got mad at F.

Ford decides to distract himself from said guilt with more questions.

"So, do you know what kind of barrier it is we're dealing with?"

Bill looked incredulous. "It's a magic one, IQ."

"I know that!" Ford huffed. "I'm just wondering what kind of magic barrier it is."

Bill hummed for a moment. "I never have seen one quite like this before. Typically with a barrier they block everybody. Or if the forcefield is meant to hold back one specific person, such as myself, it would block all their powers as well, and I can see beyond the barrier with my all-seeing eye. Not to mention that this barrier is abnormally strong. I think it might be blocking a specific type of energy, but which type of energy I'm not certain."

Ford soaks it all in. "So you're made of several types of energy?"

"Yes. Cosmic, godly, potential, chao-"

"Wait wait wait. Godly energy?" Ford can't believe it. "You're a god?"

"Well, I don't know I'd call myself a god." Bill stops for a moment. "I'm more of a demigod."

Ford gapes at Bill. No way. It can't be possible that Ford is dating a demigod.

Bill looked confused. "What did you think I was? Just some really smart magical guy from another dimension? Why do you think my face is plastered everywhere?"

Ford isn't sure he can believe it. But taking two seconds to think about it everything suddenly made sense in a way Ford didn't know he was missing. Wow, does Ford feel stupid right now. He closes his mouth.

Somehow, Ford was not only chosen by a demigod to become inspired by, but also won the affection of said demigod. Ford looked dumbly at Bill. He looked incredibly amused.

"Mommy, what's that floating triangle?" A child's voice called out from farther along the trail Ford and Bill were following. They both froze. Now that he's paying attention to their surroundings Ford becomes aware of a child riding a bicycle along with their walking mother.

"I'm not sure, sweetie. Maybe we can ask the nice man?" Curiosity shown brightly in both their eyes. They got closer.

"Excuse me, sir? Would you mind telling us what that dapper looking triangle is?"The mother asked kindly.

"Oh, this is, uh." Ford looked over at his muse, trying to ask with his eyes what he should do. Bill doesn't do a single thing, not moving a centimeter. Ford guesses his muse doesn't want to be known to these people and decides to make up something on the spot.

"This is a balloon." Nailed it.

"Wow, that's a very fancy balloon."

The child tugs at his mother's shirt. "Mommy, I want one too!"

She smiles at him. "Alright sweetheart." She turns back to Ford. "Can you tell us where you bought one?"

Uh. "You can't buy it anywhere. Because... Because I made it myself."

"Oh wow, you're very talented then! Can I pay you to make one for my son?"

...

"...No."

Before the woman could respond Ford starts power walking back to his house. He could hear the mother call out in surprise but he doesn't turn back. He keeps power walking the rest of the trip until they make it back to the house.

Bill let's go of Ford's hand and huffs. "An almighty demigod reduced to a balloon."

Ford frowns. "What did you want me to say? I didn't exactly have much time to think."

Bill crossed his arms. "How about... you could've..." Bill throws his hands in the air. "Okay, fine, I don't know what else you could've said that isn't stupid or less stupid than what you said." Bill looked off to the side. "It's still stupid though."

Ford opens the back door and steps in. "Well, for what it's worth, sorry. I didn't mean to insult you."

Bill follows Ford. "...Good."

"Hey you two, where did you head off too?" F calls out from the kitchen.

Bill looks at Ford. "I'll let you explain." He heads to the living room and sits on the couch.

Ford figures it's not worth it to get Bill to explain with him. He can get a head start on researching where the barrier originated from and Ford can make himself some breakfast.

Ford explains everything that happened as he fries up an egg for a breakfast sandwich. Well, nearly everything. He doesn't want F getting paranoid again about Bill getting angry. F listens carefully and doesn't say anything throughout Ford's explanation. By the time Ford sits down to eat he's explained everything he's willing to explain.

F finally speaks up. "So you're saying only Bill is trapped."

Ford swallows his bite. "Yes, that's correct."

F is silent for a moment. "Ford, I know you may not like to hear this, but what if the barrier is up for a reason?" Ford feels his shoulders hunch up. F hastily adds on, "I'm just saying, it's weird that only Bill can't leave. Don't you think that-"

"Now hang on a minute, I thought we've been over this F. Bill isn't who you think he is. He's a real gentleman who only wants what's best for this world! I know you're easily paranoid, but I think you're going too far with this."

"I'm just saying! Why would there be a barrier up if only Bill can't get through? Somebody must have had a reason for setting it up. I'm just wondering why that would be the case."

Ford opens his mouth to say something, come up with some sort of excuse, but Ford can't find one. He closes his mouth. Why would there be a barrier that only Bill can't cross? Who did that and why? Ford's brow furrows as he thinks. He can't come up with any answer other than to keep Bill trapped. But why would anybody want to keep Bill trapped? Ford thinks again of the warnings surrounding his muse's summoning ritual. To never summon him. Who hated Bill so much as to put up a barrier around the entirety of Gravity Falls? Actually, why would they set up a barrier around Gravity Falls when Bill lived in a different dimension? Unless...

"Hey, Sixer! Are you going to help me or are you going to talk to Glasses all day?"

Ford snaps out of his speculation and then berates himself for letting F's paranoia get to him. There's no way that Bill is some crazy manipulator... right?

Ford shakes his head to get the thought out of his head and quickly shoves the rest of the sandwich down his throat. He gets up and sets his plate in the sink to clean later.

"I'll talk with you later, F."

"Wait, before you go."

Ford raises an eyebrow questioningly.

"It's still fine for me to go see my family next week, right?"

Ah, Ford had forgotten about that. "Of course you're free to go." Even if Ford was mad at him for painting Bill as some cartoon villain there's no way he would deprive the man of his family. Ford's just going to have to work on those patent papers a little longer than he predicted. Thank god for coffee.

F smiles. Ford takes that as his cue to leave and heads for the living room.

Ford is mildly surprised to see that the patent papers are stacked neatly aside while his first and second journals are placed on the coffee table. Bill is lounging on the couch, eye flickering images. Ford takes a seat by his muse. He spots his coffee he left this morning and decides to drink the rest of it, despite it being lukewarm. Ford needs to stay awake somehow.

He grabs the first journal and starts flipping through it, knowing that it most likely contains what he needs. Ford tried to concentrate, but his mind kept slipping back to his earlier thoughts about Bill and why the barrier is up in the first place. He keeps glancing at Bill, trying to puzzle together the information in his head.

"Is there a reason you keep looking at me, Sixer?"

Ford is a bit startled, but then realizes that just because his muse is in some kind of weird trance doesn't mean that he's unaware of his surroundings. Ford sets down his journal and decides to test the waters, to see what his muse will tell him when he brings up these questions.

"I was just wondering. Why would a barrier like this be put up in the first place? I mean, it's pretty weird that only you're trapped."

Bill blinks the flashing images out of his eye. He stares at Ford like he's assessing him.

"I'm going to be honest with you. You know how I inspire a mind ever century?"

Ford nods.

"Well, there's one mind from nearly a thousand years ago whom I inspired. We left on... not so great terms. I think this man is the reason that there's a barrier in the first place. He's the only one I can think of in this dimension who would try to prevent me from leaving Gravity Falls."

Ford pauses. "So this isn't the first time you've tried to come into this dimension."

"Yes."

Ford considers this. "What made you leave on bad terms?"

Bill looks away. "I... let's just say that back then I was nowhere near as good at controlling my anger as I am now." Bill glances at Ford. "I tried being friends with him, and we were for a while, but..." Bill trails off. Ford waits for Bill patiently.

"Ah, sorry, this is just bringing up some bad memories." Bill sniffs? Ford finds that rather odd considering his muse didn't have a nose... or did he?

All thoughts of that nature immediately dissolved upon noticing that Bill was actually tearing up.

"I just," Bill wipes his eye, "I just don't like thinking about him. He just... he...."

"Hey, hey, it's okay." Internally, Ford is panicking. He didn't mean to push his muse too hard and make him cry! "If it upsets you this much, then there's no need to talk about it. Would it be alright for me to hug you?"

Bill sniffs again. "Yeah." He reaches out for Ford. Ford closes the gap and hugs his muse to his chest.

"See Fordsie, this is why I like you way more than him. You always ask for permission to touch me. He didn't." Ford hugs tighter to try to reassure him.

Ford isn't too certain what to say to make his muse feel better, so he stays silent and hopes that his hug conveys everything he can't figure out how to say.

"Thanks, Fordsie, I feel much better now." Ford takes this as his cue to stop hugging Bill, so he does.

"Do you want to keep working on how to take down the barrier? Or would you rather we took a break?"

"I'd rather keep working. The sooner that barrier is down, the sooner I'll stop feeling so claustrophobic."

Ford smiles gently. "Alright."

He picks his journal back up and gets to work.

Thinking of what Bill said Ford flips through his journal 'til he reaches the journal entries about the native populace of Gravity Falls. He skims through the texts he'd written about the history of these people. If Ford had to guess, Bill was talking about a shaman by the name of Modoc. There's plenty of evidence to support the fact. And it looks like Bill interacted not just with Modoc, but the people extensively as well. Perhaps Bill wanted more attention back then, considering how it appeared he had the entire populace worshipping him. Ford had figured that Bill was more vain back then and learned to grow out of it.

Unless Bill thinks he's worshipped enough now especially considering the fact that he's on the dollar bill. Ford pauses. Is that why the dollar bill is named that, because of Bill? That can't be a coincidence...

Ford shakes his head. Focus! He goes back to skimming through the text, looking for any sign of what could be causing the barrier. So the people worshipped Bill, Bill gave great insights and helped the people flourish, yadda yadda. Then, some event happened that had the people turn their backs on Bill. The people left the land calling it cursed.

But why? In his notes Ford hadn't bothered to speculate, instead drawing a big question mark. He hadn't wanted to assume something and believe in something false at the time. But it appears to be that Ford came to speculate anyways. If what Bill said is to be believed then Modoc hadn't gone mad, and instead he and Bill had a huge falling out. And if Bill had a horrible temper back then, then it's not too suprising that these people turned their backs on Bill and left. It would be too easy to assume that Bill was a monster.

Having all these bits and pieces click together in his head helps paint a picture in Ford's head of how Bill used to be, how these people affected him, and how he's changed himself to appear less monstrous. Poor Bill, to be viewed as a monster when really he was a demigod trying to help the world. Ford finds himself relating on more than one level.

Wait, if Bill is a demigod and is used to people worshiping him, then what does that mean for Ford? Is he supposed to worship Bill too? He does have that room dedicated to Bill stuff he's found. Is that a type of worship? Does Bill even want Ford to worship him?

...

This is not the time to be thinking about this. Ford sighs and sets his journal down in his lap. He rubs at his face tiredly. This is what he gets for staying up for days at a time. He can barely concentrate on the topic at hand.

Okay, let's try again.

Ford picks back up his book and actually reads through the text, picking apart any little detail he possibly can. All throughout the history section he tries to find any detail that could possibly clue him into figuring out the barrier. But there's nothing. All that Ford can figure out is that the departure of the native populace was abrupt, leaving behind nearly everything. Any clue as to them setting up a barrier before or after then is just not there. Or maybe Ford would see it if he wasn't so tired.

Sighing, he puts the journal back down on the coffee table and picks up the second one. He knows that he probably won't find anything, but maybe there's some magical artifact or spell that can help.

As Ford skims over the second journal he can't help his mind from wandering. He thinks aimlessly about Bill and Modoc, wondering what could have caused them to fall out. It must have been Modoc's fault from how Bill put it. Although Bill most likely escalated it. It must have been a pretty bad argument. Especially considering all the warnings surrounding BIll's summoning ritual. Why he didn't just paint over the summoning ritual or destroy it is beyond Ford. Maybe he tried to but couldn't for some reason. Who knows? Ford certainly doesn't.

Maybe if he wrote those warnings in the cave maybe there's other stuff he did in the caves too. It's the best Ford could come up with.

Ford gives up on finding anything in the second journal and slips the book shut. Normally he wouldn't, but he's too tired to care. It's too bad that despite the coffee his terrible sleeping schedule finally caught up to him. Guess less than half a cup just isnt enough to undue like, what, three days of no sleep? Or was it four?

"Can't find anything either, huh?"

Ford sets the journal back onto the coffee table and looks over at Bill. He shakes his head no.

Bill let's out a frustrated groan. "Well, now what do we do?"

Ford is ready to sleep for 14 hours straight. "Maybe there's something I missed in the cave where I summoned you? Or maybe there's something up with the cave paintings in the caves behind Trembley Falls? I haven't looked at those too closely before."

"What? There aren't any caves behind Trembley Falls."

Ford blinked confusedly. "Yes, there are? I've been through them myself as a shortcut to get to the alien spaceship faster."

Bill looked incredulous. "Sixer, I think I'd know if there were caves back there. I know Gravity Falls like the back of my hand."

Thanks to exhaustion Ford finds himself getting frustrated. "I'm not lying Bill. Why would I lie about this?"

Bill studies his face. Then he hums. "If you're right, then maybe those caves really do hold the key to taking down the barrier."

"I am right." Ford crosses his arms.

A beat passes. "Alright, alright. I believe you Sixer. It's just odd cause I'm looking at it right now and I don't see anything."

Ford is confused for a moment. "Wh- oh. Your all-seeing eye?"

Bill hums a confirmation. He appears to be thinking, so Ford lets him.

"WELP," Bill claps his hands together, "this calls for a trip! Pack your bags, Sixer, we've got a cave to investigate!"

Ford pauses at the sudden change in attitude, but shrugs it off. It's not the first time his muse's mood changed on a dime. Ford gets up to go prepare his bags. He stretches out as he stands and can't help but yawn as he does so.

"Wait."

Ford turns to Bill to see him floating up close to him. Ford hums in confusion. Bill studies his face for a few seconds.

"When was..." Bill hesitates. "Actually, never mind. Don't worry about it." He pats Ford's cheek a couple of times.

Ford wonders what that was about, but decides to ignore it and moves to pack his camping gear again. It should take them around a couple hours to make it to the caves, considering if they don't take breaks. Ford yawns again. He pauses his packing to consider the fact that it's probably a terrible idea to go hiking when you haven't slept in three or four days. Maybe getting a nap in before they go would be a good idea.

Ford gets up and heads back to the living room. He's about to speak, but the words die in his throat as he sees Bill distracting himself by nervously fiddling with his bowtie. He has the most anxious expression on his face, more anxious than Ford had ever seen before.

Before Bill could notice Ford, he turned back around and went back to packing his bag. Ford would hike for days without rest if it meant his muse wouldn't have to deal with being trapped any longer than he already has. Ford's just going to have to pack a thermos of coffee too.

Ford finishes packing all the equipment (Flashlight? Check. Tactical knife? Check. Matches? Check.). Ford lugs his camping bag to the back door and sets it there. He heads for the kitchen and Bill follows him. All that Ford ha left to do is make some food and coffee for the trip.

Ford cleans out the coffee filter and then prepares to brew another pot of coffee. As Ford waits for the coffee he decides that a ham sandwich is simple enough to make for the trip. He pulls most of the ingredients from the fridge then turns around to see Bill watching.

Ford closes the fridge. "Is there something you need?"

Bill looks up from the meat and condiments in Ford's hands. "I don't need anything."

Ford goes back to preparing his sandwich. He pulls a bread loaf from the shelf.

"However, I do want to try some of that meat you have."

Ford felt surprised. "I didn't realize that demigods needed to eat."

"I don't need to eat anything. I just want to. It's fun to eat."

Interesting. Ford hands Bill a slice of ham. Bill takes it, blinks his mouth open and then shoves it inside. Sharp teeth chomp down on the meat.

Ford watches as Bill messily eats. "I didn't know you had teeth."

Bill speaks as he chews without sounding like he's speaking as he chews. "They're retractable! And I can see why you like this ham, but I think it'd taste better raw." He swallows. He blinks his eye back open and starts eyeing the rest of the ingredients.

Ford stifles a laugh, "Would you like me to make you a sandwich too?"

Bill glanced back and forth between Ford and the food. "Nnnnnnyes."

Ford laughs out loud this time. Bill seems a little miffed but doesn't say anything. Ford tried to send an apologetic look Bill's way, but the fact that he was still chuckling sort of ruined it.

Ford quickly assembles a sandwich and hands it to Bill. Bill's expression quickly went from annoyed to pleased. Bill grabs it and Ford smiles as his muse happily munches on his sandwich. Ford makes his own sandwiches and then wraps them in plastic wrap.

The coffee maker beeps out signaling that the coffee is done, just on time too. Ford grabs a thermos from the back of a cabinet and fills it with coffee. Ford doesn't bother with putting any milk in with it, wanting to fill the thermos to the brim with caffeine. Once the thermos is filled Ford caps it and sets it aside. Ford grabs a mug from the cabinet and pours out the rest of the coffee into it. He sets the pot back into its proper place. Ford grabs the mug and downs it, ignoring the bitter taste. Ah, caffeine, what a life saver. He sets the mug in the sink.

Ford grabs a few protein bars for snacking as well as a couple water bottles and decides that's enough for a round trip. Ford glances at the clock and is momentarily surprised to see that it's only eleven AM. What a long morning.

Bill floats on over, apparently done with his sandwich. "I'm ready to leave whenever you are."

Ford nods. "Just let me pack the food and water. Then we'll start hiking."

Ford carefully puts the sandwiches into a side pouch where they won't get crushed along with the snack bars. The thermos and waters are set into another pouch closer to Ford's hands for easy to reach access. Satisfied, Ford zips up the pouch and puts the backpack on.

Ford smiles at his muse. "Ready!"

Billed looks thrilled. "Great!"

Ford takes a quick look around to find F and sees him in the living room working on the patents. Ford calls out. "Hey, I'm leaving with Bill for Trembley Falls. We probably won't be back until near the end of the day."

F looks up from his work. He looks a bit hesitant but then tries to smile, though it comes out more as a grimace. "Have fun!" His smile drops. "Just be careful."

Ford frowns. "I know what I'm doing, F."

"I sure hope you do." His expression way too serious. Ford and F stare at each other, silence speaking louder than words.

"C'mon, Sixer, it's time to go!" Bill shakes his shoulder.

Ford glances at his muse, then looks back at F. "Goodbye, F."

"See ya later, Ford." F returns to the paperwork.

Ford turns around and heads for the back door. Bill follows as he opens the door and steps outside. Closing the door behind him, Ford takes a deep breath of the forest air. Surely fresh air and some good exercise will force Ford past his core exhaustion, right?

Ford turns to smile at his muse, but then ends up frowning as a thought strikes him. "Hey, what if we run into somebody again? What should I say to them about you?"

"Already thought of and considered, Sixer." Bill blinks at him (or was that a wink?), and then shrinks down to the size of a credit card. "Look," a ring attached to Bill's hat by a chain appears from... somewhere, "I'm a little keychain trinket!" He clips himself on a zipper on Ford's backpack. "Ta-da!"

Ford is a little stunned. "Woah. How did you do that?"

Bill wiggles his fingers. "Magic!"

Before Ford can ask for specifics Bill interrupts. "Onward, Sixer! Daylight won't last forever you know! Sun's gonna die someday! Better get going before it does!"

Ford considers the odd choice of words, before shrugging it off. He supposes Bill is right. Ford starts hiking.

"So what kind of magic did you use to turn yourself into a keychain? I'd love to know."

"Oh, you know. Just a simple modulator spell. Of course, typically you'd only use the modulator spell for simple things outside of yourself, like turning stone into gold. But when you have millions of years of practice like I do you can use the spell to alter your physical self without actually harming yourself!"

"Amazing! Does this mean that you can turn into anything?"

"Correct! I can turn into gold, sapphire, slate, a human, a fox, a unicorn, a farflaxion, basically anything you can think of and more! My imagination is my limit! And just between you and me, I haven't found a limit to my imagination yet."

Ford hums. "So, then why do you choose to look like a dapper triangle then?"

Bill's tone turns bright and cheerful. "What, you don't like it?"

"I never said I didn't like it, I'm just wondering why out of literally any image you chose this one."

Bill's tone turned back down. "I like my original face the most. This is when I'm at my most handsome."

"I see." Ford thinks that he's more cute then handsome, but it probably won't win him any brownie points if he mentions that out loud.

Bill asks a question of his own. "Would you change yourself if given the chance?"

Now that's something Ford's thought about before. How many times had he wished that he had five fingers on each of his hands like all the other kids? How often had he hid his hands in his pockets around new people? Just how much exactly did Ford dream of being normal?

But...

"No, I don't think I ever would. Who I am is so tightly connected to my physical self that I don't think I'd be able to stand being in a different body for very long."

"Exactly! As fun as shifting myself to whatever I want is, I'm most comfortable in my own face. Besides, it's just good branding."

Ford thinks of how common the symbol of a triangle with an eye in the center is and agrees with Bill.

"...And also, you're very handsome yourself, so it's good you don't want to change." Bill adds on.

Ford can't help smiling like an idiot at that. "You really think so?"

"Yes. And I'll have you know that my opinion is highly exalted, so be happy."

Ah, right. Bill is a demigod. Ford is already thrilled that his muse thinks he's handsome, but perhaps he should be even more appreciative of his opinions. Ford nods. "I am."

Bill hums happily. "Good."

Ford continues hiking to the lake in a comfortable silence. And it remains comfortable for about an hour and a half before Ford finally starts to feel completely and utterly exhausted. Half the thermos is empty already and Ford feels the bag weighing on him. He starts panting slightly. And- wait, what was that shadow out of the corner of his eye?

Ford comes to a stop. He looks in the direction the shadow went, but couldn't find anything. Was it the Hide Behind? Or maybe-

"What's the holdup?"

Ford startles a little and then calms down. He's forgotten about his muse for a split moment. "I- I thought I saw something. Over that way." Ford points in the direction the shadow went.

Bill is silent for a moment. "I don't see anything, Sixer."

"Are you sure? I know I saw something..."

"Stanford, are you doubting me?"

"I- I..." Ford stutters. He knows he saw something! Is it possible that whatever thing he saw is ever beyond Bill's sight? But Bill's a demigod. It's not like Ford is seeing things-

...

Oh. Right. Sleep deprivation causes hallucinations.

Ford sighs and rubs his face tiredly. "I'm sorry, Bill. I must be seeing things. Just my imagination." Ford slaps his face a couple of times and continues hiking. Ford ignores the thought that resting for a few minutes won't be so bad. He knows full well that falling for that temptation will just end with him sleeping on his feet.

Then, without warning, the weight of his pack disappears. Ford is momentarily confused and turns his head to see what happened to his bag.

It's still there. It just feels like he's not carrying it.

"There, that should make things easier, right?"

Ford blinks. A grin forms on his face as he realizes what his muse has done for him. "Yes, thank you, Bill. This more of your magic?"

"Yep, nothing to be impressed over. Just a levitation spell. Now, if you saw me levitate mountains, then you'd have a right to be impressed."

Ford nearly trips over his own feet. "Mountains? You can lift mountains?"

"More or less. Actually, more would be more accurate. I can lift more than mountains."

Ford is flabbergasted. "Bill, just how powerful are you?"

"Sixer, I'm a demigod. What do you think that even means?"

"I- I guess I never thought of the full extent of it." It's not like he's had time to truly puzzle over what it means to be a demigod.

"Let me give you a hint of my power. I'm strong enough to crush this planet like an ant hill, and I'm wearing protective gear so the ants literally have no chance of hurting me."

Ford's stunned into silence. Not just because he's finally grasping what Bill's power level really is, but because of the example provided. That's... a little grim. And scary.

Bill apparently catches onto Ford's thought process. Or maybe it's just a coincidence. "Of course, I have no interest in destroying the Earth."

"But, you could if you wanted to?"

Bill blows a raspberry. "Only idiots want to destroy planets. Like, how do you rule a planet when everything is dead? All you own then is a huge rock. That's not very impressive. Anybody could own a rock."

Ford considers this. "So, then you'd rather rule the Earth?"

"Uhh, we've been over this Sixer. You already know what I want."

"To usher in a new age of enlightenment." Ford quotes.

"Exactly! So enough of this nonsense. As much as I love nonsense, sometimes it's just not entertaining."

Ford ponders this and supposes Bill is right. He's been letting F's paranoia get to him. They're getting close to the lake anyways. He can tell by the humidity in the air.

Having no interest in interacting with the people, Ford sticks to the forest edge by the lake and makes his way to the waterfall.

Suddenly, there's a snag on his backpack, nearly making him fall backward. Ford takes a step back and starts to turn to see what caused the snag. It's odd, Ford was sure there was nothing to catch his backpack on?

The snag frees itself and has Ford stumbling under the sudden weight of his backpack for a brief moment. He gets his balance back without falling on his face, so that's good. Ford turns fully to see Bill floating there.

Ford's about to ask what the problem is when Bill lifts his hand and places it against what should have been the air, but instead a barrier shimmers out. Bill looks past the barrier to where the waterfall is. He scrunches his eye and then rubs at it making an annoyed noise.

"Another barrier?" Ford questions.

"Yes, and this one is giving me serious double-vision." Bill tries looking again but hastily closes his eye. "Ugh, my all-seeing eye is seeing one thing while my real eye sees another."

Ford looks back at the waterfall. "This is good then, right? That means we're probably on the right track?"

Bill keeps his eye closed. "I suppose you're right. I just wish I could have joined you the rest of the way."

Ford hums in disappointment. He'd have liked it if his muse was there with him as well. "Well, I guess I'll keep on going. Are you going to be alright out here by yourself?"

"Pfft, I'll be fine. You see?" Bill slowly fades out of sight brick by brick, turning invisible besides his eye. He blinks and he's gone from sight. It felt reminiscent of the Cheshire Cat. "Or, perhaps you can't. Ha!"

Ford is too awed to appreciate Bill's joke properly. It seems his muse never ceases to amaze him.

Ford moves a few steps around the position Bill was in last, trying to see if he could catch a glimpse of Bill. But no matter which way he shifts, Bill remains unseen. Ford reaches out with his hand carefully. When he stretched out his arm completely and came up with nothing he heard a laugh by his ear.

"As cute as this is, I'm gonna have to ask you to remain focused on your task, Sixer."

Ford blushes both out of embarrassment and at being called cute. He returns his arm to his side and turns to where he approximates Bill is. "Sorry. I'll do my best to figure this out."

Bill's voice sounds from behind him. "Good. I'll join up with you as soon as I can."

Ford startles and twists around to follow the sound of his muse's voice. Bill's laughs resounds around the entire wooded area, making it impossible to pinpoint where he is exactly. Ford looks around wildly and then stops bothering to try. He sighs. He calls out to his muse, wherever he is. "I'll see you then." Ford turns back to the waterfall and starts walking.

It's unfortunate that Bill couldn't join Ford, and not just because his pack is heavy. Bill is going to be leaving soon and Ford doesn't want what precious little time they have left together to be any shorter than it already is. For a moment Ford considers turning back around to talk with Bill some more, but shakes his head at the idea. Bill would probably just get upset with him for stalling his release.

Ford makes it to the small cliff's edge by the waterfall, nearly deafened by the water crashing down. Ford makes his way down the slope. Ford edges along the narrow path that leads straight behind the waterfall. The spray from the water makes him damp and the rocks slippery. Ford would hate to slip and fall under the pounding water. It's a good way to get bruises and also possibly drown.

Ford makes it past the waterfall thankfully bruise-free. The outside sun barely lights the area so he pulls out his flashlight. The stalagmites and stalactites cast shadows over the walls. He makes his way farther into the cave. After what happened the last time he came here he knows better than to bring that old lantern. And he brought matches too, just in case!

...Wait.

If Ford brought the flashlight instead of the lantern, then what could the matches be used for? Ford groans as he realizes he should have brought spare batteries instead. This is what he gets for not sleeping enough. Not thinking things through. At least if the batteries do go out he'll still have a source of light to guide him out of the cave. But the batteries shouldn't go out yet. Probably. So he'll be fine.

Ford shines the flashlight around in search of the cave paintings. Ford had always planned on taking a closer look at them eventually, but he hadn't imagined that he'd have to do it so soon. Or that he'd have to do it while the only thing keeping him awake was two-thirds of a thermos of coffee and sheer determination.

No matter how much Ford tries to push the thought out of his head, the fact that he's tired keeps worming its way back in somehow.

The thoughts thankfully drop from his head as he notices the cave paintings. Ford scouts them out, looking for any sign of some magic... something that could possibly set up a magic forcefield. That's another reason to wish that Bill was there. He'd definitely know what to look for more than Ford does.

Paying closer attention to the paintings, Ford could see they tell stories of fighting against dinosaur-like beasts and other weird creatures. Ford ignores them in favor of finding something about his muse. But the farther Ford explores the more he feels out of luck. There aren't even any triangles drawn anywhere.

It strikes Ford as weird that a culture so thoroughly entrenched in his muse's image suddenly has nothing to do with him. No details of the fight between them and Bill. Not even any vague hints anywhere. Just paintings of creatures hunted, great battles fought, and other assets of their culture that have nothing to do with Bill!

Normally Ford would be ecstatic to see these drawings, but all that Ford is running on is several days of no sleep and caffeine. Forgive him if he's absolutely frustrated right now.

Ford has no idea how long he's been searching for any sign of a magic whatever it is he's supposed to be finding. Ten minutes? An hour? Time feels like a blur right now and Ford can't waste time concentrating on it. His muse is counting on him. He can't disappoint Bill.

Ford reaches a ladder going up and sighs. Looks like he's going to have to climb up and deeper into the mountain. Ford shoves the flashlight into his mouth, the stalagmites creating weird oblong shadows along the walls. Ford climbs a few rungs before slowly realizing that shadows shouldn't work like that. He pauses and looks back in the direction of the stalagmites. From his new height looking down Ford can see that he was right. The oblong shadow Ford had seen before actually appeared to be an entrance to another pathway. Ford climbs back down and takes the flashlight out of his mouth. He heads towards the passageway.

It's no wonder Ford never noticed it before. The shadows cover the small entrance causing them to blend into each other.

Ford walks past the stalagmites and goes through the entrance. The passageway is smaller than the other path, narrow enough that only one person can walk through it at a time. Ford actually needs to crouch a little as he makes his way through.

Ford can feel that this is it. Surely he's found exactly what he's looking for. Why else would this long-winded tunnel exist? Ford can momentarily forget his exhaustion as curiosity takes over.

What will he find? Will it be a magic rock? Or perhaps an amulet of some sort? Runes? An old hermit with ancient knowledge passed down from generation to generation willing to answer all of Ford's questions?

Probably not that last one.

But still!

Ford sees the end of the tunnel and starts moving a little faster to finally get an answer to his question.

The exit opens up to a cavern. Ford shines his flashlight around the room and feels a bit stunned. Nearly the entirety of the cavern walls are covered in triangles with their eyes x'd out in red paint. At least now Ford knows where the history of Bill and Modoc is.

Looking at the paintings, Ford sees what appears to be an entire settlement caught on fire with Bill at the epicenter, his eye x'd out just like all the other drawings of him. Instead of worshipping Bill like in all the other art the people were running away. Below him was a man who appeared to be the shaman Modoc, his eyes slits like when Bill possesses somebody. He was grinning widely, too wide to be considered human.

Ford frowns. Bill wouldn't literally burn down an entire human settlement. The whole image is probably a metaphor for how the relationship between Bill and the native populace burned down to the ground.

Ford explores farther into the cavern. As his flashlight flashes across the farthest wall Ford has to do a double take. A large circle of painted runes covered nearly the entire wall. Ford hasn't studied magic enough to know what all the strange symbols stand for, but it's obviously magical in nature. The design was complex, far more intricate than any other rune circle he's ever seen.

Surrounding the rune wheel are ancient texts that Ford can read easily enough. They speak of warnings of a beast with one eye, how unraveling these magical inscriptions will cause the end of the world.

Ford hesitates.

He lets himself think things over again. These warnings were similar to the ones that surrounded Bill's summoning ritual, although more desperate in tone. Bill had said he was on bad terms with Modoc, so Ford guesses that Modoc has painted these words. If these words were to be believed in, then...

Ford glanced back over at the painting of the burning settlement. Ford remembers how earlier today when Bill got mad he looked ready to destroy something. And if his temper was even worse back then, could he have actually burned the native people's home to the ground?

And earlier Bill didn't actually tell him why he was on bad terms with Modoc. Had he dodged the question by taking advantage of Ford's feelings?

Ford snaps out of his thoughts and shakes his head. How could he possibly doubt his muse like that? After everything he's done for him, all these doubts are starting to make Ford feel guilty. Especially considering the fact that his muse felt vulnerable enough to cry in front of him. Ford's never seen Bill cry before.

Ford steels himself in his resolve that Bill is good. If Bill wasn't as good at controlling his anger back then of course things could get heated between his muse and the shaman, especially if the man did... something to make Bill furious. There's no doubt that Modoc could easily misconstrue Bill as some sort of beast.

Besides, even if Bill was worse back then he's definitely improved since then. Bill would never cause the end of the world. He wants to help the same way Ford wants to help. Ford nods to himself.

Everything is a huge misunderstanding.

Ford walks over to the magic runes and pauses. How does one destroy a magic circle? Looking around the room, Ford tries to find some clue as to what to do. The writing on the wall basically only says 'Please don't destroy this.' so that's a bust. The x'd out triangles on the walls make no sense to Ford. Why would Modoc do such a thing? Is it another metaphor? Ugh, Ford's too tired to try to figure this out.

Ford looks back to the runes. They are just painted on the walls, right? Ford takes off his backpack and starts digging through it. He finds what he's looking for and pulls out his tactical knife. It should be simple enough to just scrape the paint off the walls.

Ford takes the knife and rakes it across the runes. The paint gives way just like Ford expected. He smiles and continues his work.

It's tedious work, especially since Ford has no idea how much of the runes he has to scrape off for it to become ineffective. It'll all be worth it though. He thinks of how happy Bill would be to know that he's no longer trapped. How thrilled Bill's expression will be. About how he'll be able to sleep once this is all over.

Ford loses himself in the repetitious movements, so much so that he barely registers how the room subtly glows brighter. Confused, Ford turns to find the source of the light. Before he can figure anything out he's suddenly lifted up. He's startled into letting go of both his flashlight and the knife. He's spun around and by the time Ford registers that it's Bill his face is being peppered in kisses.

"You did it, Sixer! I'm no longer trapped!" Bill laughs joyously. "You've done an excellent job!"

Before Ford could get too dizzy Bill stops spinning him around and sets him back on his feet. Ford smiles, getting swept up in his muse's happiness.

Bill shifts his attention from Ford to the now deactivated runes and frowns a little bit. "I never thought the guy would go so far to keep me out of this world." Bill stares a little longer before decisively snapping his fingers. Ford watches as the paint melts off the cavern walls.

"There we go! Now we won't have to worry about anybody fixing that barrier. Gather your stuff Fordsie, we're heading home."

Ford feels relief flood his system. Although he hates the idea of his muse leaving for so long, he's ready to pass out. He picks his knife and flashlight from the floor and packs his knife back into the bag. He puts his backpack back on which immediately loses all weight. Ford casts a thankful look towards his muse.

They both head towards the passageway, though the triangles on the walls catch Ford's eye again. All of the paint that x'd out the eyes were gone. Ford blinks, then guesses that must have melted off that paint as well. It's weird, the longer Ford looks at the triangles, the more he feels like he's being watched right back.

"C'mon Fordsie," Bill grabs his hand, "I think you've earned a well-deserved break."

Bill leads Ford through the passageway. Ford yawns. Yeah, Ford does deserve a break. He can't wait to get back to his comfortable bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me who would gladly shapeshift into anything and everything if given the chance while writing about Stanford not wanting to change his body: This is how normal people think, right? They've accepted who they are and wouldn't change because if they did that'd be changing who they are as a person? That's how this works, right???


	4. Ford finally gets to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, but I ended up going back and changing the words of the deal that Bill offers. Nothing too big, just a small change from "for me to do everything in my power to make you be happy for the rest of your life" to "you'll allow me to do everything in my power to make you be happy for the rest of your life".  
> It flows better. And also *cough cough* takes care of a plot hole *cough hack wheeze*. Whew, dodged that bullet.  
> Anyways, hope y'all enjoy the chapter!!

As Ford hikes back home Bill is completely thrilled. The barriers are down and it's so very freeing! Bill would sing praises to Fordsie for hours if he didn't want to look weak. Bill would hate for Sixer to think that he was dependent on him or worse, think that Bill was incapable of taking care of himself. Sixer may have been useful, but that doesn't mean that Bill is useless. Bill's sure that if he actually tried he could have taken down the barrier himself without Ford's help. He just didn't want to.

  
...Actually, now that Bill thinks of it, he practically did take care of everything himself. He used Sixer to take the barriers down for him. 

...

The way that's phrased sits uncomfortably in his guts. He expected to be proud of himself for that, but instead that weird bad feeling comes back. 

Before Bill can think too deeply about it he's jumbled out of his thoughts as Sixer stumbles. 

"You alright there, Sixer?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit tired."

Ha, just a bit tired. Sixer certainly does try to downplay when he feels bad, doesn't he? Normally he would be happy that somebody wasn't bothering him with their asinine problems, but seeing Sixer struggle is just not entertaining for some reason. 

Sixer stumbles again. If this keeps happening then eventually Sixer's gonna collapse. Bill hasn't got all the time in the universe to wait around while Sixer takes a nap in the dirt. Well, technically he does, but that's not that important right now. What's important is that Bill doesn't want to wait. 

More than anything he wants Sixer to rely on him, so thinking it a dozen times over he decides to do something he's 17% sure he'll regret. It can't be more humiliating than being discovered as a keychain though. Bill takes careful consideration of their surroundings. Satisfied in knowing that nobody is around them within viewing distance he unclips himself from Sixer's backpack. 

"Sixer, wait."

Sixer stops walking and turns towards Bill curiously. He sways a little on his feet and the bags under his eyes really do his face no justice. Ah, maybe Bill should have forced him to sleep first like he originally wanted to. 

Too late now, but at least Bill can give Sixer a break he deserves. 

Bill snaps his fingers for dramatic effect as he literally works his magic, turning back to his true form. The confusion on Sixer's face is absolutely hilarious. Bill heads over to him and without announcement picks him up bridal style. 

"Wh- Bill! What are you doing?"

"Relax Sixer, you're asleep on your feet. I'm carrying you home."

"Huh, but, oh there's no need to do that. I'm perfectly capable-"

Bill rolls his eye. "Oh please. Don't try to lie to me. I can sense the way your body regulates itself and it's obvious by the way your heart's beating right now that you aren't telling the truth."

Sixer's a bit quiet at that. Then he mumbles, "Still, you don't have to do this."

Bill scoffs. "Of course I don't have to. I don't have to do anything if I didn't want to." Bill looks directly into Sixer's eyes. "I want to do this."

Sixer blushes adorably. He looks away. "...Okay."

Bill smiles. "Good!" He heads for Sixer's home. 

Sixer must have been reeeeally tired to have given up so soon. Typically he's far more stubborn. If he wasn't so tired he probably would have refused to be carried at all. 

_Lucky!_ Bill thinks as he tucks Fordsie closer to him. 

Sixer appears to be comfortable enough considering the fact he's finally closed his eyes and is resting. Bill pays close attention to his slowing heart rate. If Sixer keeps acting like an insomniac then it's going to eventually affect his heart. Sixer doesn't need the added stress and get that heart attack earlier in his life. 

Well, now that the portal is finished there's no need to push him to stay awake. And once the party gets started he'll have plenty of time to sleep in his bubble. 

Bill follows the trodden path home, occasionally slipping deeper into the forest to avoid some random human hiking. Bill supposes he could have transformed his shape into a more human looking one, but there's no way Bill'd ever be caught dead doing that. For one, it'd sacrifice his good looks, and two, just, like, ew. It's one thing to be wearing a meat sack and another to be the meat sack. Certainly, his current form is also made of meat, but that's different. 

Bill would have startled if he wasn't paying close attention when Sixer lets out a huge snore. Aww, it's such a human thing to do. Though, it is significantly less cute when Sixer starts to drool on his bricks. Gross. 

It's not enough for Bill to push him away though. 

Bill admirably and laudably endures being drooled as he continues his journey to Sixer's house. 

Sixer snores again. Ah, his human really is too cute! Bill grows a third arm and gently pets Sixer's hair. Sixer lets out a contented sigh in his sleep. Honestly, could Fordsie get any cuter? How did he get so cute anyway? Typically humans are garbage, but Sixer is like a gold bar. Very precious. 

Fordsie cuddles in closer and mumbles incoherently under his breath. Bill feels his heart squeeze at that. Even in his sleep Fordsie trusts him. That bad weird feeling comes back stronger than Bill's ever felt it before. It's so odd! What is it? Bill hasn't felt this feeling before... or maybe he has? Maybe once? But when? Bill swears that it's tickling the edge of his brain. Something... something to do with... something. Wow, is it aggravating to not know. 

Sixer tenses in his grip and Bill is startled to realize that he started gripping him too tightly. He loosens his hold and Fordsie relaxes once more. Bill feels bad that he accidentally hurt Fordsie, even just a little bit. Such a weird experience to feel bad because of somebody else and not want to obliterate them. Sixer is so fragile, he should stop being so fragile, otherwise Bill could hurt him again. 

...Or perhaps Bill should be more careful. 

The sky is starting to turn orange but the time Bill makes it back to Sixer's house. He telekinetically opens the back door and heads inside. 

Bill hears Glasses call out from the living room as he closes the door, "Welcome home Ford, how was the trip? Did you manage to take down that barrier?"

"Sixer's out of commission right now. He'll talk with you later." Bill doesn't bother to stick around and heads straight to Sixer's bedroom. 

A scramble sounds from the living room. "Out of commission?" Rushing steps sound behind Bill. "Is he hurt? What happened?"

Bill faces Glasses, though he doesn't bother to stop heading for the room. "Relax, Glasses. Sixer's fine, just finally catching up on some z's." 

Glasses sighs out in relief. "Oh, thank the heavens."

Bill rolls his eye at that comment. Yeah, thank the heavens when it was Bill who was generous enough to let Sixer sleep on the way home. 

Bill opens Sixer's door and goes inside. Compared to the living room Sixer's room is surprisingly tidy, except for his desk, Bill notes. Papers are strewn across it seemingly randomly along with stacks of books sitting precariously close to the edge. 

Bill floats over to Sixer's bed and moves the covers. He gently lays Fordsie down and moves the covers so that Sixer is comfortably under them. 

"You forgot to remove his shoes." Glasses says in a hushed tone. "Also I don't how comfortable he'll be sleeping in his trenchcoat."

Oh yeah, Bill forgot that humans have weird traditions when it comes to sleep. Bill snaps his fingers and Sixer's work clothes are replaced with special sleeping clothes. The work clothes appear folded up on Sixer's desk chair, the third journal he carries with him nearly all the time set on top of the mess of papers on his desk. There, Sixer will get some good rest. 

Now then... what now?

Bill's first instinct is to start heading for Shooting Star and Pine Tree, but Bill can't just leave without saying a proper goodbye to Sixer. It'd be rude to do so. But Bill doesn't like the idea of waiting for him to wake up, so invading his dreams it is.

Bill ditches his physical body and prepares to descend into Sixer's dreamscape.

"Huh, wh- what are you-?"

Bill ignores Glasses' sputtering and enters Sixer's dreams.

Bill blinks and takes in the scene. 

The outside air is slightly humid and the sun shines brightly through the clouds in the sky. The ground is broken up into several floating islands, each sporting a different array of flowers. They peacefully glide among the clouds, all seeming to orbit around the center island where Bill spots Sixer and a dream Bill enjoying a picnic together. They're feeding each other strawberry cake. 

Aww, how cute! This landscape actually reminds Bill of a dimension where the land is enriched with so much magic it floats much like in this dream. Who knows, maybe once the party gets rolling Bill can manipulate Sixer's bubble so that way it'll recreate this dream. It should be simple enough, they'll just "go through" the portal and end up in the recreation of that dimension. Easy-peasy. 

Bill watches closely, wanting to take in every detail to see what Sixer would want out of a date like this. The Dream Bill laughs at something Sixer said and leans in closer to him. Dream Bill puts his hand on Sixer's chest and says something to him, who blushes deeply. Perhaps Bill should get in closer to hear what's being said. 

Bill moves in, sticking behind an island covered in black dahlias. It's the closest he can get without giving away his position, but before Bill can tell what's being said the clouds suddenly become thicker, blocking out the sun. The flowers wilt within seconds and the dream turns gray. Looks like the dream is turning into a nightmare.

Bill turns his attention back to Sixer and sees him turn deathly pale. His hand is on his throat like he's choking. He looks scared, and not just scared in general, but scared of the Dream Bill who keeps edging closer and closer to him. Sixer backs up every time Dream Bill gets closer. Dream Bill grows larger, soon towering over Sixer. Bill doesn't need to come any closer to hear what Dream Bill is saying. 

"-such a FOOL, Sixer! Why would you ever think I wasn't using you?"

Oh. There's no way that Sixer could have figured that out, right? 

Before Bill could think too deeply about that, Sixer ended up backing up so much that he ends up going over the edge of the island, falling into a deep void of nothingness. Dream Bill's laugh resonates loudly throughout the entire dream and- 

Okay, enough's enough. 

Bill rushes over to where Sixer's falling and grabs his hand. Sixer looks shocked. Bill tightens his hold on Sixer and floats him back up onto the island. Once Sixer reaches solid ground again he collapses onto his knees and starts coughing. Bill rubs his back and searches for whatever is causing his boyfriend to choke. Ah, its the cake. Looks like it was poisoned. With one firm slap onto Sixers back, he hacks up the poison cake, which comes out looking like a black deadly ooze. Bill doesn't hesitate to pick it up telekinetically and toss it over the edge. 

"WHO ARE YOU?" Dream Bill screams, turning an angry red. His hands light with blue fire. 

Bill is unfazed. "I'm more real than you'll ever be." He snaps his fingers and Dream Bill is bathed in blue flames. Dream Bill screams out and desperately tries to put out the flames, but to no effect. Within a few moments, Dream Bill crumples into ash. Good riddance. 

Sixer struggles to catch his breath for a minute. Bill gently rubs his back. "Well, that certainly was quite the nightmare. Next time I think you should not trust an imposter."

"Bill", Sixer wheezes, "I- what just happened?"

"There was an evil Bill who fed you poison cake. You fell over the edge. I saved you!"

"No, I mean I don't-" Sixer coughs, "Are you real?"

Bill snorts. "Of course I'm real. Would the real me practically push you over the edge of a cliff?" 

Sixer still looks confused. 

"The answer to that question is no, Sixer. You know what? Lets ditch this scene. Something tells me it's not quite as whimsical and wonderous now as it was before you got poisoned." Bill claps his hands and the area around them shifts until it turns into Sixer's mindscape. Bill sets them both into their usual comfy chairs and produces a calming tea for them both to drink. 

Sixer looks around and a realization hits him. "Oh, I'm sleeping." 

"Bingo." Bill pours him a cup of tea. "Drink this, it'll help you relax."

Sixer looks skeptically at the tea for a brief second before looking a bit sheepish and taking a sip. He relaxes into his chair. 

"Thanks for saving me from that nightmare." Sixer says earnestly. 

"Of course." Bill pours tea for himself. He takes a sip. "But you know, dreams speak of subconscious desires and ideas. I want to know why you view me as something to be scared of."

He flinches. "Ah, its nothing really-" 

So Sixer is aware on a conscious level why he's afraid of Bill. 

"-I mean its just a dream, right? So surely there's nothing to-"

"Stanford."

Sixer quiets.

"We've been over this. Just tell me the truth."

Sixer fidgets with his cup of tea, looking anywhere except at Bill. He takes a sip to buy himself time. Bill lets him. The tea will calm him down anyways. 

Sixer takes a deep breath. "It's just, there were warnings about you surrounding both your summoning ritual and the runes holding you in Gravity Falls. and I guess F's paranoid thinking got to me because I started wondering if maybe perhaps it's possible that those writings had some merit?" As Sixer spoke his voice pitched up, his statement sounding more like a question. 

Ah, so that's where the problem is. There's a simple enough solution. 

"Sixer, don't you trust me?" 

He flinches again. "I- I do! It's just that-"

Bill sets aside his tea and gets out of his chair. "Relationships are built on trust, right? So why don't you trust me?" That bad feeling comes back again. Bill ignores it. He NEEDS Sixer to trust him.

Sixer hunches over in his chair, his tea left to the side and forgotten at the moment. "It's not that I don't trust you, it's just sometimes these thoughts pop into my head without my say so!"

Bill floats closer to Sixer and takes his face into his hands. "Sixer, I can assure you that you can trust me." He looks deep into Sixer's assurance-seeking eyes and ignores the stabbing in his chest. "I'm not going to betray you or hurt you in any way. I swear to you that I just want what's best for this world. Would I ever lie to you?" Bill doesn't understand why it hurts to say these words. He's lied thousands of times without any issues. Why does it hurt?

Whatever conviction Sixer was looking for seemed to have satisfied him. "No, you wouldn't lie to me."

Bill smiles despite the pain and pushes it to the back of his mind. "Good! I'm glad we've come to an understanding then." He kisses Sixer's nose. "Now then, the real reason I'm here is to say a proper goodbye."

Sixer looks upset. "You're leaving so soon?" 

Ah, what Bill would do to wipe that look off his face. But Bill holds fast. His friends back in the Nightmare Realm are counting on him. He can't just ignore them. The sooner Bill gets moving the sooner things can fall into place as they should. Bill lets go of his face. "Unfortunately yes. But don't worry, I'll be back soon enough." Bill pauses as an idea comes to him."Hey, why don't you plan out a romantic date for the both of us while I'm gone?"

Fordsie perks up at that. "That sounds like a great idea!" He starts muttering to himself, already it seems he's overrun with ideas. 

Bill chuckles. "I'm looking forward to it."

Sixer stops his muttering. "I'll be certain to impress you!"

"There was never a doubt in my mind that you wouldn't." Bill moves to take his leave, certain to make sure that the dreams Sixer is left with are as sweet as he is. 

"Wait, before you go,"

Bill turns back to Sixer.

He looks a bit shy. "...Could I get a goodbye hug?"

How could Bill possibly say no? He returns to Sixer and scoops him up without saying anything. He hugs him tightly to his form. Fordsie hugs him back as enthusiastically as Bill does.

The weird bad feeling comes back full force for some reason despite Bill very firmly repressing it. It hurts and it's not even fun. Bill pushes the feeling back with all his mental strength and locks it up ~~just like he did when he-~~

Bill loosens his hug and Sixer takes the hint and lets go. Bill doesn't have time to deal with stupid emotions. "I'll see you later, Sixer."

Sixer looks a bit sad. "I'll see you then, Bill."

Bill gives Sixer one last smile and leaves. 

Bill easily returns to the waking world. Looking around Bill spots Glasses crouching in front of his body, poking at it uncertainly. 

Bill knows a great opportunity when he sees one. 

Bill enters his body. "Boo."

"AAA!" Glasses startles and launches himself back a couple of feet. He lands on his rear, clutching at his heart. He wheezes a couple of times. "Don't- don't do that!" 

Bill floats back up to his usual height. He whispers in sing-song, "Shouldn't yell when Fordsie's sleeping!" 

"Well, that's- I-" Glasses catches his breath and starts whispering. "Did you really need to go and scare me like that?"

"Yes."

"Wha- why?"

"Because it's hilarious?" Honestly, what is there not to get?

Glasses looks bewildered for half a second before turning indignant. Oh boy. "Didn't your parents teach you any manners?"

...And there goes Bill's good mood. "The only thing my parents taught me was how to walk a straight line. They were fools." Before he lets Glasses respond he floats past him and out of the room. Bill has got people to meet, deals to make. 

"Wait- hey!" Glasses quietly scrambles to his feet and follows him. Figures. "I'm not done talking to you!"

Bill still has yet to make a deal with him, so it's not like Bill can act like a bad friend and brush him off. "Then let's walk and talk."

Glasses catches up and walks beside him. He speaks at a normal volume now that they're outside of Sixer's room. "Listen, I'll get right to the point. I don't think I trust you." 

Hmm, well that certainly throws a wrench in Bill's plans. "Can I ask why?"

"Well, for one, I don't get you! You're some crazy powerful being from a weirdness dimension and you're going around making deals with your zodiac to be friends and I don't get why. And there's the barrier that was up that specifically kept you prisoner." ~~Bill internally winces at the choice of words~~ Bill is unaffected by the choice of words. "Why do you gotta make deals to be friends with everybody anyways? It just doesn't make sense to me."

"If you heard me earlier, you would know I make the deals so that way my zodiac knows that I'm friendly."

"But why specifically do you have to make deals? Why not just have a friendly chat instead? Why make yourself known to the zodiac at all? I didn't know a single thing and now I know how to obliterate you apparently!"

Bill's starting to see what Sixer meant by saying Glasses' paranoia must be getting to him. How does a man function with so much anxiety? "One way or another the zodiac always figures out they're the zodiac once I come into their world. That's just how the prophecy goes." Bill shrugs. "It's better for me to introduce myself as a friendly presence to them rather than them figuring out some other way that they're part of the zodiac. And as for why I make deals instead of talking, that just isn't the case at all! I make talk as well as make deals. Deals involve words, you know. And the reason I make deals is that this is how I compromise with people. People can be awfully selfish, so making magically binding contracts just makes my life easier. You can't break a deal. Literally. So making deals is just insurance for me that people keep to their word. 

The contract is simple. The zodiac becomes my friends in exchange for allowing me to do everything in my power to make them happy."

Glasses looked on in horror. "Does that mean that the deal manipulates our emotions?"

"Not at all. Deals don't manipulate emotions, it just forces you to uphold your end of the deal. You could hate my guts and still be friends with me."

Glasses is silent for a moment. "Well then, why not just make the contract so that way in exchange for being friends with the zodiac they be friends back?"

Glasses is sharp. Bill is so grateful that Sixer is not. As much as Bill can admit that the man is a genius, he's also a complete sap, letting his emotions get the best of him rather than using his logic. "Because then we'd be forced to hang out with each other and what if we don't get along? Just between you and me, Question Mark is a complete sleazebag and I have no interest in being his friend. With the contract worded the way it is it allows us not to interact any more than is absolutely necessary. They be friendly like friends, I help them be happy. No forced interaction under the guise of being friends. Simple, easy, clean."

Glasses ponders this for a moment. Bill opens the back door outside and heads out. Glasses just barely realizes that Bill's moving outside and follows him, closing the door behind him. "But what about that barrier? Why was that there?"

"You had it right the first time, it was to keep me trapped in Gravity Falls." Glasses looks a bit stunned that Bill would admit this. "You see, long ago I was worshipped by an ancient civilization of humans. A shaman named Modoc was my vessel in which I spread my wisdom. Those people flourished because of me.

But one day Modoc and I came to a disagreement. The fight escalated to the point that Modoc enraged me so much that I ended up doing and saying some things that I regret. Modoc unfortunately came to view me as a monster due to my behavior. I was viewed as a god only to be turned into a demon practically overnight."

"Wh- a god?"

Bill stares at Glasses. "You know, it's rude to interrupt."

Glasses at least had the decency to look sheepish. "Sorry."

Bill continues. "Modoc never listened to me again, despite my constant apologies. He even went so far as to usher his people out of Gravity Falls. And apparently he also somehow put up that barrier up across all of Gravity Falls."

Glasses looked curious and edging on sympathetic. Ha, it's true what they say, the best lies have a little truth to 'em. Well, in this case there was a lot of truth to it, just some emotions twisted to make him look like he's learned some lessons and a lot of details of torture not included. 

"What did you disagree about?"

"To tell the truth, we were also building a portal from my dimension to Gravity Falls then. We came to a huge fallout when the portal turned out to be a bust. You see, Modoc become very disparaged at his failure. His chance to meet his god in person was seemingly impossible. I had tried to reassure him, but it was all for naught. 

"I may have grown frustrated with him and his depression. At the time I didn't know as much about humans as I do now and I kept pushing him to snap out of it. I pushed him far too hard though and he snapped all right. He got angry with me and it escalated into an argument between us. I was not as good at controlling my anger back then as I am now, so I was absolutely frustrated. I was his god and he was fighting with me. I had thought he didn't view me as his god anymore, so I may have-" Bill forces himself to wince, "threatened to leave him and his people behind. I was expecting him to beg for my forgiveness, but instead, he just got angrier. It absolutely baffled me at the time.

"So he thought his god was leaving him behind so he began cursing at me! Do you have any idea how disgraceful it is for a god to be cursed at is? I became livid. If he was going to curse at me I would curse him back. So then I sorta cursed the lands so that the land wouldn't bear crops?"

Glasses frowns at that. "You actually cursed the land? That's a terrible thing to do!"

Bill grabs at where his forehead would be if he was human. "I know! I know it was terrible. I was just so angry at the time and I didn't know how to deal with it other than lashing out. I regret it so much now! I wish I had the methods of dealing with my anger back then as I do now, but I didn't! So I just did something stupid and ruined my relationship with the entire population! Modoc just hated me more and more and by the time I realized my mistake it was too late and I could never get Modoc to believe me when I said I was sorry and that I fixed the land back to its prosperous state, especially when I ended up hurting his people like that." 

Bill sighs. "So Modoc took his people away from the land and called it cursed. That's how it happened."

Glasses has a considering look on his face. "How do I know you're not lying about all this?"

The lie comes easily enough. "Oh, gods can't lie." 

Glasses blinks. "Really?"

"Yeah, don't you know that lying is sinful? So gods can't lie." Sin is also a human construct that doesn't actually exist in the real world. It's like money. Completely worthless, but very good for manipulating others. 

"Huh." Glasses considers everything. "So... you're a god?" 

"Demigod is more accurate, but sure." Actually, maybe what Bill just said is true. Maybe actual gods can't lie. Bill has no idea, he's just making crap up as he goes along. 

Glasses looks like he's assessing him. "Well, don't expect me to start worshipping or praying to you or whatever."

Disappointing. "I never expected you to. You're part of my zodiac, I expect to be your friend, not your god." 

"Well, I still need to think it over. It's awful of you to starve the people over one person you had an argument with."

Bill resists the urge to roll his eye. He knew he should have painted himself in a better light, but then it wouldn't have matched up with the bull he'd been telling before as well. He does his best to sound as sorrowful as possible (And if Bill does say so himself, his best is literally the best out of anybody's acting. He's had several billions of years to practice after all.). "Yeah, I understand. I did hurt a lot of people after all. For what it's worth though I do truly regret it."

Glasses face softens a bit. "I can tell." He's silent for a moment. "I still need to think it over, but I'll let you know how I feel once I come back from visiting my family."

"That's all fine and good, I need to go seek out Pine Tree and Shooting Star anyways. I'll be gone for around a week."

"Right now?"

"Yep." Bill says, letting the p pop. 

"Well, I'll be gone by the time you come back. But how are you going to get out there without being seen? Unless you plan on being seen?"

"Nope, I'll get there like this!" 

Glasses watches a little disturbed as Bill fingers elongate and he starts growing feathers. A little slowly by Bill's definition, he turns bit by bit into a falcon. 

Glasses blinks. "Well that's... unexpected."

Bill smiles as much as a bird can, which quite frankly is impossible because their entires mouths are beaks. Bill doesn't care though and smiles anyways. It looks wrong. "I live to be the unexpected."

"It's weird to see a bird floating without using its wings."

Bill smiles even wider. "Thank you."

Glasses looks decidedly confused, but before he can ask anything Bill's speaking again. 

"This conversation has been lovely Glasses, but I have places to be, fish to fry so to speak. Remember I'm always watching! Byyyye!" With that Bill flaps his powerful wings, flying up into the air and takes off in the direction of New Jersey. 

There, that wasn't so hard. In fact, it was easy. Which begs the question why was it so hard to lie to Sixer? It doesn't make any sense. Bill typically likes weird, but even this is throwing him for a loop. 

Anyways, more likely than not Glasses will be sympathetic and side with Bill. He just needs to play the waiting game. And if Glasses still doesn't budge Bill can always toss in a couple of favors to win him over. Or maybe Bill could blackmail him over his little cult. Either way doesn't matter. 

As Bill reaches the edge of the town he can't help but tense up. He knows that the barrier is down, he checked himself by letting his magic spread out to the forcefield. He felt it when it went down. Still, Bill can't help but feel like he's about to run into an invisible wall. 

Bill reaches the edge and

nothing happens. 

Bill relaxes again. The barrier is down, Bill is free to come and go as he pleases, everything's on track. Bill smiles. 

The party's back on!


	5. Knock knock, who's there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome to the first of the revamped chapters! This chapter is mostly the same so don't worry about rereading the whole thing. The only difference is the dialogue at the end where Bill and Sixer exchange a deal. The deal has changed and it affects how Bill will be doing things, so I suggest skipping to the end and reading that bit. 
> 
> Thank you very much for your patience and I hope you enjoy!

Bill soars through the air as he makes his way back to Gravity Falls. Needless to say, getting Pine Tree and Shooting Star to become his friends was no trouble at all. Easy even.

And won't Sixer be so happy to learn that Bill even temporarily fixed Pine Tree's Alzheimers. It was a simple matter of brushing out the tangles of built-up proteins in her brain and bringing the dead brain cells back to life. That "miracle cure" Bill offered was more than enough to convince both Pine Tree and Shooting Star to become his friends.

It's too bad that Bill couldn't permanently fix Pine Tree though. He has little to no experience messing around with the DNA of humans and there's no time for experimentation. He'll have to mess around with humans once he and his crew take over. Bill refuses to not be 100% versed in how humans worked. It's simply a matter of pride that he actually cures Pine Tree.

But anyways, he got a good temporary solution to work. Bill estimates that she's got a decade before the dementia comes back. He's got plenty of time to figure out how to permanently fix her.

Of course, the first couple of years Bill'll have to dedicate it to his party. He'd be a terrible host if he didn't! But also he's gonna have to balance it with hanging out with Sixer. He can't just ditch him. It'd be boring without him. Hmm... perhaps Bill could split himself into two so that way he could do both at the same time! What an excellent idea!

...Although, putting himself at half concentration like that could invite trouble, even if trouble wasn't invited. Time Baby will definitely crash the party. Of course, Time Baby is a literal infant and therefore nothing to really worry about, but if he catches Bill at half concentration would Bill be able to easily kill him? Or perhaps more accurately, temporarily kill him until Bill can figure out how to permanently get rid of him?

...Maybe while Sixer is "accepting awards" or whatever in his bubble he'd be fine if Bill wasn't there all the time? But what kind of excuse could Bill come up with that Sixer would happily accept without thinking too hard about it?

Ptthbb. Sixer would accept nearly any excuse Bill gave. Bill could say he's off making peace with other gods in the universe. Or aliens. Alien gods? Ooo, Sixer'd love that excuse. Then Bill can be fully there in the moment when he kills Time Baby!

Bill's so in his own head that he nearly misses when Sixer's house comes into view.

Bill can figure out the details of his alien god excuse later, it's been too long since he's last seen his human! And Glasses should be out visiting his family which means it'll just be Bill and Sixer for nearly an entire week. Bill smiles. He's looking forward to that date Fordsie said he'd cook up! ❤

Bill flys down to the back door of the house and transforms from a falcon to his usual handsome self. He fiddles with his bowtie making certain that it's perfect. He opens the door.

"Fordsie, I'm home!"

High-pitched whines fill the air as several laser guns are trained on him.

Bill takes this in for half a second before slamming the door shut.

Crap, it's the cops!

And not just any cops.

Time cops.

Not good. The fuzz wasn't supposed to catch onto his escape just yet! How did they even figure it out? And more importantly, where was Sixer?

Bill quickly backs away from the house. He'll figure out a plan-

Several more high-pitched whines fill the air. Oh, come on!

Bill turns around to face where the sound came from to see more time cops along with the big fat baby himself. Jeez, for Time Baby to show up Bill must be in some deep shit.

One of Time Baby's mindless goons steps forward. "Bill Cipher, you are in violation of the rules of space-time." He droned.

Time Baby glares at Bill. "Cipher, you have illegally introduced an interdimensional portal into a time period where it was not yet meant to be discovered and have broken out of your life-long prison. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Looks like Bill's going to have to make things up as he goes along. Good thing he took all those improv classes.

"I say that I did a pretty good job. Or at least, it would have been a good job if you hadn't shown up and discovered my nefarious plans. How did you figure out I escaped anyways? I mean," Bill sticks his hand against his forehead dramatically, "I knew you were powerful and knowing, but to outwit me? That takes some talent."

Time baby smirks. "My magic has improved over the past eon, Cipher. Of course I could figure out where and, more importantly, when you escaped. Especially with nothing more than a measly concealment spell covering up the portal. It was more than easy to sense the concealment spell itself and find you that way."

Clever. Perhaps Bill doesn't give Time Baby enough credit. "Where's Stanford Pines?" Ugh, Bill stated that way too plainly. He should have thrown in some flair so that way-

"The same place you'll be going. The Infinetentiary." Oh. Well, that was easy enough to get him to answer. But, hmmf, now Bill's going to have to save Sixer? What a pain. "I grow bored of your questions. Surrender now or face my tantrum."

"Oh no, a tantrum. Whatever will I do about that," Bill thinks long and hard for half a second about what he should do. The answer is obvious. "HOW 'BOUT THIS?" He points a finger in Time Baby's direction, immediately firing off a bright blue laser. It shrieks through the air and as it comes into contact with it's intended target it creates a loud explosion. "BOOM!"

Bill sets up a reflective shield around him as several gasps ring out far too late to react. A couple of officers start firing shots at Bill, only for them to be reflected off in random directions. The officers dodge out of the way of the reflected shots and keep firing-

"CEASE YOUR FIRE."

The time police stop, looks of confusion cross their faces. The look back to see that the smoke the explosion had created finally cleared enough to show Time Baby unharmed.

Time Baby felt slightly confused. He could tell with a powerful attack like that Bill could have severely damaged him, or even killed him. But... "You missed."

If Bill had a mouth there'd be a shit-eating grin on his face. "Did I?"

Time Baby still looked confused.

"Take a look at your toys."

Time Baby glances down and to his horror the toys he has, or perhaps more accurately had, attached to his console were completely destroyed.

Bill laughs obnoxiously. "It's what you deserved, you stupid baby! What are you gonna do about it? Cry?" Bill's laughter fills the clearing.

Time Baby's face turns a bright red and tears build in his eyes. He points a chubby arm at Bill. "FIRE AT WILL."

Lasers start firing at him again. Bill, while still giggling, drops his shield and starts to dance. He bows to an invisible partner, dodging several shots at once. He steps forward and takes his partner in his arms and they perform a waltz. He spins with his invisible partner as several more bullets skim right by him.

Time Baby's face turns even redder and tears actually start to run down his face. Absolutely hilarious. "KEEP FIRING."

Bill switches positions with his partner and dips them, conveniently dodging a bullet. He pulls back up dodging another. He leads them gracefully through the air. Bill spins them out and then spins backward himself. The music in Bill's head changes to something more fun and effortlessly switches the dance from a waltz to a salsa. He rejoins with his invisible partner and spins around with them to the beat of the lasers firing at him.

Some of the time cops actually stop shooting and watch as Bill dances around. The ones who hadn't realized they were fighting a losing war kept firing.

Bill dances through the bullets, spinning his partner around, keeping up with an unspoken bet with himself that he wouldn't let his invisible partner get hit either. So far he's winning.

The firing eventually comes to a halt once everybody realizes that they were wasting their time. Time Baby looks extremely annoyed but doesn't shout at everybody to keep up the shots. They instead watch as Bill's dance comes to an end. He bows to the crowd and gets scattered applause.

The one goon who spoke before, presumedly the second in command, rolls his eyes and shoots at Bill again. This time, the shot actually hits.

Bill let's out an oof. There is no pain or blood, just a giant gaping hole in his side. He stumbles over his position in the air and starts to drop. He catches himself as he falls, now eye level with the time police. He holds at his side as he makes his way over to the second in command and grabs at the collar of his uniform.

"You really got to do in a guy... like this?" Bill pants, seemingly struggling to get the words out. His grip falters and his hands slide down from the collar to the man's arms. As Bill's arms tremble the second in command rolls his eyes at the theatrics. He's then surprised when Bill slips farther and suddenly he's holding the demigod in his arms.

"My only regret..." Bill forces out, "is that I... I never... got to say... how... stupid your face is. Uuuuugh." Bill's eye rolls back into his head and from the other side of his eye a large red x takes the pupils place, signaling his death.

The cop drops Bill onto the ground. Bill lands face first on to the grass. Internally he's laughing and congratulating himself on such a beautiful performance.

Bill feels somebody, probably the second in command (Bill's getting tired of referring to him by so many stupid terms. From now on the man's name is Bingo.), grab his arms and cuffs him. The world goes dark and Bill starts getting shocked mildly and constantly. Bill subtly tenses, but nobody seems to notice. Bill isn't blind, per se, but it certainly feels like it as his all-seeing eye no longer sees. Bill attempts to reach his sight further, attempts to reach the magic the world naturally accumulates and he uses as his own, but instead the electric shock grows stronger. Bill lets his magics go and the shock disappears. Interesting.

Bill continues to play dead as he's lifted by the arms and held like luggage. He hears whispers among the police, wondering if Bill's really dead or not. Bill thinks it's pretty obvious what the answer to that is. He guesses that these drones don't watch enough cartoons in the future.

Bingo stands straight and faces Time Baby. "What's the next step, sir?"

Time Baby sighs, clearly aware of and tired of Bill's antics. "We do what we set out to do. Send him to the Infinetentiary. We'll figure out a more permanent solution later. The rest of you keep working on dismantling that portal. I've got a nap to get to."

Bill jerks out of his death to react. "Wait wait wait, before we go, I have something I need to tell you!"

Time Baby hovers there, staring at Bill. He finally raises an eyebrow in question.

Bill pauses, making certain that Time Baby is listening. "Your face is dumb and I hate you."

Time Baby's face tenses up and it almost looks like he's going to cry again. Ha, stupid baby. "Send him away."

With that Bingo salutes Time Baby. Bill plays dead again. Just cause he's using the time police to get what he wants doesn't mean he will go willingly. Bingo loops his arm through Bill's arm loop and grabs a time device from his belt. He pulls out the measuring tape with clear practice and lets go.

Time travel always feels weird, much to Bill's delight. It left you feeling like your guts got set on fire. And sometimes you actually did get set on fire. Too bad that Bingo didn't catch fire this time around. The man needs to liven up a little. He's so booooring.

Then again he'd probably still be all super serious and just calmly pat the flames out. What a buzzkill.

Whatever. Now that Bill's in the correct time he'll just ditch Bingo and head to the Infinetentiary himself.

For an eighth of a moment Bill believes he'll overcome the cuffs with sheer magic power as he feels his magic crawl over his body, but as soon as Bill starts to try to use his magic it gets sucked out of him and he audibly gets shocked again. If Bill didn't have such a high pain tolerance he probably would have blacked out. The crackling electricity actually starts to make the gaping wound in his side hurt.

Bingo glances down at Bill and actually has the gall to smirk at him. How dare he? Bill is nothing to be laughed at. Acting before thinking, Bill tries to turn that smile upside-down, but before his magic could reach the man it again gets sucked back into the cuffs and shocks Bill again. Bill is far more annoyed than pained this time.

Bingo starts walking to the nearest teleporter. As he does so Bill starts contemplating his position and fights off the building panic. Panic will do nothing but make him look pathetic.

Bill concentrates his magic and leaves his own body. HA. Suckers didn't know he could do th-

...His arms are still stuck in the cuffs. Bill tries using magic, but it gets drained all the same and zaps his technical corpse. Well at least he won't get shocked while in this form and he can't die either, so that's comforting.

Bingo ignores Bill and marches his way into a teleporter. Bill ignores Bingo in return. He continues to experiment with the cuffs. It's a clever way of making certain that magic users won't be able to escape so easily. But if the theory that Bill is building is correct, then there's a fatal flaw that'll be key to Bill's escape.

Bill returns to his body and continues testing. It's easy enough to ignore the electricity, it's not the worst pain Bill's ever felt, so it means nothing to him. Bill feels how warm the cuffs have become and smiles. Things are finally in Bill's favor again.

There's an ever so slight delay in the cuffs absorbing his magic, so Bill takes advantage of that and starts applying his theory.

Bingo groans. "Have you really not figured out yet that your own magic is what's causing the electrical shocks? Just stop! It's annoying hearing you get zapped every other second..."

Bill looks directly into the man's eyes and magically tries to trip him, getting zapped once more. Bingo sighs as Bill laughs maniacally. If there's one thing Bill loves doing, it's upsetting somebody who thinks they're higher than him.

Bingo stops in front of some door with two guards in front of it. Looking around, Bill sees that they're in some hallway with lots of other doors too, though this door is the only one with guards stationed in front of it. There are a few other guards patrolling the hallway. Everything is stark white and is lit with an unknown light source. It's hideous.

"So, what's this?" Bill asks and is promptly ignored.

Bingo nods at the two other men (Bill already mentally calls them Ringo and Dingo despite their nametags which Bill definitely notices and decidedly ignores.). Ringo puts in a number password and the door opens.

Bill is literally tossed inside and lands on his face. Talk about disgraceful.

"Enjoy your new home." The door slams shut behind him. It then seamlessly merges with the wall, making it look like there was never a door in the first place.

Bill doesn't care who said that. Everybody has been very disrespectful so far. This is no way to treat a future ruler of all of existence.

Leveling his weight, Bill manages to use his legs to upheave himself from the ground and onto his feet. He overshoots by a small margin and stumbles a little, but nobody was around to see such a mistake so it doesn't matter. You try doing what he just did without the use of magic to calculate exactly how much force you need to accomplish such a task. The fact that he got it first try was impressive actually.

Bill easily gets his arms in front of him from his back due to the fact that his arms are nearly twice as long as his legs. He just steps backward over the cuffs.

Finally comfortable enough, Bill takes a look around the room and boy what a room it is. It sure is a room, and only a room. No furnishings, no bed, no toilet, nothing. Not even any paint on the walls. Just solid timetanium. What a wonderful cell.

Bill (he can't believe he has to do this) walks over to where the door used to be and sits down. It's been forever since he last walked. How long's it been? 10 billion, 15 billion years? Ever since he learned to channel the universe's energies he hasn't bothered to walk.

Enough reminiscing, Bill has work to do. He stares intently at his shackles. The design was clever, but if Bill was right, they weren't clever enough. It was a mistake for the guards to leave him with these on. Then again, the moment they would have taken the cuffs off he would have obliterated them. But still, it was a mistake in general to think that you could incapacitate Bill Cipher.

Bill starts channeling his magic to use a spell. He takes advantage of the milliseconds between when his magic is used and when the magic gets sucked into the cuffs, transmuting his body little by little so that it can absorb electricity adding to his energy.

It's long tedious work, transmutations like this typically take a couple of seconds or so so Bill has to literally cast this spell several hundreds of times. After several dozen microspells cast Bill starts to hyperfixate on his work and loses himself to the process. The longer he goes on the easier it becomes. Practice makes perfect after all.

He's snapped out of his concentration when a little flipper door opens right beside him and a plate of food is pushed into his room. Well, he says food, but really its a plate of vitamin-infused mush.

The little flipper door disappears into the wall much like the door did and Bill is left with an empty room and a plate of yuck. He stares disdainfully at the "food" before pointedly ignoring it and continuing his work.

After several hundred more transmutations the flipper door opens again and takes the "food" back. Bill doesn't have time for this.

Once more, Bill manages to lose himself in his work. He hardly takes in his surroundings, not that there's much to take in anyways. Bill becomes so proficient at what he's doing that he's figured out exactly how long to keep the magic spell up without shocking himself. For each second that passes Bill manages to activate the spell 3 times. Then 4. 5. 7. 10. 13 appears to be the limit. If Bill had access to the universe's magic he could easily surpass that pitiful number.

Bill isn't sure how long he sits there, how many minutes or how many hours pass him by. Heck, he could have been sitting there for days and he doubts he would have noticed. But finally, finally, after so long he's fully completed the transmutation spell. Bill stretches out his limbs and is surprised by how sluggish he feels. What's this feeling? It's almost like...

He's tired. Gross. An odd experience indeed, but not a welcome one. Being this close to mortality sucks.

Bill stretches out his fingers and cracks them. Time to get this show on the road.

Bill attempts a low-level spell, levitation, to see how he and the cuffs react. He floats lightly off the ground for a few milliseconds before the cuffs react. They suck in the magic and expel electricity into Bill just for him to reabsorb it back into his energy reserves. Perfect.

This time he ups the magic to a more powerful spell. The electric shock increased in proportion. The cuffs start to get warm. Bill pushes himself to channel more of his magic, stronger and faster. The cuffs get hotter and start to hum. Bill forces his magic to go even faster. The hum grows into a high-pitched whine and the cuffs start to burn his wrists. Bill ignores the pain, he came so far, there's no way Bill's stopping to transmute himself for who knows how much longer just because it hurts. The whine turns earsplitting and Bill ignores it.

The cuffs start to crack and a bright light shines from within them. Bill feels the universe's magic come back to him and reacts within microseconds. He transmutes his body to magically reinforced diamond.

The cuffs explode.

The wall he'd been leaning against blew out from the force as did the floor. Chunks of the ceiling collapse onto Bill and he's buried under the rubble. If Bill hadn't been made of solid diamond there wouldn't have been any body left to recover.

Bill forces his way through the bits and pieces of timetanium and breaks free. As Bill transforms his body back to normal he also takes the time to repair the hole in his side. It feels good to be whole again.

Bill looks around, surveying the damage. Only Bill's cell has been blown open. The alarm is already blaring so nice to know that he's going to have to be on his toes. But as long as those handcuffs aren't on him Bill's pretty free to do as he pleases so not even Time Baby himself should be any trouble. Bill looks around for Ringo and Dingo. He sees some guards on the other end of the hallway laying down on the floor. One's got a concussion and won't be standing up anytime soon. The other two are struggling to stand. Bill's curious to where Ringo and Dingo could have gone too when he hears a moan from under the rubble.

Oh, looks like they're under what appears to be a couple tons of timetanium. Bill considers their situation and then shrugs. Eh, Bill heard one of them, so that probably means they're both okay. He's sure they'll be fine under all that rubble. Besides, it's less trouble for Bill if he doesn't bother.

Looking down the hallway, Bill figures that Sixer must be in one of these cells. They did get arrested for nearly the same crimes after all. He mosies down the hall wondering which door to start with. The guards down the hall catch his attention again as they made it to their knees and were starting to pull out their walkie talkies.

The question becomes, does he knock them out, or kill them? Killing them would be easier, more efficient, and fun. But if Bill is right about Sixer being held here in one of these cells then surely he'd get an earful if he learns that Bill killed some randos. But Bill doesn't want to deal with them in the future...

Bill chuckles to himself. There's such a simple solution that'll satisfy both Sixer and Bill! He splits the difference and sends out a wave of sleep down the hallway. The ones struggling to get up fall back down. Their eyes droop as they become comatose.

There we go! They won't wake up ever and Bill didn't kill them! He even made certain that their permanent dreams were nice ones! Bill is very thoughtful indeed.

Bill makes it to the end of the hallway and decides that using the doors is inconvenient at best. He starts vibrating at a high enough frequency that he can slip through walls. He enters the first cell and is met with nothing. Not a problem. Bill slips through the wall between the cells and keeps searching.

Most of the cells were empty, the others had people inside, but none of them had the person Bill was looking for. The more cells Bill passed the more frustrated he became. A couple of the people called out to Bill, which Bill ignored. Some were too stunned to properly respond. One of them was curled up in a corner. Bill nearly passes this room, but belatedly realizes that the person in the corner had such fluffy looking hair. Bill smiles. He could recognize that fluffy head of hair anywhere!

Bill floats over to the man curled up into himself. They had changed his clothes with prisoner garb. It doesn't suit Sixer. Bill snaps his fingers and magically alters the clothes to something more Sixer-y. Specifically that one outfit with the sweater vest and the blue long shirt underneath. Bill added a bowtie for funsies.

Sixer startles out of his whatever it was he was doing while being all crouched over like that. Probably being depressed or something. He looks up and finally notices him.

"Bill."

"That's me! I'm here to break you out, Fordsie!" Bill closes his eye and stretches his arms out, fully expecting to be tackled into a hug.

He hears Sixer getting to his feet and... nothing? Bill opens his eye in confusion and before he can register it Sixer sucker punches him in his eye. Bill's flung back at the force and slides across the floor hollering in pain.

"AAAA, MY EYE! WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS GO FOR THE EYE?"

"THAT'S FOR LYING TO ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT TRIANGLE!"

Aw, crap. How much does Sixer know?

It takes a couple of seconds for Bill to heal his eye. Once he's done he blinks his eye open to see Sixer standing over him. He stomps his heel down onto Bill's bricks dragging an 'oof' out of him.

"You tricked me! I can't believe I ever believed in you." With every word he spoke he puts more and more of his weight onto Bill. Bill grasps at Sixer's shoe, but doesn't push him off. Certainly, Bill needs to regain control of the situation, but he can't make it look like he's regaining control of the situation. So he plays along.

Bill squirms. "Wait wait, ack, wait. What did they tell you?"

"You know what you did!"

Yes, Bill does know what he did, he just needs to know what Sixer thinks he did. Best to play with half-truths for now. "Don't you know that cops aren't to be trusted? Don't you know what kind of discrimination happens around here? What did they tell you?"

Sixer's face scrunches in confusion. His weight on Bill lessens. "They..." Sixer seems to remember his anger and puts even more weight onto Bill. "They told me enough! They said I was charged with helping you escape from your lifetime prison and building illegal portals! They wouldn't believe me when I said I had no idea what was going on! That you tricked me!" Sixer lifts his foot and stomps his full weight onto Bill. Ouch, that motherfucker!

"Ack, I- I didn't-"

"DON'T TRY TO KEEP LYING TO ME!"

"FINE! Fine! Just let me breathe!"

Sixer finally backs off. Bill pushes himself forward enough to sit up. He rubs at his sore bricks.

"...Okay, I did use you to escape from me and my friend's prison."

Sixer grabs at his hair. "Ugh, I knew it, I KNEW IT! Why did I-" he pauses, "Friends?"

"Yes, I wasn't just being selfish, you know. I was also working to get my friends out from their wrongful imprisonment."

Sixer stares incredulously. "What do you mean wrongful imprisonment?"

"It means that my friends and I were in jail because Time Baby and his goons have something against each of us! You see, Time Baby doesn't like it when things don't go his way, and his way is order. You gotta walk a straight line if you want to be able to survive in Time Baby's world. Me and my friends are all outliers who just wanted to do what we wanted to do and Time Baby hates that."

Sixer frowns. "So you did break the law."

"Technically, yes, but just because I broke the law doesn't mean I did something bad. Time Baby has a lot of stupid laws that do nothing but ensure that everybody stays under his heel. For example," Bill gestures wildly to emphasize his point, "it's illegal for everybody except Time Baby to become immortal! And it's illegal to pursue two different schools of magic! The only reason for these rules is so that way nobody can overpower Time Baby himself!"

Sixer considers this. "So you broke the rules in rebellion?"

"No, I've existed since before Time Baby was born! I'm several billions of years old Sixer. I'm older than some universes! Time Baby knows that I'm more powerful than him and he has tried everything to prevent me from usurping him, including imprisoning me for the past billion years in the Nightmare Realm."

Sixer rubs his chin. "The Nightmare Realm... I think I remember hearing the police say that name before. What is it?"

"The Nightmare Realm is one of chaos and insanity. A lawless land where the rules of gravity and other such things don't exist. It's a dimension between dimensions, acting as a foam to fill up space between all of the 3rd dimensions. It constantly shifts and swirls about, never taking the same shape twice. It'd be a nice place to visit if it wasn't a permanent home. And most importantly, thanks to its lawless nature, it'll eventually collapse upon itself."

"What do you mean?"

"All of the dimensions that surround it constantly shift around causing displacement. It's simply an eventuality that the displacement causes things to become stretched so thin that everything gets crushed. And that's why I wanted- no, why I needed to come to your dimension.

"Time Baby would have left my friends and I there to eventually die, so I've been searching for an escape. I've been looking for people incessantly to help us, but nobody wants to go against Time Baby's rule. And the rest who aren't aware of his rule weren't smart enough or didn't have the materials to build a portal. That is, until you came along and summoned me. It was the perfect opportunity, so I... took advantage of you." Bill winced at the phrasing and didn't bother to hide it. The bad feeling came back, but it feels startlingly... nice to speak the truth. Or at least the half-truths Bill's been speaking this whole time. Bill would hate for Sixer to find out that he and his friends also got sent to the Nightmare Realm for other crimes Sixer may not be so quick to forgive. That is, if Sixer does forgive this version he's painted of himself.

Sixer frowns again. "Why didn't you just tell me the truth?"

'Cause Bill hasn't thought of it at the time. And also, "'Cause I wasn't sure you'd take to my tale. Not everybody is sympathetic to people who break the law..." Bill starts fiddling with his bowtie. When Sixer stomped on him he messed it up.

Bill thinks he sees regret flash across Sixer's face, but it's quickly replaced by exasperation. Sixer starts pacing back and forth, mumbling to himself under his breath. Every once in a while Sixer glances down at Bill. Bill really does not being looked down upon. It should be the other way around, with people looking up to him.

...

Although, there's something about Sixer in a position of power that feels oddly gratifying.

Sixer stops his pacing and stares at Bill. "So the story of Modoc was all bullshit?"

Bill's face scrunches up. "Please don't curse. And a good chunk of it was true, but I suppose the other parts were fabricated, yes."

Sixer stares intently at Bill. If he was any less of a person Bill would be squirming under his glare. "How do I know you're not lying to me again?"

"... I suppose you can't really tell." Bill states matter of factly. Perhaps not the best assurance Bill could give but what else could he say? Sixer would probably have doubts no matter what Bill said so might as well be blunt.

Sixer stares a little longer. "Let's make a deal."

Immediately Bill is suspicious. "What kind of deal?"

"A deal where you can never lie to me again, and I give you a second chance."

"...A second chance at what exactly?"

"Is it not obvious? A-" Sixer huffs in exasperation, "a second chance in being a part of my life!"

Oh.

WAIT.

"Wh- what! You don't trust me that much?! If I don't accept are you gonna break up with me?"

Sixer stares at Bill flatly. "Bill, we currently aren't boyfriends. What, did you think I would just still be your boyfriend after you got me imprisoned?"

Bill form cracks, startling Stanford. Bill then shatters into a hundred little pieces. Stanford peers curiously at Bill's crumbled form.

"Bill, you alright?"

Stanford broke up with him, without even talking with Bill about it! That's like- what?! Does Bill's opinion not matter?

"Are you still alive?"

Where does Stanford get off doing that without Bill's permission? Quite frankly, it's rude. No head's up even. Unbelievable.

"...Bill?"

So, if Bill wants Stanford's affections again, he just needs to not lie to Stanford ever again? Do half-truths count as truths or lies? What's the line here?

Stanford crouches down next to Bill and stares blankly.

Maybe Bill can get away with some things as long as he makes certain Stanford doesn't go into too much detail on what lying entails.

Alright, then it's settled.

Stanford startles again as Bill gathers himself and slots together all his split pieces. Bill blinks a couple of times, double-checking that everything's in the right place.

Bill holds out his hand and lights it on fire. "Okay, so I can't lie to you and in return, you be my boyfriend again."

Stanford blinks. "No."

"Great! It's good th-" Wait. That's not- Bill drops his lit hand. The fire goes out. "But, but you said you'd give me a second chance?!"

Stanford's brow furrows. "I said a second chance of being a part of my life. Not at being my boyfriend."

Bill can't believe what he's hearing. "But, that's- what?"

"If you want a second chance at being my boyfriend, you need to prove to me that you're worthy of a chance like that."

Bill? Not worthy? In someone's eyes??? Bill is- He's the most worthy of, of everything! Bill's got a good soul! Sure he may fuck things up sometimes, but it's not something he can't fix! And he will fix it! He's working on fixing everything right now!

But to not be worthy- to Stanford?? What?! He must be blind. His head must be too far up his own ass to see.

Then again, it's not like Bill ever explained his ideas and plans to him...

But then again, nobody ever understands. They call him a monster for some reason. Sure, Bill is cruel at times, but it's nothing that can't be undone!

"Well, what's your answer?"

Oh, Bill will be worthy. Bill is always worthy. Bill Cipher always gets what he wants. And what he wants is...

Bill narrows his eye at Stanford. "I'll show you that I'm worthy. As a matter of fact, I'll impress you so much that you'll regret the time that we weren't boyfriends. And then you'll see how worthy I truly am. You'll see."

For the first time since Bill's arrival Stanford's emotions actually turn to something positive. He laughs. It's dry, but it's a laugh nonetheless. "Prove it."

Bill raises his hand and lights it again. "Then we have a deal?"

Stanford hums then looks off to the side and puts his hand on his chin like he's thinking it over. Really? He's the one who proposed the deal in the first place! Bill does his best to not let any irritation show on his face.

Stanford looks back over at Bill and stares at him for a moment. "No lying, and no faking emotions either. Then I'll give you a second chance. deal?"

Rats. There goes one of the technicalities that Bill could have taken advantage of. But as long as Stanford doesn't say Bill has to tell the full truth then there's some salvaging this. "Deal."

Stanford nods and takes Bill's hand into his own. They shake on it.

Sixer lets go and stares intently at Bill. "Was anything you just told me about Time Baby and yourself a lie?"

Wow, Sixer's going right for the neck, huh? "It's all true. Although my friends haven't gotten in trouble with Time Baby just because they tried to gain immortality or pursue more than two schools of magic. For example, Keyhole got in trouble for not paying his taxes. And Teeth did steal that baby from their mother, but that mom was total trash to her child, so I think of it more as surprise adoption than anything else."

"Surprise adopt-" Sixer puts his face in his hand.

Bill doesn't see what the problem is. "What?"

Sixer doesn't remove his face from his hand. "Your friend stole a baby."

"Surprise adopted a baby from a terrible person, yes."

Sixer removes his face from his hand and hangs his head. He sighs long and heavy. "What have I gotten myself into?"

Bill still isn't sure what the problem is. "Don't worry, Fordsie. I'm sure you'll fit in just fine with the gang. We're like one big family! We're all weirdos too so everybody'll accept you for you!"

"That's not..." Sixer seems to give up on his train of thought. "So, what do we do now? Break out of prison?"

"That's the plan, Sixer! Let's go!" Bill grabs Sixer's hand and pulls him up.

"What? Where are we even going?"

Bill stares blankly. Oh right, he forgot to make a plan.

He hums as he thinks for a few seconds. He then sticks his finger in the air as a moment of 'aha!' hits him. "I got it! We're heading to an interdimensional gateway! And then we'll be illegally reprogramming it to go to the Nightmare Realm!"

"...We're moving from one prison to another?"

"It's the only place I can think of where Time Baby won't follow us. Besides, I can't abandon my friends. I promised to take care of them. And by 'I promised", I mean I made a deal with them."

"...Alright then. Onward, I guess."

Bill grins. "Onward!"

They move towards the door-wall and Bill starts to vibrate their frequencies so they can slide through the wall when he remembers something critical.

"Oh, by the way, the guards in the hallway are hurt and unconscious, but they shouldn't be dead."

Sixer pinches the bridge of his nose. "Bill, what did you do?"

"I blew up my prison cell. And then I used magic to knock the rest of the guards unconscious." Permanently, unless somebody with the right magic uses it to wake them up, but Sixer doesn't need to know that. "Anyways, onward!"

Bill vibrates them right through the wall.


	6. Escape!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this time around I've rewritten the entire chapter. Some things are the same, some things are different. The things that stayed the same, I tried to make the wording better so that the image is clearer. Sometimes. It shouldn't be so bad to reread, I think. 
> 
> There is a point at the beginning of the chapter where I describe somebody bleeding, so if you don't like that, then be careful.

Ford's a bit shocked when they slip through the wall. He wasn't expecting that that was how Bill got into his cell. He figured he'd teleported in or something.

The slight yet intense buzzing sensation Ford feels as they make their way through makes Ford slightly nauseous. Luckily it's over quickly enough, though the scene Ford takes in makes him wish slightly that he'd stayed in his cell.

Somehow Bill's warning didn't fully prepare him for this. There's a blaring alarm that almost makes him cover his ears. Rubble and dust litter the floor. To the right is what Ford can only assume was Bill's cell. The ceiling and floor are caved in creating a sizable crater. Ford watches as a chunk of the ceiling falls and thuds on top a pile of debris.

Over to the left are three knocked out guards. Even from where Ford is standing he can tell that one of the guards has a serious head injury while the other two are covered in some nasty looking gashes and bruises.

Ford lets go of Bill's hand and rushes over to the one with the serious head injury. He kneels beside her to check her injuries and then hisses through his teeth. She's bleeding heavily from the head and even as Ford observes her he can see the blood pool around her growing. She looks way too pale for Ford's comfort.

Bill floats over to the woman and for a moment Ford thinks that he's about to heal her, but then he unclips a time device from her belt.

Bill grabs Ford's hand. "C'mon Sixer, we need to go before the guards show up!"

Ford can't believe it. He rips his hand away from Bill's grip. "We can't just leave these people behind! You should heal them before we leave."

Bill looks positively irritated, much to Ford's surprise. "We don't have time for this!"

Ford frowns. "Is it so bad to want to help?" Ford's tone is extremely bitter, but it's not like Ford cares about that. "Will you or will you not?"

"I don't-" Bill slaps a hand over his eye and mutters something Ford can't hear due to the loud alarm. He removes his hand and speaks at a volume Ford can understand. "Sor- sss-" He looks even more frustrated than before. "Ugh, I don't mean to get mad, it's just that we have to go before-"

"STOP IN THE NAME OF SPACE-TIME."

Ford startles and looks behind himself to see several time police officers start to fill the hallway. He can hear the whine of their guns powering on as they're pointed directly at him and Bill.

"DON'T MOVE A TIME-INCH."

Bill wraps his arms around Ford faster than he's ever seen Bill move. Within half a moment his torso is encased.

"FI-"

Ford never hears the end of that word as he's already completely sunk through the floor. For a second he's relieved. But then he remembers the unconscious guards that were right next to them as they escaped. If the police shot at them when they aren't there then- "We need to go back! They, the bullets! The unconscious guards could have gotten hit by the bullets! We need to-"

"Sixer, I'm going to have to ask you to relax! Do you have any idea the medical capabilities the future holds? I guarantee you that even if they did get hit they'll be just fine."

That's... somewhat relieving. "So they won't die? Are you sure?"

Bill sinks them through another floor. "Time cops take care of their own. They'll be fine."

Ford lets out a sigh of relief. He's still worried, but at least he's not panicking anymore.

Bill sinks them through several more floors. "Don't worry, you should be able to breathe."

Before Ford can voice his confusion Bill descends through one final floor out into outer space.

Ford blinks as he takes in his surroundings. He then feels himself grow giddy. There's so much to take in! The Earth! And look at all the stars! With no light pollution, he can see so many stars!! Everything is so pretty!

Bill unwraps his arms from Ford's torso and instead wraps his hand around Ford's.

Ford can barely contain his excitement. "Bill, we're in space!"

Bill chuckles. "That we are. But don't get too excited, there are far better places to explore in space than right outside Earth's atmosphere."

Ford won't allow Bill to be a damp towel. "Oh come on, this is so exciting! How can space ever be not exciting?"

Bill looks contemplative. He gazes off into the stars. "Okay, I'll admit that the view is good. It's nice to see the stars again after being locked up for so long."

Ford's about to reply when he takes in Bill's expression. He looks like he's... sadly happy? Or perhaps bitterly joyous? Whatever the correct terminology is it looks like a complicated emotion. It kind of makes him feel like Bill is... more than just a terrible thing that's happened to him.

He's still upset. Are you kidding him? He's fucking pissed. But this moment... it's like Bill is more of a person than a thing. A terrible person for sure, but a person nonetheless.

Ford looks down at their connected hands. It feels weird. He is mad... but also he likes holding Bill's hand. But still, Ford doesn't want to be holding hands with him.

Ford sighs. It looks like his heart hasn't caught up with his brain yet.

Ford glances back at Bill to see him staring right back at him. Bill doesn't look away, just keeps quietly observing Ford. Ford doesn't look away either.

...

Feels slightly awkward...

Bill breaks the silence. "We should head to the Earth before they find us."

Ford clears his throat. "Uh, yes."

Bill pulls Ford along and they zoom down to Earth.

Now that Ford's paying attention to something besides the stars he notices that the Earth looks weird. It must be at least five miles away, but from here he can tell that there's an odd green tint surrounding the entire planet. It doesn't seem natural. Thanks to it it makes seeing the details of the Earth rather difficult.

Looking up, he sees the prison they were just in. It's shaped like an infinity symbol curiously enough. There are red lights spinning about, probably signifying their escape. He can't hear the alarms anymore, but then again they're in space. Of course he can't hear anything.

He notices the windows along one side of the prison. People are rushing about doing things he can't make out because by the second he is hurtling down towards the Earth.

Ford points at the windows. "Won't they be able to see us?"

"Not a problem. I've covered us with a spell that refracts light so nobody should be able to."

Ford hums. That spell must be the one he used to turn invisible back in the forest.

As they get closer to the Earth he sees that the green tint is actually a grid of some sort surrounding the entire planet.

Ford opens his mouth, but Bill beats him to the punch. "That grid serves multiple purposes. It alerts people of illegal entry, acts as a shield against minor attacks, and its main purpose is to keep in greenhouse gasses. The humans screwed up big time and caused an apocalypse that nearly wiped out all of mankind. Only the richest survived."

Ford is confused for a split moment before realizing why. His heart sinks.

"Time Baby is the one who implemented the grid. Don't get the wrong idea about him though, just because he's done some good things doesn't mean he isn't running a dictatorship."

The more Ford learns of this Time Baby the more he worries about the future.

"Don't worry, this future is well beyond your lifespan." Bill says that like its reassuring at all. And also like he can read Ford's mind. That's suspicious.

"Can you read my thoughts?"

"Hmm? Oh, not at all, just your emotional state. I can sense how your body regulates itself so I can tell what you're feeling based on that."

Ford would cross his arms stubbornly if he could. He settles for frowning instead. "I don't want you reading my emotions."

Bill spares a befuddled glance back at him before focusing on reaching the surface. "Kinda difficult to do that Sixer. That's like asking me to pluck out my eye so I can stop looking at you."

Ford doesn't know exactly what to say to that. He doesn't want Bill plucking out an eye... But still, he doesn't want his emotions to be read and used like before.

They reach the grid. Bill snaps his fingers and rips a hole in it big enough for the both of them to pass through. As soon as the cross it Ford hears an air horn siren seemingly coming from the entire city.

Bill winces. "Ugh, how annoying."

As the hole closes behind them Bill waves his hand in front of them and the sound from the sirens cuts off.

"There we go! Now we don't gotta deal with all that noise!" Bill turns to Ford with a cheerful expression on his face.

A beat passes.

Ford knows exactly what Bill's expecting. "I'm not going to praise you for that."

Bill's expression turns to something more subdued.

"Do you honestly expect me to be happy about you solving a minor problem that you caused in the first place?"

Bill glances off to the side. It's clear the answer is yes.

Ford huffs. "You're far more self-centered than I realized. I'm not going to compliment you on every little thing you do."

"But you said you'd give me a second chance!"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to blindly adore you like before."

Bill looks at him for a long moment, before heading back down to the surface with Ford in tow. Ford can't see his expression anymore, but he can hear his words. "...could at least be a little grateful..."

Ford rolls his eyes. As he does so his eye catches sight of the moon and he has to do a double-take. There's a huge chunk of it that's blown off. The jagged lines make it look like someone blasted it.

Bill glances at Ford and sees him gaping. Bill turns to look at where Ford is looking and tuts. "Another thing Time Baby did. He blew it up crudely in a display of power. As if him nearly wiping out half the human race wasn't enough."

Ford is in terrified awe. "Time Baby is really that powerful?"

Bill blinks his mouth open and blows a raspberry. "Please, he's not that strong. He had to rest for an entire two days after that feat. Although, I do suppose he could have grown smarter over the past billion years, but I doubt it. He pales in comparison to me."

Ford eyes Bill in disbelief. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because it's just a fact. I can sense his magic levels and let me tell you they've barely changed over the past eon. Even back then I was more powerful than him! The only reason he managed to capture me and hold me prisoner in the Nightmare Realm was that I was too overconfident and naive back then. But things have changed. He may have grown smarter, but so have I. I'm more cunning, I'm faster thinking on my feet, and I'm more intelligent since I've been doing more than resting on my laurels for the past billion years."

"Yeah, I sorta got the impression that you're cunning and a fast thinker."

Bill groans. "I'm going to hear a lot about this, aren't I?"

Ford hums noncommittally. Right now isn't the time to be having this conversation.

Bill glances nervously back at Ford. Then he blinks in confusion and his expression grows irritated.

Ford raises an eyebrow. "What? What is it?"

"Noth-" Bill chokes over the word. He looks slightly startled and tries again. "Nnn-" His expression becomes frustrated. He starts muttering. "Stupid..."

Ford's brow furrows at Bill's muttering. "Stupid what?" He narrows his eyes in anger. "You aren't calling me stupid, are you?"

"No! No, just," Bill looks back at Ford and stares. He still looks frustrated. His pupil darts back and forth like he's thinking.

Ford finds himself growing frustrated as well. How difficult is it to speak what's on your mind?

Bill stares at Ford again. He speaks slowly like he's testing out the words. "I find it... I'm not used to..." Bill looks irritated again. "I don't want to talk about it."

Ford lets his irritation grow. Forget not having this conversation now. "You mean you want to avoid talking about it because you don't have the guts."

That's enough to halt Bill in his tracks. He lets go of Ford's hand and stares him down. The colors of his eye shift from purple and white to red and black. "How **_dare_** you! I didn't have to come save you, you know. I could have left you behind and made certain that me and my friends had a great time on Earth and the rest of the universe!"

Ford is unimpressed. "Then why did you come save me?"

Bill is fuming. "You know what? I'm not sure why! You're sour attitude is putting me off right now."

"My sour attitude? You're the one responsible for this whole mess! I have a right to be angry about you ruining my entire life! How are things going to go back to normal after everything you've done? Tell me, Bill! Where's my happily ever after that I've worked so hard to achieve?!"

Bill rolls his eye. "You're living in a fairytale Sixer. Life can be cruel and sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. You just need to say "Screw you, Life!" and then punch it in the face 'til things go your way."

"Is that an open invitation?"

"I said life! Not me! Get your ears cleaned!"

Both glare at each other.

Bill's stare turns duller. "This is annoying. I can just ditch you out here in space and go figure out a new plan on how to save my friends."

Ford thinks the worst part of that statement is that Bill seemed to be talking to himself more than he was talking to Ford. But Ford's not falling for it. "Then why don't you?"

BIll's gaze sharpens again. "Oh, I wi-" He stumbles over the word. "I-" He literally growls.

Something clicks in Ford's head. Pissed doesn't even begin to describe what he's feeling. "STOP TRYING TO LIE TO ME!"

Bill's fingers sharpen into claws and he turns red. "YOU'RE SO INFURIATING, ARE YOU AWARE OF THAT STANFORD PINES?"

"JUST TELL THE TRUTH."

"THE TRUTH IS STUPID AND MAKES ME LOOK PATHETIC."

That sentence hits Ford a little hard. Forcing himself down from his anger, he deliberately makes his next words calm. "Bill, what in all the universe could possibly make you look pathetic?"

Ford watches the fight drain out of Bill. "Noth- nnn-" Bill tries to cling to his anger, tries to growl out his frustrations again, but it trails off meanderingly. His colors shift back to normal and his claws retract. He turns away from Ford, crossing his arms.

Ford tries to move to get a better view of Bill's face, but he's stuck in place. He feels tempted to yell at Bill some more to get him to show Ford what emotions he could be hiding. Somehow though, he gets the feeling that that will not help the situation.

Ford lets out a sigh, long and deep. Clearly this whole lying thing runs deeper than he originally suspected. It's absolutely infuriating. Ford thought he'd finally see who Bill truly was, but he still won't show his face! Without his wall of lies he's now hiding behind his hands and it makes Ford want to rip his hair out. How exactly is any of this supposed to make Ford trust Bill again? Though the way this situation is playing out it's almost like Bill doesn't trust Ford with who he really is!

...

Hold on.

Ford carefully pays attention to Bill's reaction. "Don't you trust me?"

Bill tenses up. "Who said I didn't?"

That's... not a direct answer. "Yes or no Bill."

Bill hovers there doing nothing. Saying nothing. The silence speaks volumes.

Well then. That explains a lot. So Bill doesn't trust Ford with how he feels. Because he feels that those emotions are pathetic. Does he think that Ford's gonna make fun of him or something? Why the hell would Ford do that? And it's not like Bill couldn't stop him or, hell, even kill him with a snap of his fingers.

Then again the mind can be irrational at times.

...

Ford gives up on his anger, at least for the moment. "You do realize that I wouldn't call you pathetic or whatever if you showed me how you felt, right?"

Bill ever so subtly flinches.

Ford waits for a response. A few seconds tick by.

Nothing.

Ford sighs, this time less frustrated and more downcast. "Bill, I promise you that-"

"We need to keep moving, otherwise we'll be caught again." Despite saying this Bill doesn't move.

Looking around Ford notices that there are several police... cars? flying through the air flashing blue and red lights. As much as Ford wants to keep this conversation going or perhaps even observe the flying cars more he knows that Bill's right. "I guess so."

Once Ford says those words it's like a spell is broken. Bill turns back around and grabs his hand. Bill's face has a determined look to it. Looks like he's distracting himself from the previous subject matter.

Bill then guides Ford down closer to the surface. Ford can see the skyscrapers come into focus and is surprised by how tall and flashy they are. They're covered in what appear to be ads, though it's difficult to tell for what from how far away they are.

They close in, but before Ford can make out the ads Bill stops them and then starts speeding around seemingly randomly. Ford feels slightly confused about why they don't get any closer.

Before he can voice his confusion Bill says, "I don't know where the nearest interdimensionalport is. It's easier for me to find one from this high vantage point."

Ford supposes he's just going to have to get used to Bill answering his questions before he even asks them.

...Wait.

"You don't know? I thought you knew everything?"

Bill stills for a moment before resuming his search. "I know... most things. Not everything..." Bill's words pick up speed. "But just cause I don't know everything doesn't mean I'm not trying to know everything. Eventually, I will be perfect, it just takes a lot of work."

"I was under the impression that it's impossible to be perfect."

"Maybe for everybody else, but not for me."

Somehow, Ford doubts that.

"I mean it! I'm going to become perfection itself and become a full-fledged god."

"Is that even possible?"

"Of cour-" Bill gets cut off again. Wow, Bill sure does jump to lying, doesn't he? "I ca- ...fine. I don't know if it's actually possible. No mortal has ever become a god in recorded history. Any stories that say that a mortal has are nothing more than myths and legends. Believe me, I checked. But I'm sure that if I try hard enough I'll become the first one."

"...Mortal?"

"Yeah, I've risen from mortal to a demigod, I don't see why I can't go beyond that."

Before Ford can question further Bill yanks him towards a building that looks suspiciously like an airport, but without the runways and planes.

"Over there! Buckle in Sixer, we're going to be breaking at least fourteen laws within the next couple of minutes!"

Ford feels tired. "Do you really need to state that?"

"Also, once we're inside you should be quiet. Don't want anyone figuring out that we're there until it's too late!"

Without any further warning, Bill dips down and flies them towards the roof of the interdimensionalport. Ford tenses up, half-expecting to slam into it, but the weird vibrations start up again and they slip through unscathed. After a second of going through ceilings and ventilations, they pop out the other side.

Ford blinks at the sudden bright lights. Looking away from them Ford looks down to see dozens of people sitting in chairs looking rather impatient. Others are looking at some weird flat device that they hold in their hands. There are queues separated by differently colored ropes held up by poles. The queues are empty of people. At the end of them are security guards, each in front of an odd-looking archway which all lead nowhere except into a wall.

Ford doesn't get much chance to see more than that as Bill zips them towards the closest archway which he belatedly realizes is a deactivated portal.

Bill sets Ford down behind the security guards and makes a "shh" hand signal. He then very carefully and sneakily shoves the guards away from the portal. They yell as they're pushed a few yards away. Bill then grabs the ground and pulls up a five-foot thick wall of earth around them and the portal effectively creating a miniature earthquake in the interdimensionalport.

Ford stands there confused as all hell. "What was the point of me being quiet if you're just going to create that much noise? Now everybody knows we're here."

"We don't want them to know we're here until it's too late Sixer. It's already too late for them. I thought I explained that to you." Bill floats over to the portal and starts prying off a panel. "You're going to want to stand back as I work."

Ford immediately becomes indignant. "What? Surely I can help!"

Bill manages to rip off the panel. "Trust me, you're not going to be much help this time around."

Ford frowns and walks over to Bill. "I've built a portal before, I think I can-" Ford stops short as he looks inside the machine. He's dumbfounded by the alien-looking mechanisms of wires and tubes. Ford knows what the inside of a portal should look like and this isn't it. Actually, he's not entirely sure exactly what he's looking at.

Bill's arm morphs into an odd-looking shape and he jams it into the inner workings of the portal. "You may be a genius IQ, but that doesn't change the fact that you're ignorant of how future science works. Now please stand back, I don't want you going blind."

After a moment's hesitation, Ford follows Bill's advice and steps back. He may wonder how the portal works, but going blind kind of kills his curiosity. He hangs back and watches Bill work from a safe distance.

Bill's other arm turns into a knife and he digs it into the machine. "You're going to want to shield your eyes in two seconds."

Ford raises his hands and covers his eyes, but leaves a sliver between his fingers so he can still watch. Ford yelps and then covers his eyes for real this time as a sudden bright white light shines from within where Bill is working. Just getting a glimpse left his eyes stinging. He can feel tears start to build up.

"Alright, it should be safe to look now. You didn't damage your eyes, did you?"

Ford cautiously removes his hands. When he sees that the light is gone he drops them and blinks his eyes. He wipes away the tears. "Just afterimages, I think."

"Good, and before you ask, that was liquid light. Potent stuff vital for powering portals." Ford opens his mouth, but Bill cuts him off. "Yes, light can be liquid. When it hits air though it leaks everywhere. If you stare at it directly it's like staring at the sun, only a sun that's around eight million miles away. Your eyes would literally boil if you looked for too long."

Ford decides to ask a different question. "If this liquid light is necessary for powering portals, then how come we could use radioactive waste to power my portal?"

"Your-" Bill stops. "Simple. I created the blueprints of the portal so that way it'd work with your primitive technology. Do you have any idea how difficult that was? I had to study so much theoretical multiverse science for hundreds of thousands of years! I had to study the laws of physics and then improve the written laws the so-called geniuses came up with. Humans weren't even meant to discover how portals worked until over a hundred thousand years had passed in your time. And yet I reinvented nearly everything to work with your level of technology.

"I saved my friends over a hundred thousand years of additional prison sentence at the least." Bill turns small and delves into the portal. His voice does not go squeaky like Ford imagined it would. His voice remains the same. "Or I'm hoping I've saved my friends an additional hundred thousand years. I'm not sure yet if things'll work out the way I want them to. I still have so much work to do.

"You better be thankful Sixer. I could have left you behind to rot in time prison. And yet I came to save you even though it ruins the plans I've been planning for a literal billion years."

Like hell he's thankful. So what if saving Ford cost Bill a... billion years of planning... a number so big humans can't even comprehend it properly...

...

Okay, maybe it does make Ford feel a little special. But also it was the right thing to come save him even if it did cost Bill so much. If Bill wasn't a decent person he would have left him behind. So Bill's a decent person then.

Wait...

Well, good. It means that Bill does, in fact, have some redeemable qualities. So he isn't a total lost cause. Still doesn't make up for what he did to Ford though. Bill's going to have to do a lot more to prove that he's boyfriend material.

A muffled _bjjjjuuiiiiiii_ interrupts Ford's thoughts. He turns around to find that a section of the wall Bill had thrown up has a small red circle on it. As the seconds pass the circle grows a brighter red and increases in size.

"Uh, Bill?"

"Hang on Sixer, I've nearly got this thing reprogrammed."

"I don't think that what's happening can hang on."

"Just be patient."

The sound gradually grows in volume and Ford starts to feel heat emanate from the wall. He steps back as far as he can within the limited space he has. He still feels the heat. The circle grows larger until it reaches eight feet tall and wide. The wall begins melting.

"Bill?"

"I said be patient!"

Ford watches in horror as the wall completely melts away pooling onto the floor and revealing a large laser gun. Several time police officers step in front of the laser from the sides and aim their guns at him.

"FREEZE IN THE NAME OF-"

The officer's words get cut off as in less than a quarter of a second more of the ground rises and closes off the hole.

"Honestly, Time Baby's cronies are so rude, interrupting me while I work..." Bill grumbles from within the machine.

Ford has to take a second to calm his racing heart. Maybe he should start believing Bill when he says things.

...

That's a dangerous way of thinking. Bill could... do what? He's now bound by contract to never lie to Ford again. How could he possibly trick him? Perhaps Ford should believe Bill from here on out...

A click sounds from within the portal and it powers on. "GOT IT!"

Bill emerges from the machine grinning. The portal's center starts swirling in various shades of green. "This'll take us straight to the Nightmare Realm! And with this," Bill pulls out the time device he stole from... somewhere, "once we get in there we can roll back time and be back in your correct time period!"

The laser noise sounds again, starting to create another hole. Bill grabs Ford's hand without saying anything more and drags him through the portal.

Going through it is an odd feeling. It's like forcing your way through a foot thick wall of jello. It's black for half a second, then all the colors come back in a flash.

On the other side, Bill stops dragging Ford and gestures out to the wide expanse of vibrant colors and floating rocks. "Welcome to the Nightmare Realm!"

Ford's entranced by what he sees. This place is a flurry of colors. It looks like the atmosphere of this place is a mixture of bright reds and purples in constant swirling movement, never quite blending into each other. Ford blinks. Er... it's actually a mixture of reds and blues? He blinks again. Greens and yellows? Ford rubs his eyes. These vivid colors are starting to give him a headache.

"Yeah, you get used to it after a while."

Ford looks at Bill. At least when he blinks Bill's a constant. Ford gaze follows down his arm and he realizes that Bill's still holding his hand. Bill has been touching him a lot over the past twenty minutes. Thinking back on it the contact makes his stomach churn uncomfortably. He removes his hand from Bill's grip. "I don't want you touching me anymore without my permission."

Bill's eye widens. "What? Why?!"

Ford crosses his arms stubbornly. "If you expect me to respect your boundaries and not touch you without your permission, then I think you can do the same with me."

Bill stares for a moment longer before looking off to the side. "I guess I can respect your wishes."

Ford nods. "I'll hold it to you then."

A sound comes from the direction of the portal. Ford and Bill look over to see a couple of time officers exiting from it. They start by running out. Once they take a look around they notice Bill and Ford. They try running closer, yelling out, "FREEZE.", but thanks to there being no traction since the ground doesn't exist (How had Ford not noticed before?) they start spinning around in place comically. They try to aim their guns at Ford and Bill, but they're still spinning in place and they keep twisting their bodies around to properly aim.

Bill hacks out a laugh and then flicks his wrist like he's swatting the officers away, which Ford guesses that he technically does because with the flick of his wrist the officers are shoved back through the portal.

"C'mon Sixer, let's head back to your proper time." Bill moves to grab Ford's hand again and then hesitates. "You're fine with me holding your hand again, right? I need to be touching you for us to both travel back."

Ford supposes if he has to. "Sure."

Bill takes Ford's hand in his own and grows a third arm to pull out the measuring tape. "To the past!" The third arm lets go and with that, they're both traveling back in time. 


	7. Meet the Gang!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been a bit of a while! this chapter took me so long to write, that and i ended up taking a nonscheduled break for a couple of weeks thanks to depression, BUT im back babee!!! 
> 
> anyways, hope yall enjoy!

The time travel ends soon enough and an eternity later. You can never tell how much time has passed while time traveling, and that's what makes it so much fun!

Bill shrinks the third arm he grew back into his body and stores the time device. He looks over at Sixer to make certain that he is actually still there. Bill would hate if something had gone horribly wrong and Bill was only holding onto just an arm or something.

Sixer is still there, all in one piece. Thank goodness. That AND his hair is on fire.

Bill glances down at Sixer's face. He's staring at Bill confusedly. Perhaps he hasn't noticed..?

Bill looks back up at the flames. "You're on fire."

"WHAT?!"

"I said you're on fire."

Sixer doesn't even acknowledge Bill's words as he lets go of Bill's hand and starts frantically trying to smother the flames. Rude.

Bill watches the entertainment. Although... as a couple of seconds tick by he can't help but feel a smidge bit worried with how desperate Sixer is acting. "Do you want help with that?"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK?"

Well, considering Sixer's earlier request to not touch him without his permission, Bill supposes that Sixer doesn't want to be helped. Then again, Sixer is a mortal with no magic training. So maybe he feels threatened by the fire and wants help? But also he doesn't want to be touched... Does using magic count as touching? Bill imagines it must be because his magic is a part of himself. But also the magic he uses for the most part isn't even his own! He borrows magic from the universe around him which is why his powers can seem so infinite. So if Bill uses that magic, does it count as touching Sixer? But also also, since they're in the Nightmare Realm-

"THE ANSWER IS YES."

Ah. Bill doesn't think twice and swipes the flame from Sixer's hair with his bare hand. Bill watches it closely. It's a cute little flame, nothing grand. Bill doubts it's done any real damage. Looking back up at Sixer he can see he was mostly right. While Sixer's fluffy hair has suffered some casualties, his scalp appears to have not.

Bill starts playing with the little flame. "You feel okay now?"

Bill is too concentrated on the fire dancing across the back of his hand to take note of what Sixer does. "Yeah, I guess so." There's a pause. Sixer mumbles, "Is that a bald spot?"

Bill looks up. Sixer's hand is going over a spot on his head. He looks upset. Bill frowns. "Yup." That's not good. Sixer should not look so down. That and his soft hair is something to be appreciated, which is difficult to do when it's not there. "Do you want me to grow it back for you?"

Sixer squints his eyes at Bill. "You can, just don't do anything weird."

Bill rolls his eye. "Please, your hair is perfect on its own. Why would I even do anything with it?" He snuffs the flame and snaps his fingers in one smooth motion, sending his magic over to Sixer's scalp as he snaps. Sensing with his magic, he can tell that a good chunk of Sixer's hair is badly damaged. But this is no challenge for Bill. He's experimented on countless species with hair before and human physiology is similar enough that Bill could fix it with his eye closed. So he does. It's not like he can't tell what's going on without his eye. His magic more than makes up for the loss of the sense. As a matter of fact, it can be easier to do magic with your eye closed. Gets rid of any unnecessary information that could confuse you. But doing magic with your eye closed is impressive to people who don't do magic and Bill never misses a chance to impress.

Bill grows out the chunk of Sixer's hair that was missing and rejuvenates the dead ones, bringing them back to life. He double-checks that everything is even (Of course it's even. Bill is a master of this, practically perfect already.) and as an added bonus cleans it of soot. All in all, it takes him, what, not even a couple of seconds? He is amazing.

Bill is already preening at the compliments Sixer will no doubt give. "How's it feel?"

Sixer takes his hands and rubs them through his pristine hair. The hands that are covered in soot from when he tried to put the fire out. So much for cleaning his hair... "It's not bad."

Bill waits impatiently as Sixer runs his fingers through his hair.

...

Is that it?

It's not bad?!

Bill huffs. "That's all you have to say?"

"What?" Sixer stares at Bill. His emotions flicker to anger. "This whole thing is your fault anyway. Why should I be thankful?"

His fault?? "I didn't have to grow back your hair, you know. I could have left you with that bald spot on your head, but instead I graciously fixed it for you. The least you could do is be thankful!"

Instead of showing any form of gratitude like a regular person, Sixer's anger digs deeper. "Thankful? After everything you've done? You're the one who should be thankful I'm giving you a second chance at all!" He crosses his arms. "And you know what? You're not convincing me you deserve a second chance."

Bill's fingers elongate into claws. "What?! After everything I've done for you? You're such a-" Bill cuts himself off before he says something stupid. He starts sheathing and unsheathing his claws in quick succession. In, out, in, out, in, out, in, out, in-

Of course, Sixer has to open his stupid mouth. "I'm such a what, Bill? What am I?"

Out, in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out, in-

"Don't ignore me!"

OUT. EVERYTHING IS JUST. SO. FUCKING. INFURIATING! WHAT IS THE POINT OF SAVING SIXER IF HE'S JUST GOING TO BE A THORN IN HIS SIDE??? HE- HE NEEDS TO-

Bill needs to think.

He turns away from Sixer and leaves.

"Wha- Bill! Don't run away from me!"

Just get as far from here as possible. He needs a clear space with no noise to think.

"BILL! YOU'RE- EX-CUSE ME?!"

Needs to think. Otherwise everything will just happen all over again and quite frankly Bill doesn't need the past to repeat itself.

"Hey!" Bill startles as Sixer sounds much closer than he should right now. "I'm not done talking with you!"

Bill glances back to see that Sixer is _swimming_ after him. This would be hilarious if Bill wasn't so fucking pissed right now. Bill means to talk smoothly, but instead he snarls, "Well, I am done talking with you!"

Sixer swims closer. "Too bad, our conversation isn't over."

This is so stupid. Everything is SO STUPID. Bill picks up speed in the vain hope that he can outspeed Sixer.

Sixer catches up anyway. Like Bill knew he would. Because this is the Nightmare Realm after all and the Nightmare realm has STUPID physics that make NO SENSE.

Bill stops to avoid colliding with Sixer. He can feel his claws dig into the skin of his hands as he balls them into fists. "Listen you unevolved- you stu- ARGH!" He uncurls his fists and tries to stim again. Maybe if he does it fast enough he won't claw Sixer's stupid face. His next words come out deliberate and slow. "I can't calm down from my anger if you keep following and arguing with me. So stop. And let me take time to calm down before I do something that we both regret."

Sixer's anger is as present as ever, oh joy. "So what, you just ditch me in the middle of nowhere?"

"I would have come back for you."

Sixer crosses his arms again. Is this going to be a defining feature of Sixer from here on out? "You could solve your problems without dropping me like a useless sack of trash."

Bill growls. "You certainly do-" Wait, stop that sentence. This isn't what Bill wants. He closes his eye. Think through your thoughts...

"I certainly do? What?"

"I'm," Jeez, it's been an eternity since Bill has had to do anything like this. Usually, he just lets loose. Who cares about the upcoming of assholes? But this time around he needs to remain calm just to make certain that he can keep Sixer around. "I'm upset, because you have been nothing but aggressive towards me and it-" Ah, if he says that then Sixer will hate him for sure.

"And it what? At least say what's really on your mind."

Will it even help the situation?

Eh, fuck it. Things are already bad. "It makes me wonder if you hate me, and if you do, then what's the point of me saving you?" It's a miracle in and of itself that he said that so calmly.

Sixer is silent. Bill chances opening his eye to see what Sixer is feeling. His face is blank. Bill tries to get a read of his emotions but they're such a jumbled mess that it's difficult to tell what's up or down.

This whole thing was such a mistake on Bill's part. Really, why did he even think in the first place that Stanford would be happy to see him? He should have looked past the caricature of Stanford he had in his mind and realized that he'd hate Bill. Of course he would. Who wouldn't?

Everything's falling apart and it's all Bill fault. He threw away his plans because of Stanford, but it wasn't even worth it. Bill thought he'd be able to salvage it, but perhaps he's overestimated himself yet again. He hasn't reached perfection yet after all.

Where did Bill go wrong? Sure, everything went wrong once Time Baby shoved his grubby little hands into everything, but what did Bill do wrong? Maybe he should have come up with a plan that didn't involve saving Stanford. Bill could have killed Time Baby and all his cronies for one if he wasn't so worried about Stanford and-

Oh.

FUCK.

He could have killed them all and then rebuilt the portal himself! Bill has the blueprints for the damn thing memorized forwards and backward, he could have easily put everything back together again.

He could have been having his Weirdmaggedon _right now_.

But he's not.

Instead he threw everything away because he was blind for Stanford and Stanford _doesn't even like him_.

This is-

It's-

It's a lot to take in.

Bill messed up even bigger than he originally thought. What the hell is he even supposed to do now?

Stanford hates him. He's back in the Nightmare Realm. The portal is dismantled. He's going to have to tell his friends that the plan was a complete failure. He's going to have to create a new plan.

Perhaps Bill can use an alternate Stanford to build a portal for him? There was the one who was as dumb as he was smart, but Bill didn't bother with him because he was asexual...

Ack, everything's become such a mess. How the hell is Bill supposed to deal with the Stanford he has on his hands right now?

Ah, right. Dumb question. Put him in an endless sleep. With him being in the Nightmare Realm Bill won't have to worry about him kicking the bucket and can just leave him among the asteroids.

It was fun while it lasted. Bill will miss this Stanford, but Bill has another plan to plan and he can't let Stanford hang around just to potentially ruin it. It's just too bad that Stanford hates him.

"Bill, I don't really hate you."

Huh?

"Maybe I have been overly aggressive, but you have to understand where I'm coming from. You've hurt me in a lot of ways and I'm not comfortable with letting you off the hook. I'm pissed, but I'm not hateful."

Well, that's... not what Bill was expecting. Maybe... there is some salvaging this? Maybe he doesn't have to start over completely. He speaks slowly, as if speaking any faster would break what little he has left. "So... there's still a chance?"

Stanford looks exasperated. "A slim one."

That's so much better than Bill thought it'd be!! Bill is the epitome of charm and there's no way he's letting his favorite toy slip out of his grasp again! "Well, this is fantastic!" Bill moves to throw his arm around Sixer's shoulders, but at seeing Sixer's grimace he remembers the request he made and aborts the movement. "I'll have you realizing that I'm boyfriend material in no time!"

When Bill pulls away the look falls from Sixer's face to be replaced with something subtly ticked off. "Don't be arrogant."

"Uh, it's called confidence Sixer."

Sixer doesn't laugh, but Bill can sense him feeling some wry amusement. Another step in the right direction! "So, what's the plan now?"

Bill pauses. "Huh?"

"The plan? You know, the one you'll be using to get me out of the Nightmare Realm?"

Bill lifts a finger in the air as he finally realizes what Sixer means and then proceeds to say absolutely nothing, his mind blank. After a few moments, he takes his finger and lowers it until it's in front of his face. He stares at it. "Hang on..."

"You have no plan?!"

Bill tunes out Sixer. This is quite a troubling situation. If he doesn't come up with something soon Sixer's opinion of him may lower even further!

Bill starts using magic to speed up his thoughts. A cool wave washes over him. There, now he has practically all the time in the world to figure out a solution.

Bill could use another Stanford to build another portal for him. But, nah, his Sixer would probably get jealous. That and ask him potentially awkward questions he has no interest in answering.

Time Baby's cronies should have finished dismantling the portal by now, and knowing Time Baby he won't bother to keep an eye on a location he's positive he has under his control. Overconfidence will be his downfall.

But how to make it his downfall?

Glasses. He should be returning from his family trip in less than a week from now. He has the technical prowess to build the portal. But... once he realizes what Bill's done he won't be so keen on helping Bill again. But surely if it's for his old college buddy he'd put the work in to save Sixer? If Bill plays his cards right then he can convince Glasses to rebuild the portal...

But he can't count on that happening. It'd probably be a long and tedious effort which Bill has no guarantee that it'd even work. The cards simply aren't in his favor.

Think. There must be something that Bill is missing. A card hidden behind a card he'd forgotten about.

Stanford hadn't bothered to make friends with the locals of Gravity Falls, which is bad. No friends means no one who would seek his safe return. As a matter of fact, Sixer hadn't bothered to make a lot of friends over the course of his life. Before, Bill had found this to be extremely useful as Sixer clung to him like no other. But now... fuck. This doesn't leave Bill with much he can count on. If he just hadn't pushed so many people away from him-

Wait.

Several puzzle pieces click into place.

Yes, that'll work just perfectly! ❤

Bill exits his magic-induced state. "GOT IT!"

Sixer startles harshly and grips at his vest right over his heart. Whoops. Sixer takes a few deep breaths then looks over at him. "What?"

Bill gestures wildly in excitement. "You sent that letter to your brother and that's our ticket out of here!"

Sixer stares a little blankly. "What?"

Bill's too hyped to get upset at him for not understanding such a simple thing. "Don't you see? If we can get Fez and, perhaps with some convincing, Glasses to rebuild the portal then we'd be able to leave this horrid place!"

"Rebuild? What do you mean rebuild?"

"Aren't you aware that Time Baby's cronies have disassembled the portal? I thought you figured that out?"

"WHAT?!" Sixer grips his hair. "My life's work, gone like that?"

"Hmm, your life's work, huh?"

Sixer doesn't appear to get the implication of Bill's words. "Yes! They took it down and-" Sixer glares at Bill, "it's all your fault, yet again!"

Bill raises his hands in a placating gesture. "Relax Sixer. I said that we'd get them to rebuild it."

"No! They couldn't get it working without me! Besides, how do you propose that that'll even work? Just waltz up in their dreams and ask them to rebuild the exact same thing? If Time Baby noticed the first time, why wouldn't he notice the second?"

"Simple. I alter the concealment spell so that way it conceals not only the portal, but itself as well!"

"Concealment spell?"

"Yeah, it's a spell that conceals. Catch up IQ."

"That's not what I-" Sixer stops and pinches the bridge of his nose. "How are you going to convince either of them to do that for us? Why would they build another portal at all? We don't have any money to give F anymore, and I doubt that Stanley's done a single hard day's work in his life."

Bill waggles his finger at Sixer. "Oh, ye of little faith! They'd do it because they love you! That's what the power of love does for humans, right? Love can do anything!"

Sixer stares at Bill. Seconds tick by. Bill's starting to get worried that Sixer didn't catch what he said and is about to repeat himself when Sixer very gently places his face into his hands. "I'm fucked."

Ugh, how distasteful. "Watch your language."

Sixer does not remove his face from his hands. "What's with the- Since when do you care about cussing?"

"For a very long time. Cursing is vulgar and ungentlemanly."

Sixer is silent for a moment before he mumbles, "What does it even matter?"

Bill poses regally. "I am the height of what a gentleman is meant to be! And a gentleman does not curse."

Sixer finally looks up and hisses through his teeth. "No, they just lie and use you!"

Ah. Bill wilts. "Fair enough. However," Bill straightens himself out, "you must admit that besides that I'm a very good gentleman."

Sixer fixes a look at Bill. After a few seconds, he looks Bill up and down. Then he goes back to staring. "You certainly do have the air of a gentleman even if you aren't one."

"What?! You don't consider me a true gentleman?" Completely unacceptable. Bill leans in close to Sixer. "What do I have to do to prove myself to you?"

Sixer leans away. "I'm not sure you can prove to me that you are a gentleman. Sure, on the surface, you look like one. But deep down, you're more, uh..." Irritation flashes across his face.

Bill's not certain he likes where this is going. "I'm more what?"

Sixer places a hand on his face and sighs. "I'm not sure what you are deep down. All you've shown me before was a bunch of lies. Was anything you told me about yourself even true?"

Oh. Well, that went in a different direction than Bill thought it would. "Of course I've told you the truth on occasion! Like when I told you that my favorite color was black and that other time I told you that I don't need to eat food, but enjoy it anyways!"

Sixer drops his hand from his face tiredly. "No, I mean the truth about who you are, not what you like."

Shit, what does Bill say to that?

Sixer looks him directly in the eye. "Who even are you?"

That's a complicated question. One that Bill's not certain how to answer. He's a murderer, a thief, a liar, a manipulator, and... just lots of bad things spring to mind. But he can't tell Sixer that! He'd think Bill was evil or something! Bill's not evil! He's good!

Sixer continues to stare at Bill, clearly waiting for an answer.

Bill fiddles with his bowtie. "I was telling the truth that I am a demigod. And... um... Can you be more specific with your question? What do you want to know?"

Sixer mutters to himself. "I guess that question was a bit broad." His speaking volume rises back to normal levels. "Tell me why you want to become a god."

Shit. "Aha, well, uh," Bill fumbles, "I want to become perfect."

"Why."

This conversation just isn't going the way that Bill wants it to go. "There are lots of problems in the multiverse. If I can become a god I can fix them."

Sixer's brow furrows. "You... want to do good."

This is a much better direction for this conversation to go! Bill gives a thumbs up. "Precisely!"

"You want to do right, by doing me wrong."

Bill flails his arms. "Wait wait wait, it's not that I wanted to hurt you! It's that the way I was doing things was the easiest path! By the time I realized you were cool I was too deep in the lie to tell the truth!"

"Too deep in the lie."

"Yes."

Sixer takes a moment. "So you were a coward."

WHAT. "I am NO coward."

"You're not convincing me."

"I- I just-" Bill loses the heat he was building up. It's endlessly frustrating that Bill can't put on an act at Sixer. Who even is Bill without his theatrics? ~~He already knows.~~ "I just didn't want you to think badly of me. In your eyes I was perfect and I didn't want to lose that."

Sixer looks distinctly unimpressed. "That doesn't make me sympathetic in the slightest. Also, I still view that as cowardly. "

"Yeah? Well..." Bill starts messing with his hands. He mumbles, "I'm not a coward..."

"But you did something cowardly."

Bill crosses his arms and looks away. "Fine, maybe it was a smidge bit cowardly. BUT," he points and stares at Sixer intensely, "that doesn't mean that I'm a coward! We all have our weak moments."

"You lied to me for years! That's not just a weak moment."

"Maybe from your perspective it was a long time, but for me, who's been alive for several billions of years, it was a short amount of time. A blip in the grand scheme of things."

"Don't try to minimize what you did to me."

"I'm not! I'm just saying that for me it was a moment."

Sixer doesn't look at all like he's taking to what Bill is saying.

Bill considers his next words carefully. "It was a bad moment that was all my fault. But just because I was a tiny bit cowardly doesn't mean that you should define me by my mistakes!"

Sixer's anger spikes. "Then what do you want to be defined by? Because all I have reference to are lies and the bad things you did to me!"

"That's- Hmm..." Sixer has a point. If Bill wants things to work with Sixer then he needs to work on building positive memories rather than trying to paint himself in a positive light. All they've been doing is- He's been creating negative memories with Sixer by arguing!

This needs to change right now.

Bill looks directly into Sixer's eyes. "I see your point and you're right."

Sixer looks like he's about to argue further, but then he pauses. He stays that way for several seconds, looking like he's thinking over what Bill said. "Yes... I am."

"Right, and I should pay closer attention to what you have to say because your words are important."

Bill can feel that Sixer is mildly suspicious. "What makes you say that?"

"I realized that if I want to keep you around I need to treat you better." Buttering people up always makes them more endeared to you. If Bill has to lay on the appreciation then he will.

Sixer blinks in surprise. "So you plan on taking my words into account of things instead of ignoring them?"

Bill wants to keep Sixer around until he dies. It'd be such a tragic waste if he got rid of his toy now. If this works then, "Yes."

Sixer stares at Bill. After a few moments, he gingerly smiles. It's the first time he's genuinely smiled at Bill since Bill rescued him. Bill feels fuzzy at the sight of it. Ah, this is the feeling that he's missed so sorely. He's made the right decision after all.

Bill is so caught up in the fuzziness that he nearly misses it when Sixer says, "It's good you're improving yourself."

"Of course I'm improving. If I want to become perfection itself I need to get past the arrogance of myself. I learned that the easy way."

"There's an easy way to learn that?"

"Yep! By watching somebody else make the mistake for you."

"Who?"

Bill gestures to the direction of his place. "Let's walk and talk, so to speak."

Sixer's eyebrow raises in question.

It's easy enough to know what Sixer will say before he even says it. "To my house, of course!"

"A house? Here?"

Bill smirks. "Of course! Did you think I just lived among the asteroids without a place to hang out?"

Sixer looks away and rubs his neck awkwardly. He is so silly.

Bill snorts despite his anatomy not actually working that way. "I've got a nice little cozy space made out of asteroid bits and other things that randomly enter this place. I even have," Bill leans into Sixer's space and whispers, "a library."

Bill has Sixer's full attention at that. Excitement builds in his voice. "A library?"

"Yep! I've got all sorts of books in all sorts of alien languages! I've been building up my collection enough that I've accumulated hundreds of books! Come on, let's head to my place!" Bill floats backward towards his house. "I'm sure that you'll also enjoy the architecture!"

Sixer tries to catch up to Bill's head start by, oh my gosh, swimming after him. The best part is how nonchalant Sixer looks while he swims. Like it's a perfectly normal thing to be doing?

Bill stops and tries with all his might to hide how hilarious this is to him, but thanks to this stupid deal of theirs Bill promptly bursts into uproarious laughter. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, DON'T, ahem, don't do that!"

Bill barely registers Sixer's scowl through his tears. "Don't do what?"

Bill tries to reign in his laughter. Ack, body spasms. "Hehe, swimming, you're swimming!"

Sixer's scowl deepens. "How else am I supposed to get around this sea of atmosphere?"

Bill giggles.

"And would you stop laughing?"

"Ha, I don't mean to laugh, eheh, honest! I can't seem to hold back how I really feel around you."

Sixer does not look reassured or comforted.

"Look, sorry! I'm trying not to laugh right now!" Bill pauses, gauging how much laughter is left. "Actually... I think it's just passed!"

Sixer's severe expression lessens. "Well then, how do I move around without you bursting into laughter?"

"The Nightmare Realm is a mind over matter kind of place. You just think about moving and you do!"

Sixer's expression changes to one full of curiosity as he straightens himself out and floats closer to Bill. He lights up and smiles. Cuuuuuute ~ ❤

Bill smiles in return. "See! There you go! You sure do catch on quickly. Usually it takes people a couple of minutes to get the hang of it. Then again, maybe I'm just an excellent teacher."

Sixer laughs. Actually genuinely laughs! "Oh yeah, sure, those couple of sentences were masterfully crafted and it wasn't at all thanks to the fact that I'm a genius."

"Now don't sell yourself short! I'm positive that it was a combination of my excellent teaching skills as well as your genius mind that made this miracle occur!"

Sixer hums like he's actually thinking about it. "You know what? I guess you're right!" He nods. "Yes, this was a combined effort." He heads in closer to Bill and sticks out his hand. "A job well done, comrade."

Bill only hesitates slightly before grabbing Sixer's hand and shaking it. "Indeed, a job well done."

Sixer smiles wider and after a couple of shakes, he lets go. Bill doesn't bother to linger his hand with Sixer's, though he does silently mourn the loss of contact. "So what's this about learning not to be so arrogant the easy way?"

Bill starts moving towards his house again. Once he's certain that Sixer is following him not ridiculously he speaks. "Now, I know this will be quite a shock to you, but a long, long time ago, I used to not be a demigod."

Sixer hums. "I figured as much."

Oh. Then not shocking then. Whatever. "I was not adept at magic back then. However, I did teach myself how to use fire and healing magic. It's considered highly impressive to teach yourself how to use any kind of magic without any guidance. I caught the attention of a man. A man who I would call "Master"."

"A teacher then."

Bill laughs bitterly. "You could barely call him that. Certainly he did teach me how to learn magic but- I'm getting ahead of myself.

"I never did learn Master's true name. He only ever asked anyone to call him master. Even strangers. He was a strange man. An overconfident and arrogant man. He considered himself to be one of the greatest magicians to ever live despite only being around one million years old.

"However, I was incredibly ignorant of how the world outside of my universe worked. It was impressive to me that he had lived as long as he had since I was only 73 when we first met. I was easily impressed by the many things he told me about. I got caught up in his tales and promises. He asked me to help him in exchange for teaching me how to learn magic. We made a deal. My first deal."

Bill laughs hollowly. "It's funny, the first time I saw his hand light aflame I thought that it'd burn me, but I was so desperate for what he promised me that I pushed past my fears and took his hand anyway. It surprised me that the flame was cool and painless. Although I suppose that the deal did burn me in many ways I had no clue was even possible." Would he have accepted that deal knowing what he knows now?

...

"I guess that it was worth it since I wouldn't be here now if I hadn't accepted his deal. I would be long dead without him. Don't get the wrong idea though, I'm not grateful for what he did to me."

Sixer's curiosity burns at Bill, but he doesn't interrupt.

"See, he's the one who taught me to be careful how you word a deal. Me helping him was very vague, while him teaching me how to learn magic is very specific. He taught me how to learn magic alright, and only how to learn magic. Haha. Gave me a couple of books of magic for beginners and taught me how to read the language in those books. And also gave me "free access to his library." A library filled with books of other languages that I for a long time couldn't begin to comprehend. That's it. While me helping him, " these memories, Bill doesn't like thinking of them, "had no specific definition. Which he took advantage of. As the creator of the deal, he could mean those words to mean whatever he wanted them to be since they were vague enough. It took me a few years to realize that I was essentially his servant. That I wasn't a student like I originally thought."

How stupid was Bill back then? He was smart, he knew something was off, but he took the bait anyway. How foolish. "This servitude went on for a couple million years."

Bill barely remembers that Sixer is there when he asks, "Could you really not break the deal?"

Bill turns to look at him. "The only thing that could have broken the deal was death. And I had a reason to stay alive. The thing Master teased me with just before the deal was made. To gain power beyond reason.

"Perhaps I was greedy back then. Perhaps I'm greedy now. But I desire that power more than anything else. I'm certain that if I have that power then I can set things right in the multiverse. To get rid of the pain that inhabits it." ~~To fix-~~ "At least I wouldn't laze about unlike some other god."

Sixer's curiosity spikes. "There is a god?"

" _The axolotl_. They say they always listen. Always knows what happens. And yet THEY DO NOTHING!!" Bill shouts into the vast expanse of swirling colors and asteroids. The axolotl heard him, he knows. Yet nothing happens _like always_.

Sixer clears his throat. "So, what does that have to do with your master?"

Bill's anger comes to a stop as he remembers what he's supposed to be talking about. "Nothing. I went on a tangent." Bill straightens his bowtie. "Anyway, I was a servant for a couple million years. He worked me to the bone, leaving me barely any time to study magic. Most of the time I'd forgone sleep to study. Not the greatest idea I ever had, but I learned how to get by.

"Master, however, did not take the time to study at all. He did not go into his library much and instead spent his time "taking a vacation" and bossing me around. What he was taking a vacation from I'm not sure.

"On occasion, we'd head out to different interesting locations. But only in the name of more vacations. And by we, I mean Master had the vacation. I was still a servant. A good chunk of the time Master would get drunk on these vacations and gloat about being the best, trying to impress anyone who would listen.

"However, on one such occasion, he managed to anger another magician. Master got challenged to a duel to the death. He accepted without thinking twice about the consequences of his actions. After all, he was "the greatest magician to ever live." HA! I stood by and watched Master get destroyed." Bill feels himself get lost in the good memory. "I remember he pleaded with me to help him. But I knew for a fact that even if I did help him we still wouldn't win. So I stayed out of it. I watched Master die that day." Bill hums. "Who knows what would have happened if Master had actually been a decent teacher and taught me magic himself. Perhaps things wouldn't have ended so deadly.

"Ever since then I learned not to be arrogant about my power. After all, there can always be someone stronger than you. Of course, there have been some bumps along the way. Not with strength mind you, but with my intelligence. I learned that the hard way one billion years ago that brute force can't win every situation.

Bill stares into Sixer's eyes. "Never let anyone say that it's dumb to be smart Sixer. You be the nerd you were meant to be and never let anyone make you feel bad for it."

Sixer's emotions are an amalgamation of several different things, but at Bill's final words he feels confusion above all else. "Okay?"

"Good. Intelligence is one of the most important things a person can have. Sure, without it you can fit in, but at what cost?" Bill taps his fingers together. It's simply too bad that some people are as dumb as rocks. Useful tools and fun toys, sure, but they'd be better off dead before their stupidity hurts somebody else. Sixer does have a tendency to be dumb, but Bill's sure that with enough guidance he can snuff that out. Then he'd be-

Wait.

No, wait. Right right right, Bill needs Sixer to be stupid. It's already dangerous enough that he's crazy smart. If he gets too smart then everything that Bill's been working for will be for naught!

Right now Sixer's the perfect mixture of dumb and smart. Intelligent enough to build a portal while dumb enough to not fully question every excuse Bill throws at him. What was Bill thinking trying to encourage Sixer to be smarter than he already is?

What was Bill thinking...

"So, that was a lot to take in."

Bill startles slightly and focuses back in on Sixer.

"I'm not quite sure where to begin with all that." Sixer rubs the back of his neck. "You really just let him die?"

"What else was I supposed to do? I was no competition for that other guy. And he didn't strike me as the merciful type since, you know, he's the one that called for the deathmatch in the first place. So I doubt that begging for the life of Master would have changed his mind."

"Huh, that must have been horrifying to experience."

Actually it was really freeing. And it's not like Bill hadn't seen anybody be brutally murdered before so it wasn't really traumatic at all. "I guess you could say that."

Luckily Sixer's too deep in his sympathy to notice Bill's lackluster response. "How awful... was his death at least swift and painless?"

Uh... "Do you really want me to answer that question?"

Sixer winces. "Oh." Sixer looks off into the distance. Er, actually he might just be lost in his own head? Either way that complicated expression of sympathy and other emotions should not be on his face, especially for such an ugly man as Master.

Quick! Bill needs a distraction before Sixer does something stupid like grow any more sympathetic to Master or offer condolences. Bill racks his brain for anything as his eye scans the horizon. He spots a little dot off in the distance and stops to point at it. "Ooo, look! We're almost at my place!"

Sixer glances at Bill before stopping himself, looking off where Bill is pointing. He stares for a moment before turning back to Bill with a confused expression. Bill only points more enthusiastically. Surely human vision isn't that bad. Sixer's face becomes more determined as he stares out into the void. He squints his eyes and adjusts his glasses. "That little spot?"

Bill stops pointing. "Yep!"

"Bill... that's miles away. We aren't almost at your place."

Bill blows a raspberry. "Maybe by your definition we aren't close." Bill starts moving towards his house again, not bothering to wait to see if Sixer follows.

Bill hears Sixer sigh resignedly behind him before he catches back up with Bill. "You are... ridiculous."

"The correct word is weird."

"...Sure."

They continue floating on to the house. Without speaking. Bill glances at Sixer out of the corner of his eye to see him staring at Bill like he's some sort of puzzle. As the seconds tick by he keeps staring and it irks Bill. "Do you have a question or something?"

Sixer blinks before looking away. "No, I was just thinking."

They lapse back into silence. This is fine and dandy and all, but Bill loathes the silence like nothing else. Noise is a must, but also he doesn't want to interrupt Sixer's thinking. Humans need time to think in order to come to conclusions. Whatever it is that Sixer's thinking about it'll be easier in the long run if Bill lets him think through his thoughts now rather then later.

But... the silence...

As the deciseconds pass by Bill's eye twitches.

Usually, Bill would take the time to think himself, but there really isn't anything to think about right now. Nothing needs to be thought about.

Uhhh...

How... about... how he'll tell his friends the news?

He'll tell them like he tells anybody anything. Blunt and with flair.

...

This is harder than Bill thought it'd be. Bill usually lives in the moment. And this moment is very, very boring because nothing is happening! Sure, they're moving closer to his house, but that's not enough! It's frustrating!

As time slowly crawls by Bill is left feeling more and more ~~anxious~~ annoyed. He needs to say something, anything! Surely eleven seconds is enough time for somebody to think something through, right? "So, you have any questions for me to answer?"

Sixer turns to Bill, slightly annoyed. He looks like he's about to say something when he pauses. He closes his mouth and then lifts his hand to his chin as he goes back to thinking.

Damnit. Nothing changed.

Bill's about to succumb to the misery of silence when Sixer speaks. "You said you have hundreds of books. How did you get them if this place is a prison? Were the books already here?"

Oh thank goodness. "No, the books came in through naturally occurring portals. You see Sixer, the Nightmare Realm likes to steal things. When things in the multiverse go missing, they typically end up here. Fun fact! Amelia Earhart's airplane came crashing here! Too bad she didn't survive."

"That doesn't sound like a fun fact at all."

Shit, here Bill thought he was brightening the mood with facts, but instead he fucked it up. "Oh, I guess you're right."

Think, what could lift the mood.

Ehhh...

Bill lights up. "And socks!"

Sixer spares him a befuddled look.

"Socks wind up here all the time! That's a fun fact! Dryers are actually very close technology-wise to portals, so every time you lose a sock in the dryer it winds up here!"

Sixer's voice is deadpan. "How are dryers and portals even remotely similar?"

"Trust me, once you know how to build a portal you can build a dryer like it's nothing. Another fun fact is that the first primitive portal, besides your's of course, was built by a woman who got so mad that all her socks were disappearing that she built her own dryer that would surely stop eating all her socks. I'll give you three guesses as to what actually happened next."

"...She lost all her laundry?"

Bill laughs. "That she did! And she revolutionized the entire world! And inadvertently caused several wars over the technology!"

"That's not a fun fact either."

Wait, shit. Bill crosses his arms and looks off into the distance as he huffs. "Well, it was a fun fact until I mentioned the wars. The butterfly effect ruins everything."

Sixer is silent for a moment before a laugh escapes his mouth. "I guess it does, doesn't it?"

Bill faces Sixer again. Sixer's smile crinkles the sides of his eyes. Perhaps Bill hasn't fucked up so badly by talking about negative things. Of course, that doesn't mean that he's going to start talking about negative subjects all willy nilly. He has tact after all. But still, nice to know he doesn't have to walk on eggshells to get Sixer to like him.

Sixer turns away from Bill to face where they're headed and stops in his tracks. "Uh, woah."

Bill stops as well and glances at his house. It's relatively close now. They're probably around a mile or so away from it. Bill looks back at Sixer. He's staring wide-eyed at the giant structure. Bill's not overly suprised that he's shocked. This is probably the biggest building he's ever seen in his life, well, besides the ones that they saw back in the future. It's nice seeing the awe written plain over his face.

Bill faces the building again. Sure, it's made of broken apart furniture, asteroids, Amelia Earhart's plane, trash, and lots of duct tape, but that doesn't mean that it's not beautifully crafted. Every time Bill gets a good look at his house he can't help but admire it.

"So, uh, why is your house... like that?"

Bill glances at Sixer out of the corner of his eye. His face tells Bill that he's perplexed. Bill looks back at his house. He supposes he can see what Sixer means. After all, Sixer is used to buildings being uniform and boring. His house is the opposite of that. The walls are placed where they need to be and the rooms are as big as Bill wanted them to be. So what if the ceilings and floors don't match up? So what if the fifth floor doesn't have any walls or basic structure? So what if gravity existed the whole thing would collapse? It doesn't matter, because, "This building is a work of art."

Bill can feel Sixer's gaze. He doesn't look back, already knowing that Sixer is confused and incredulous.

Bill doesn't bother to fill the silence despite how much he wants to insist he speaks the truth. He knows full well that Sixer will figure it out.

"I... see. Well, it certainly is... interesting."

Aha! Just as Bill expected! He smiles. "Thanks, I built it myself! With a little help from my friends of course."

"Wha- You can build buildings?"

Bill's voice fills with pride. "Yup! I'm self-taught too!"

Sixer doesn't speak for a moment before quietly muttering, "I can tell."

Bill's not certain if he was meant to hear that or not. Is it an insult? Or something else?

Something large smacks into Bill at a high velocity, sending him backward at least a few yards.

What the fuck? An attack? Bill lights his hands on fire and takes a look at what hit him only to disperse his flames as soon as recognizes one of his precious eye bats. "Hey there Delilah!"

Delilah nudges against Bill, clearly begging for pets.

Bill happily obliges. "Aww, who's a good girl? You've been okay since I've been gone?"

She forcibly presses herself hard against Bill, toppling him over slightly.

"Ohoho! I missed you too!" Bill hugs her gently for a moment. "Don't worry girl, I won't be leaving again for a while. Why don't you go tell the others I'm back?"

Delilah stops begging for attention and backs off. She turns to look at Sixer, curiosity glinting in her eye, but then she flaps her powerful wings off towards the other eye bats flying around his house.

Bill turns to Sixer. "She's such a cutie, isn't she?"

Sixer adjusts his glasses as his gaze follows Delilah. "I never thought I'd say that about a giant eyeball with wings, but she is rather cute."

This is fantastic! Another thing that they can agree on! Sixer will bond with him over this! "Come on, let's keep moving. We'll get there in a couple of minutes."

Sixer nods and follows besides Bill.

Bill lasts three seconds before he breaks the silence. "Soooo, tell me what you think of my house!"

Sixer stares at the structure towering over them. "It certainly is huge. And it's, uh... is there a reason that your house is made of," he pauses for a bit. Bill wonders what word he'll use to describe the garbage that makes up everything. "random stuff?"

Bill snorts. Sixer is so funny. "Do you know how often people lose supplies to build a house with? Not very often. I had to make do. The inside looks better than the outside anyway."

Sixer nods.

A whoosh is all the warning Bill gets as a flock of eye bats suddenly surround him, each begging for his attention.

"Whoa-ho-ho! Easy everybody! One at a time!"

The eye bats ignore Bill's words and keep knocking each other out of the way, trying to get closer to him.

Bill laughs. His eye bats are just too much sometimes, and that's just the way he loves them.

Over the sound of flapping wings, Bill hears muffled snickers. Bill tries to glare at Sixer, but he can't see him through all of the eye bats.

Bill gets a better idea. "Oh, you think this is so funny, don't you? Oh, everyone! I brought a new friend! I bet he'd love to give you lots of pets!"

At Bill's words a few of them break off their assault on him and assumedly take notice of Sixer.

There, that takes care of some of the eye bats and Sixer will think twice about laughing at Bill.

Bill takes note of how many eye bats are surrounding him and then grows multiple arms for maximum petting efficiency. He makes certain that every bat gets petted equally. Some of the sneaky ones tried to move around and pretend to be different eye bats so they can get more pets, but Bill recognizes each one. "Oh, come on, you know I know what you look like Petunia. You can't trick me!"

Petunia's eye glints sadly.

Oh, she's doing this on purpose! "No, you already got pet!"

Her wings wilt.

Bill is not one to be emotionally manipulated. He knows what this is. She's faking.

Petunia looks away before slowly flying away.

Ugh, she has no right doing this to him! "FINE. Get back over here."

Petunia's eye lights up in excitement and she flies at high speeds at Bill. She slams against Bill and he reluctantly pets her some more.

"Yeah, yeah, don't think you're special or anything."

Every eye bat notices Petunia getting more pets and they all rush Bill again.

Great. "See! Look what you did Petunia!"

She cuddles up against Bill's hand contently. She doesn't even feel bad. The rascal.

Bill guesses this is technically his fault though. He did give in to her obvious ploy. Bill sighs as he's forced to start all over and pet everyone again. Not that it's a bad thing, but Bill has other things to do. Like introduce Sixer to all of his friends. He's sure that they'll get along just splendidly. His friends are weird. Sixer's weird. A perfect combination!

Bill manages to get through all the pets quickly enough and the eye bats disperse giving him some space. Bill turns his attention to Sixer to see that he's smiling and laughing as the eye bats that had broken off overwhelm him. He's only got two hands after all and clearly it's not enough for them.

For a moment, Bill is upset that his plan to punish Sixer backfired so spectacularly. But then, seeing how much Sixer is enjoying himself, how much he is smiling, suddenly Bill can't be mad. Not when Sixer and Bill's eye bats get along so well. Not when seeing that look on Sixer's face makes him feel all gooey inside.

It's a nice moment that Bill doesn't want to disturb, but clearly Sixer needs some help. "Alright everyone, I'm sure that Sixer would like some space now!"

The eye bats reluctantly break off of Sixer. He's still smiling, though now it's in relief. "Thanks."

Bill smiles in return. "Come on, we're just a minute away." Bill sticks out his hand towards Sixer.

Sixer almost takes his hand, but then stops halfway. He drops his smile and his expression becomes unreadable.

Bill is confused for a millisecond. Then he abruptly remembers that technically Sixer doesn't want to be touched by him. Fuck. Bill quickly withdraws his hand. "Aha, right. Well, let's go."

Bill fidgets with his bowtie as he moves towards his house. Ack, that was so stupid of him! No, it wasn't being stupid, he wasn't even thinking! Perhaps he got too caught up in the good atmosphere to remember that he's on thin ice. He shouldn't be so overly confident when it comes to touch.

Bill tries to get a reading on what Sixer's feeling and then stops. Sixer's still in the same spot and his emotions are impossible to decode. Is Bill getting bad at reading other people's emotions? Or just Sixer's? He turns around to face him. "Sixer?"

Sixer is staring intensely at his own hand, but as Bill spoke his nickname he jolts out of his trance. "Uh, yeah." He drops his hand and makes his way over to where Bill is. "I was just, uh, thinking." Sixer looks past Bill at the house. "So... your friends are pretty tall?"

It's an obvious diversion. Whatever it was Sixer was thinking back there he doesn't want to think about anymore. Or maybe he has no interest in sharing his thoughts with Bill? Either way, Bill gets the feeling that he shouldn't press it. "Only a few of them are so tall, Most of them are closer to your height."

"Aha, well, that's good. Makes it less likely I'll get stepped on then."

Sixer's emotions are all over the damn place making it difficult to narrow down what he could possibly be thinking. "Sixer, you won't get stepped on because nobody walks around here."

"...Right."

...

Well, they've reached Bill's house now. Bill makes a noise like he's clearing his throat. "Welp," he cracks his knuckles, "time to get this show on the road!"

Bill increases his size until he's a little over half the size of the giant door. He adjusts his bowtie so that it's perfect before grabbing the doorknob and slamming it open. "GUESS WHO'S BACK!"

Multiple yells of shock sound from within the living room. Bill watches in amusement as his friends flinch hard enough to be visible, even enough that Keyhole falls out of his seat from one of the couches. Bill snickers.

Hectorgon is the one who recovers first. "Bill, it's you!"

At that, the mood of the room shifts from mildly panicked to overly excited. "Bill! It's so good to see you!

"It's about time you got back!"

"Biiiiiiiill, we missed you!"

"Hey Teeth, go get Amorphous Shape and Kryptos!"

Bill turns to Sixer and gestures for him to come forward. "Sixer, come inside! Nobody's gonna bite ya!"

"Sixer?"

"He's here?"

Sixer eyes Bill questioningly.

Bill silently gestures for him to move forward again.

Sixer floats into the view of the living room and his expression changes to one of astonishment. Bill's not entirely sure why, it's just a living room, albeit a large one in comparison to Sixer. But still just a living room. His eyes dart around probably taking in as much detail as he possibly can. Does the decor interest him or something?

Bill closes the door behind them and then follows Sixer's gaze to see that he's actually staring at all of his friends and not the room like Bill originally believed. (How embarrassing that Bill got something wrong. But nobody noticed so it's like it never happened.)

Bill would love to start introductions, but the tv they have is blaring some movie that everyone was watching. Bill stretches out his arm and snags the remote control from the nearby couch and pauses the show. He leaves the remote on the couch and retracts his arm.

As his arm snaps back to his side he uses the excessive movement to point at Sixer. "This here is Stanford Pines! I know he's real tiny, but he is intelligent, so don't go insulting him or anything."

Pyronica stands up from the loveseat she was sitting on and walks over to Sixer. As she leans over him Bill can't help but notice that Sixer's heart rate had increased. Is he nervous? Or excited maybe? "Oh, you're right Bill, he is cute!" She pokes a finger at Sixer's cheek and he- wha- he blushes?? "Why, he's so cute I could eat him up!"

Bill knows full well that Pyronica is joking, but still- "Now now, Pyronica, no need for that. Sixer's mine and mine alone."

Bill feels shock coming off from Sixer, but then it shifts to anger. Uh oh. "I am not yours."

Fuck. Bill did not mean to get Sixer mad at him again. Bill turns to face him. His expression looks severe.

Before Bill can respond Pyronica chuckles. "Are you sure Bill? He looks nice and chewy."

Sixer blanches at record pace as he fully realizes the implications of what Pyronica just said. He sidesteps behind Bill.

It's sort of surprising that he trusts Bill enough to protect him from Pyronica.

Pyronica barks out a laugh and snorts. "Relax, it's just a joke. I wouldn't stab Bill in the back even if you do look tasty."

Sixer steps out from behind Bill, but from his hesitant movements and awkward laugh Bill can tell that he doesn't fully believe her.

Bill points at Pyronica. "Sixer, this is Pyronica. She's my best friend! And this," Bill's hand shifts to point at each of his friends as he calls out their names, "is Keyhole, Paci-Fire, Hectorgon, 8-Ball, and X̵̪̥̌̇̃̓͐̑à̵̪̼̹͉̉̈̒̄̓͜͜ṅ̸̬̰̠̫͇t̶̨̪̫̻̃͝h̷̥͉͖̦̑̇̆͆̒̇a̵͇̝̕r̶̹̜͉̉̐̊͂͝."

Upon hearing Ẍ̵̙̩͕́͋͒͋â̸̘̩̺͖̱͜n̶̢͕̫͇̼̪̋͛t̸̠͖̄͊͘̕ͅh̵̩̺̋͗̏̈́͠ͅa̷͎̮̜̓̾͌͗̔͘ŗ̷̝̟̭̿͛̐͂ͅ'̷̧͒̂̾ș̶̞͎̫̥̥͐̔̎̌ name Sixer flinches harshly and his hands jump to his ears.

Uh, whoops. "My bad! Forgot for a moment there that mortals can't stand demon speak. You can instead call him by his other name, The Being Whose Name Must Never Be Said!"

Sixer removes his hands from his ears and instead uses them to rub circles on his temples. Poor Sixer.

Bill tries to lower his voice so he doesn't worsen Sixer's migraine. "Everybody, Sixer will be staying with us for a while!"

Footsteps sound from the stairs. Bill turns to see Teeth leading Amorphous Shape and Kryptos into the living room.

Amorphous Shape waves at him. "Hey, Bill! Is it time for us to-"

Oh no no no. Bill cuts off Amorphous Shape's voice, both magically and verbally. Can't have Sixer know about Weirdmaggedon. "Amorphous Shape! Meet Sixer! Sixer, these are the rest of my friends Amorphous Shape, Teeth, and," he stretches out his arms and picks up Kryptos, pulling him into a bear hug, "my baby boy Kryptos!"

Kryptos squirms. "Ack, Uncle Bill! Put me down!"

"Aww ❤!" Bill sets Kryptos down and pats the top of his head.

Kryptos pouts. It just makes Bill want to pull him into another crushing hug. "Honestly, I'm not a child anymore... Wait, do you have a physical form?"

"That I do! But don't worry, I'm clean. I wouldn't put you under unnecessary stress."

Kryptos looks nervous. "Are you sure?"

If this were anybody else Bill would get pissed he's being questioned. "Cleanliness is close to godliness!"

Kryptos sighs in relief. He then glances over at Sixer. He nervously takes his gloved hand and waves it at him. "H-hello? You're, uh, Sixer, the human, right?"

Sixer has a dumbfounded look on his face for some reason, but at Kryptos' words he shakes his head and then smiles. "Well, actually my name is Stanford, but Sixer's fine too." He sticks out his hand at Kryptos.

Kryptos backs up from the sudden movement. He looks at Sixer's hand, then at Sixer's face, back to his hand, and then shoots a confused look over at Bill.

"It's a human custom to shake hands when you meet somebody new. It's like a deal, but without the deal."

"Oh." Kryptos looks back at Sixer. He looks contemplative but doesn't move.

Sixer's hand starts to lower. "If you don't want to shake my hand you don't have to."

"Oh, no, it's fine! Definitely!" Kryptos grabs Sixer's hand with both of his. His grip is loose and uncertain.

Sixer gently shakes their hands and then lets go. "It's nice to meet you."

Kryptos takes his hands back and stares at them for a couple of seconds. He lowers them down to his sides. "It's nice to meet you too?"

"So, uh..." Sixer's words drift off. The curiosity in his eyes tells Bill that he wants to ask a thousand questions, but it holding himself back for some reason. Perhaps to not appear rude? And of course Kryptos is uncertain about what to say himself. He always doesn't know how to act around strangers. Poor kid's got anxiety bad.

The silence goes on for a few moments longer than what is typically considered socially acceptable.

Bill claps his hands. "Well, this is delightfully awkward! But unfortunately, I need to tell guys the big news!" Bill pauses his speech. It'd be best if he was in the center of the room so he heads over to hover in front of the tv. He looks around the room at everybody before speaking again. "Operation: Escape the Nightmare Realm and have a big party is delayed!" He tries to speak enthusiastically, but there's an underlying flatness to his tone.

"What?"

"I thought that you being here meant we finally got to leave this dump!"

"What gives?"

"Yeah, what happened?"

Bill raises his hand and everybody goes quiet. "Now I know that this is hard on everybody here. Things were going well, but then," Bill's voice turns venomous, "Time Baby shoved his fat little fingers into my plan and ruined everything."

"No! That horrible little infant!"

"Man, of course Time Baby has to ruin everything again."

Bill raises his hand again. "And that's not the worst part. Time Baby had the portal taken apart!"

"What?!"

"But we were so close!"

"How'd he even figure anything out?"

Everyone went quiet without needing a signal. "Now I'll admit, there was some fault on my end-"

"No way Bill!"

"Don't blame yourself for something Time Baby did!"

"-and while I appreciate the sentiment, I must confess I flubbed up the concealment spell. I should have been more careful in crafting it. I underestimated Time Baby. He's gotten smarter, but I assure you that next time Time Baby won't notice a single darn thing. We'll escape this horrid wasteland one way or another, and I have just the plan to get us out of here.

"You see, I've brought Sixer with me!" Bill signals for Sixer to join him in front of the tv. After a moment of hesitation Sixer comes forward. "He got arrested by Time baby, so he's with us now! We'll be using his friends and family to rebuild the portal!"

"A new member of the gang?"

"Is he weird?"

"Why should we accept a human?"

Bill tuts. "Of course he's a weirdo! Jeez, it's like you guys think I haven't thought this through. Look at his hands! Humans are only supposed to have five fingers on each one!"

At that everybody stands up from their seats and start to crowd around Sixer, waiting for him to show off his hands.

Sixer shoots a quick glare at Bill before unsurely raising his hands and stretching out his fingers so that they're easier to count.

There's no doubt in Bill's mind that things will go well.

"He fits in with us!"

"Ooo, so cool!"

"Welcome to The Gang of Interdimensional Criminals and Nightmares, Sixer!"

Sixer looks shocked. "I- I'm not a criminal!"

Everybody's confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You got arrested by Time Baby and escaped from prison! That makes you a criminal."

Sixer's face goes blank. "I guess I am."

All of Bill's friends cheer and pat Sixer on the back, welcoming him into the group.

Sixer shoots a bitter look at Bill.

Bill tries to not let Sixer see that his glare is affecting him, but after a few moments he can't stand seeing how angry Sixer is at him. Bill looks away despite his best efforts. Damnit.

Shake it off Bill, shake it off. "If everybody here is done I'm going to give Sixer a tour of the house."

The gang all stop surrounding Sixer and go back to sitting on the various couches in front of the tv. Keyhole unpauses their movie and they go back to watching it.

Sixer looks curious about what they're watching. If he wants to watch that movie he can do it later. Bill interrupts his line of sight. "C'mon Sixer, let me give you a tour of your new home!" Bill shrinks down to Sixer-friendly size and gestures for Sixer to follow him.

Sixer follows.


End file.
